1. Suddenly, Earl's Spidey Sense was tingling.
2. "I have done as you have commanded, Lord. The walls of the temple are washed with the blood of the unbelievers. Also, I trimmed the hedges."
3. "Two jumbo jets in a mid-air collision. Damn, that debris is gonna wreck my azaleas."
4. "So, you're the angel Moroni? I always thought you'd be taller."
5. "Gee, Martha, that branch juct barely missed us. Martha? Martha?"
6. "And, lo, I beheld a white horse, and on him was a smelly pirate hooker. And there went out a horse that was red, and on him was a chubby kid in a pumpkin T-shirt. And then I beheld a black horse, and on him was a porky, bald, Englishman, and in his hand held he a beagle, and a leather hood, and a dildo. And behold, a pale horse, and the name that sat upon him was Kobe, and, lo, he was open." --- Book of Captions, 771:6
7. "No one believes you're really gonna jump off the roof, Billy. They say you're too much of a p*ssy and a chikensh*t. Prove 'em wrong, Billy. Prove 'em wrong!"
8. "That's an excellent point, Lord. Why do I clothe myself when the Backyard of Eden provides all that I need."
9. KA-BOOM! "Damn, there goes the meth lab."
10. "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."
11. "Surrender... Dorothy?"
Best of T. Harris
As Bill looked up and saw the humongous Milwaukee's Best Lite can about to crush out his existence, he had a split second to regret not spending this Sunday watching the NASCAR race with the boys.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Din't you say, Bring me a shrubbery?"
"Dang, I liked that cat too."
Best of jeff
Ooooh, George that looks like it hurt - but if we put it on ice they can sew it back on just like that Bobbit feller!
Best of The Man
Slingblade 2 will probably go straight to video.
Best of Chevy Rose
"Bruce, I'm thinkin' you'se on the wrong end of that limb to be cuttin'."
"BETTY!, you'd better phone Edison Electric, and EMS. Bruce done locked up my new chainsaw on what I thought was a vine on this here old tree....Boy! Is he a sparkin'."
Best of Cybrludite
More of the Salt Lake City RHPS cast. It's Riff-Raff!
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Larry and Earl proved just what two men motivated by a 12-pack of beer can accomplish with simply a single lawn chair, four weather balloons, and a tank full of helium.
Arkansas garden gnome.
Best of Submariner
Oh ennui, why won't you >CCCRRRACK!< Thump!
It's raining men! Oh crap!, it's raining men!
Americana from the usual place with the usual disclaimers and the usual fair use.