Monday, February 20, 2006

It Doesn't Get Much More Surreal Than This

1. Budweiser Light Presents "Real Men of Genius," Saluting you, Mr. Sailor-Suited-Accordion-Player

2. If you were in Amsterdam, and you were totally baked, and you walked by this scene, would that automatically trigger a psychotic episode.

3. Mrs. Frank pooh-poohed the idea that this episode would have any effect on young Barney's social development.

4. After emerging from the Hellmouth and finding only an accordion-playing midget and an underage prostitute, the black demon shook his head and sadly returned to the nether realm.

5. He knew Ming Lee was a long shot for conversion, but Joseph Young was nothing if not the most dedicated Mormon Missionary of all time.

6. Ang Lee makes a sailor movie.

7. Korn's most disturbing album cover ever!

8. "Men Who Lose Every Shred of Self-Respect After Being Dumped," Next on Oprah.

9. "How much is that harlot in window..."

10. "Is Weird Al gonna have to choke a bitch?"

Best of The Man
Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan like to show Andrew how they met in the streets of Paris after WWII.

Johnny Weir finds that failed male figure skaters have few prospects outside of the rink.

Best of David Simon
"I never know what my movies are about either," said David Lynch after filming this scene from his latest flick.

Best of T. Harris
Gunther gamely attempts to snag a freebie by serenading the local working girls with a rousing rendition of "Blow the Man Down."

Best of Rodney Dill
"... but in heaven they hand out harps."

Best of Divine Miss M
The hooker with the revolving door really started raking in the big bucks after she started paying the accordionist to stand closer to her competitor's door.

Best of catbat
Whores can't resist the siren lure of the polka.

Best of Submariner
Yesterday it was bagpipes, today a f'n accordian? Leave me alone!

But enough Kanye West; anyone have a favorite hymn? anyone? anyone?

I said "It would be romantic if you provided me a candle-lit dinner at dusk on the rooftop while a violinist played classical etudes."
Somehow, I don't a cold egg McMuffin at dawn on the sidewalk accompanied by an accordianist with a 'tude is gonna get you any, Skippy.

Best of The paperboy
In this next slide, the subject expresses his repressed masterbatorial sexual fantasies by "playing the hand organ," while disregarding an available female who beckons from a nearby window.

Ferdinand was obsessed with wearing his sailor outfit and playing with his squeezebox in spite of Rachel's exhibitionist attempts to win his affections.

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
Let's see: a gay sailor with an accordion, a bikini-clad Asian hooker, and a demon returning to the bowels of Hell? Looks like Mardi Gras in the French Quarter is back to normal!

You guys are totally slipping. I hand you a 'smelly pirate hooker' opportunity on a silver platter and no one takes it? I'm a sad panda - V

(AssPress Photo/Evert Elzinga)

23 comments:

The Man said...

Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan like to show Andrew how they met in the streets of Paris after WWII.

The Man said...

Johnny Weir finds that failed male figure skaters have few prospects outside of the rink.

David Simon said...

"I never know what my movies are about either," said David Lynch after filming this scene from his latest flick.

David Simon said...

"You're wasting your time, Mia. The men's figure skating competition ended last night. I'm the only one who's going to get any action today."

T. Harris said...

Gunther gamely attempts to snag a freebie by serenading the local working girls with a rousing rendition of "Blow the Man Down."

Rodney Dill said...

"... but in heaven they hand out harps."

Jonathan H said...

Tom turned to street performing to pay his ever mounting prostitute bills. Unfortunately, he choose a bad place to perform and was quickly found by the pimp. This photo was taken seconds before the pimp found him. Afterwards Tom was never the same.

MP Martin said...

"Do you know the way to San Jose?
I think I'm turning gay,
I've been in Amsterdam too long."

divine miss M said...

The hooker with the revolving door really started raking in the big bucks after she started paying the accordionist to stand closer to her competitor's door.

Rodney Dill said...

Strobe lights beam create dreams
walls move minds to do
on a warm San Francisco night
...♫
--the Animals

catbat said...

whores can't resist the siren lure of the polka.

Rodney Dill said...

Where Michael Jackson can walk down the street unnoticed.

Submariner said...

What shall we do with the drunken sailor, ear-ly in the morning?

Submariner said...

Yesterday it was bagpipes, today a f'n accordian? Leave me alone!

andthenblammo! said...

"Zo zen, ziss Deek Cheney zays, 'You have deestracted me into shooting someone! Now I know why nobodee takes a Frenchman hunting!' Zo now I am zee ambassador to Amsterdam, ho ho ho!"

Submariner said...

But enough Kanye West; anyone have a favorite hymn?
anyone?
anyone?

Submariner said...

♪When, the, moon hit's your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!♪
Don't just stand there in your bikini like a manikin, join in!

Submariner said...

I said "It would be romantic if you provided me a candle-lit dinner at dusk on the rooftop while a violinist played classical etudes."
Somehow, I don't a cold egg McMuffin at dawn on the sidewalk accompanied by an accordianist with a 'tude is gonna get you any, Skippy.

MP Martin said...

In this next slide, the subject expresses his repressed masterbatorial sexual fantasies by "playing the hand organ," while disregarding an available female who beckons from a nearby window.

MP Martin said...

Ferdinand was obsessed with wearing his sailor outfit and playing with his squeezebox in spite of Rachel's exhibitionist attempts to win his affections.

Jonathan said...

Let's see: a gay sailor with an accordion, a bikini-clad Asian hooker, and a demon returning to the bowels of Hell? Looks like another typical Mardi Gras in the French Quarter!

Attmay said...

This guy's idea of a full day was mugging both Donald Duck AND Lawrence Welk.

Alex Stockwell said...

"E-G-D-A-Damn this is hard!"