Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Eva Braun Barbie Sold Separately

1. Now, this is a cry for help if I ever saw one.

2. "I said they're not dolls, they're action figures. Screw you guys, I'm going home."

3. Ken and his new friend, Blaine, discuss whether the safety word should be "Oberammergaueralpenkräuterdelikatessenfrühstückskäse" or "Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitaenskajuetenschluesselloch."

4. As many of us suspected, Pat Buchanan did, in fact, play with dolls as a child.

5. The botox injections have really taken their toll on Kerry and Pelosi.

6. "Damm, Prince Harry, ich wünsche daß ich konnte dich quitten."

7. Gallant raises his glass and toasts the Fatherland. Goofus makes crude jokes about gay cowboy movies.

8. You know you're jaded when your search for internet kink leads you to this.

9. You know what they say, the difference between a straight Nazi and a gay Nazi is four shots of Jagermeister.

10. "Happy Valentine's Day, Klaus. Are you ready for the Battle of My Bulge." "Ach, more like two minutes of blitzkrieg followed by all quiet on the western front."

Best of Jonathan H
"Dear Ken and Blaine,
Last night with both of you was bliss. I fear my orgasm has left me a cripple. I don't how how I shall ever get back to work..
I love both of you madly,- Adolf."

Best of Cybrludite
Five minutes after this was posted, France surrendered. (Again)

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Hogan's Heroes: Klink Goes Brokeback"

Best of Submariner
Klaus! Is that the Iron Cross in your lederhosen, or are you just happy to see me?

Nothin' nothin' Just kicking back, havin' a Reisling, plannin' a blitzkrieg. You?

"F Troop" An Ed Wood remake.

Best of Divine miss M
Das ist Wilhelm Fitzjurgen and Jurgen Fitzwilhelm!

Best of David Simon
"Hurry up and down that champagne, Klaus. We were supposed to meet Dieter and Hans at the leather bar an hour ago."

Ziegfried, get your bloody jackboot off Helga's new chair. Have you no manners?"

Best of Rodney Dill
The Klaus Barbie Collection

Best of Van Helsing
Nice to know the Prussian Blue kids have toys to play with.


Original source here. Hat tip to Zorkmidden at Discarded Lies.

31 comments:

Jonathan H said...

ORA (I changed the names of course)
"Dear Ken and Blaine,
Last night with both of you was bliss. I fear my orgasm has left me a cripple. I don't how how I shall ever get back to work..
I love both of you madly,
Adolf."

Cybrludite said...

Five minutes after this was posted, France surrendered. (Again)

Cybrludite said...

Hmmn, Deli-type breakfast with herbed cheese or the widow of a Danube Steamship Company captain? The important question here, Blaine, is how I can say either with a ball-gag in my mouth.

Jonathan said...

"Hogan's Heroes: Klink Goes Brokeback"

V the K said...

Looking over the last three posts, I seem to have inadvertantly stumbled into a couple's theme, just in time for Valentine's Day. It wasn't deliberate, but now I have to check the stockpile and see if I can keep it going.

Submariner said...

Imitierten Nazis emulieren hat gebrochen hinteren berg in Paris Café.

Submariner said...

Klaus! Is that the Iron Cross in your lederhosen, or are you just happy to see me?

Submariner said...

What are you staring at, schweingesicht?

divine miss M said...

Das ist Wilhelm Fitzjurgen and Jurgen Fitzwilhelm!

divine miss M said...

Gene loves Jezebel and their Fatherland.

Submariner said...

C'mon, Heinie - let's play "Operation Overlord;" you attack my Guadalcanal and re-enact the Bombing of Dresden?

Submariner said...

Nothin' nothin' Just kicking back, havin' a Reisling, plannin' a blitzkrieg. You?

David Simon said...

"Hurry up and down that champagne, Klaus. We were supposed to meet Dieter and Hans at the leather bar an hour ago."

David Simon said...

Ziegfried, get your bloody jackboot off Helga's new chair. Have you no manners?"

Submariner said...

Here, Dieter and Klaus are shown relaxing in the Heinrich Himler cafe; just one of many specialty themed Blue Oyster "meeting rooms" available for your pleasure (at a slight charge).

David Simon said...

"Shall we dance?"

"Oh Wilhelm, I'd goosestep with you anytime."

Rodney Dill said...

the Klaus Barbie Collection

David Simon said...

It turned ugly at the Bent cast party last night when Ian McKellan got a little too "method" with one of the extras.

Jonathan H said...

The Ken doll was replace with these in Lamb and Lynx Gaede's Barbie collection.

The Man said...

Brokeback Nazi, a new film by Ang Lee.

The Man said...

Andew Sullivan's family tree during the 1930's and 40's looks something like this.

Whoopsie-Daisey said...

Jesse Jackson was offended; "Where are all the people of color? Where are the gays? Where are those of non-Arian hue? Wher.... gurgle"
>Crack!< >Crack!< >Crack!<

Van Helsing said...

Nice to know the Prussian Blue kids have toys to play with.

Submariner said...

"F Troop"
An Ed Wood remake.

Cybrludite said...

Ok, Rodney Dill wins.

Submariner said...

White House press corpse impression of Dick Cheney's recreational activities.

and yes, I spelled it that way intentionally...

Cybrludite said...

Ok, Rodney Dill wins.

Cybrludite said...

Sorry for the double (or more) posting. The comments are wonky tonight.

T. Harris said...

"A toast to the Fuer.... Hold it, Hans you IDIOT! Are you trying to get us sent to the Eastern Front? Mein Gott, open that bottle and pour, SCHNELL."

Rodney Dill said...

cybrludite, thanks for the endorsement, I'm surprised noone else remembered the "Barbie Museum" from the Movie RAT RACE, at least that's what made me think of it.

Submariner said...

John F'n Kerry and John "Silkie Pony" Edwards take a new tact in preparing for the '08 campaign trail.