Saturday, February 11, 2006

Neither Wholesome Nor American

1. In Europe, instead of wholesome Americana, they get weird, Felliniesque crap like this.

2. "I can't believe all of us came dressed as Dan Rather's ego."

3. And then Blogger's server collapsed under the weight of Andrew Sullivan captions, which was ironic because Sully is a notorious bare-backer.

4. On the other hand, does anything say 'Europe' better than a bunch of cartoon characters with completely empty thought balloons?

5. Yoko Ono's rendition of 'Imagine' caused many spectators heads to explode.

6. The adult in me rolls his eyes at the sight of frosted Euro-trash with big balloon heads, but the kid in me thinks 'cool BB gun targets.'

7. John Kerry's attempt to escape The Island is once again foiled by Rover.

8. Olympic Opening Ceremony or lost episode of Twin Peaks, you be the judge."

9. The Euros tried to psyche out the Americans by showing their massive and superior intellects, but the Yanks knew they were just a bunch of airheads.

10. It was supposed to be a tribute to '99 Red Balloons,' but the color was changed for fear of offending Islam somehow.

Best of sonicfrog
Though many doubt the prospect of success, rehearsal continues on Andrew Lloyd Weber's new musical "Balloons".

Best of Rodney Dill
The arrival of Hellraiser's Pinhead sort of deflated the decorum of the festivities.

DRUDGEBREAKING: A South Korean scientist today announced that Howie Mandel has been cloned enmass. developing...

Best of Chevy Rose
"So we float when we jump, right? Right? RIGHTTTTTWRONGGGGGGGG"

Best of David Simon
The Raelians unveil their new vestments.

Best of jbinnout
Yeah, my trainer gave me shots, too. He swears it's just vitamins. All natural. I'll pass that urine test. Noooo problem.

Best of Submariner
The Amish were astonished that they could relieve the building pressure by er, um, ah, handling their ah, problem for a few minutes...

This is most certainly NOT the "Naked News," though the cup size might be right for that one Danish blond...

From Breitbart on a tip from El Hombre.

26 comments:

T. Harris said...

"Up, up and awaa-ay
In my beautiful, my beautiful
Balllloooon!"

Rodney Dill said...

DRUDGEBREAKING: Proctor and Gamble is test marketing their new Condoms for dickhead's product. Moveon.org took the entire first shipments. Lawyers and politicians are considered the premier target market.

Rodney Dill said...

"Where ya headed?"
"Anywhere but, Chocolate City."

Chip said...

I think we avoid having to jump out of the buildings in the first place.

David Simon said...

"It's a bit much Andrew. I think I'll be much happier with the pillbox and veil number. You do take American Express, don't you?"

sonicfrog said...

Though many doubt the prospect of success, rehearsal continues on Andrew Lloyd Weber's new musical "Balloons".

David Simon said...

"If I don't get a whopper raise, OSHA is going to hear about this."

David Simon said...

"Like I told you Enzo, we said goodbye to the last bastion of sanity when the United States lost its executive seat on the IOC."

sonicfrog said...

Scientists are stunned to find that a new trait has evolved in spermatozoa, where the sperm not only looks human, but can expand to three times its normal size, giving them the ability to stretch and break any condom intended to stop them from achieving their goal, fertilizing the egg.

sonicfrog said...

Look everyone, it's the Al Gore clones!

David Simon said...

The pigeons of St. Peter's Basilica amuse themselves with an impromptu late night bombing raid on Turino.

David Simon said...

10. It was supposed to be a tribute to '99 Red Balloons,' but the color was changed for fear of offending Islam somehow.

Either that, or the producers were afraid that it would inspire a middle-aged Nina to flash her armpits again.

Rodney Dill said...

The arrival of Hellraiser's Pinhead sort of deflated the decorum of the festivities.

RFTR said...

Harvard students go for a walk...

Chevy Rose said...

"All the local Taco Bell customers couldn't believe the result of taking GasEx today."

-----------------
"So we float when we jump, right? Right? RIGHTTTTTWRONGGGGGGGG"
-----------------
"I feel lighter since starting those Miracle diet pills, and I'm 4 sizes smaller in the waist."
--------------
"They all know we inhaled, don't they?"

David Simon said...

The Raelians unveil their new vestments.

Rodney Dill said...

"Run, run, before that woman on a tricycle captures another one of us."

jbinnout said...

Yeah, my trainer gave me shots, too. He swears it's just vitamins.
All natural. I'll pass that urine test. Noooo problem.

The Man said...

I wonder what happened to my box of rubbers.

Dusty said...

New European eco-suits to protect the environment from flatuent gasses.

Rodney Dill said...

DRUDGEBREAKING: A South Korean scientist today announced that Howie Mandel has been cloned enmass. developing...

catbat said...

on the coolness scale, those are rated somewhere between the rollerblading fiery jetpack men and the wiggly dancing alpine trees.

Submariner said...

The Amish were astonished that they could relieve the building pressure by er, um, ah, handling their ah, problem for a few minutes...

Submariner said...

I HATE this Q version of "Pop Goes the Weasel."

Cybrludite said...

Looks like some folks from the Krewe de Vieux parade in the French Quarter on Saturday night...

Submariner said...

This is most certainly NOT the "Naked News," though the cup size might be right for that one Danish blond...