Thursday, February 23, 2006

Need to Get Something Off Your Chest?

1. Suddenly, I'm craving a watermelon-flavored lollipop.

2. I hope the chick in black isn't frigid, or else the other chick's tongue is going to get stuck there.

3. <ORA> --- Following Professor E.C. Buehler's advice, the girls used plenty of lip and tongue action. And the result was pleasing.

4. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a smelly pirate hooker? Let's find out.

5. "Oh, Carmen. I hope I never figure out how to quit you."

6. "You've got a little spot right there. Let me see if I can get it."

7. "I forget, which Clinton are we working for? Oh, who cares, just lick me some more."

8. "Oh, yes! Let me break out my Howard Dean Action Figure with Nipple-Pinching Action!"

9. "We decided to pass on the erotic cat-fight in favor of an erotic cat-bath."

10. "Thanks for trying, Carmen, but to really fulfill my fantasies would take a midget accordion player, a bare-assed soccer player, an elephant with a motorcycle, an effeminate communist skate-queen, a Mexican landscaper, and a couple of anorexic child-stars."

Giggiddy: 1: A word used when something hot or sexy has been done or said, originated by the Family Guy character Quagmire. 2: also when anything happens that is so good you just about get an erection(or would if you had a penis....)

Best of Cybrludite
Don't let 'em get too close to a space heater, or those bolt-ons will melt!

"They're real, and they're spect... oh, who am I trying to BS? They're as plastic as Barbie's!"

Best of sonicfrog
Stamps!... Must... Have... Stamps!

Best of Submariner
DRUDGE BREAKING: Boobs Not Bombs announced a new membership drive today. The campaign has been titled "We may not be able to lick the enemy, but we can lick each other!" Male membership is reported to have increased 3792% between 9 and 11 am est. DEVELOPING...

Best of The Man
Kim Bauer has contributed very little to the CTU team, but her lesbo antics seem to be a big hit at the office parties.

Greetings from The Silicon Valley

Best of the paperboy
Oh Carmen, your nipple's about to pop out! Here, let me help...

Best of Submariner
Just another day in the booth with Howard Stern.

Double your pleasure,double your fun, with two smelly pirate hookers, for the price of one.


There's a whole bunch more of these. Don't thank me, thank fizzix.

28 comments:

Cybrludite said...

Don't let 'em get too close to a space heater, or those bolt-ons will melt!

Cybrludite said...

"They're real, and they're spect... oh, who am I trying to BS? They're as plastic as Barbie's!"

David Simon said...

"Blech, why didn't you tell me you were lactating, Carmen?"

David Simon said...

"I agree, it's a definitive step up from Dennis Rodman."

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sonicfrog said...

Stamps!... Must... Have... Stamps!

Submariner said...

DRUDGEBREAKING:
Boobs Not Bombs announced a new membership drive today. The campaign has been titled "We may not be able to lick the enemy, but we can lick each other!"
Male membership is reported to have increased 3792% between 9 and 11 am est.
DEVELOPING...

The Man said...

Kim Bauer has contributed very little to the CTU team, but her lesbo antics seem to be a big hit at the office parties.

The Man said...

Greetings from The Silicon Valley

divine miss M said...

Designer slip dress: $395
Hair bleach job: $175
Putting your face in the middle and going "Blubble, blubble, blubble": Priceless.

champaignken said...

"Andrew Sullivan woke from his recurrent nightmare with a strange craving for a milkshake"

champaignken said...

"Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers start rehersal for their new Vegas show combinig the best of La Cage and Cirque du Soleil."

T. Harris said...

Now THAT'S entertainment!

T. Harris said...

Build it and they will come: Put two hot chicks on a stage and have them lick around on each other.

T. Harris said...

"Remember what to do when I get T. Harris' unit in my left hand? Yes, yes. Excellent, excellent."

MP Martin said...

Oh Carmen, your nipple's about to pop out! Here, let me help...

Submariner said...

Valley of the Dolls III:
French Lick, IN

MP Martin said...

Captain, there's a transmission encoded in the tachyon beam: "Help, I'm an invisible man trapped between two womens bodies."

Submariner said...

We make mountains out of molehills

Breasts-я-Us Plastic Surgery Clinic
6969 Wysteria Lane
Grand Tetons, CA

Submariner said...

Just another day in the booth with Howard Stern.

Submariner said...

它會取樂這個有臭味的海盜妓女如果您將嚼油脂。

Eat me.

Don't you just love watching dubbed movies?

MP Martin said...

Double your pleasure,
double your fun
with two smelly pirate hookers,
two smelly pirate hookers
for the price of one.

Submariner said...

Interesting - Any idea what happened, V? After checking with "preview," I posted some script in Cantonese at 2:42. The html text I copied from my online translator appeared properly at the time, but at 5:45, all I can see are html boxes indicating unknown scripting.

Cybrludite said...

Sub, it looks correct from here. A bunch of Chinese scribble-scratch followed by your translation.

V the K said...

Looks OK to me, sub.

I think we're gonna have to print up some milk cartons with prough91 and SOTG on them, tho'

Submariner said...

cybr and V - thanks for the verification. Looks ok this morning again so it appears to be an issue with my home pc (probably something in my security settings or ISP screening).
How about that? Looks like I might have a home pc that's racially biggoted against the Chinese! heh heh

Have to agree about the milk carton ads. I'll kick in $1.37 towards the reward.

Alex Stockwell said...

How to get a guy's attention: Find two leather-skinned, bleach-blonde, painted whores, and have them make out.

WALSTIB said...

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