Monday, February 13, 2006

Ebony and a Very Thin Twig of Ivory

1. Guess who's coming to throw up dinner.

2. Al Sharpton's seldom-seen wife greets visitors to his home in Stepford.

3. An anorexic blond and a pimp walk into a bar... stop me if you've heard this one before.

4. Divided by politics and race... united by their love for the music of John Tesh.

5. "Damn, Ann. I never seen anybody able to cut and eat an individual molecule of chicken and greens."

6. "Who cares if they won't seat us, Al. I wouldn't be caught dead eating at Denny's anyway."

7. "You brought me here to dump me, didn't you, Al? If you think I won't cause a scene just because it's a public place, think again."

8. "Tom Wolfe called, he wants his suit back."

9. "This is not my beautiful House. This is not my beautiful wife. My god . . . what have I done?"

10. The sight of two people with completely black auras totally freaked out Dionne Warwick.

Best of Rodney
Sharpton: "Screw Nagin, let's start our own chocolate and vanilla twist city, baby."

The correct answer for this round of charades is: "10"

Best of Submariner
Hmmmmmmmm; usually it's the dude that sings "I Like Big Butts..."

Al mused; "If Jesse would just get on your right, we'd have a double-stuffed oreo ad..."

Best of Drew
One of these men is not like the other... one of these men are not the same.

Theoretically, Ann... I could consume six of you before I would feel "full".

Best of David Simon
In this undated photograph, Al Sharpton is seen with cross-dressing prostitue CiCi Lame. "I swear, I didn't know," Sharpton told reporters after posting bail.

Right wing polemicist Ann Coulter and former Democrat presidential hopeful Al Sharpton announce their engagement at Le Bernardin. "If you're looking for Carville and Matalin, try the unemployment line," quipped Coulter.

"Over here, officer. This is the guy who stole my purse."

"My It's Just Lunch counselor is dead meat."

Best of Jonathan H
"That's right, I DO take my men like I take my coffee; black." (And Sharpton takes his women likes he takes his coffee, cold and bitter - V)

Al suddenly had a flashback to the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind when that tall, skinny alien stepped off the mothership.

Best of jeff
"I said ragheads, not greaseheads!"

Best of Robert
Ann: Liberal traitor!
Al: Facist Bitch!
Ann: Make love to me right now!

Ann Coulter put this on her website, so she must have known this was coming. Hat tip to Submariner.

27 comments:

Rodney said...

Sharpton: "Screw Nagin, let's start our own chocolate and vanilla twist city, baby."

Rodney said...

The war against Islam makes for strange bedfellows.

Rodney said...

The correct answer for this round of charades is: "10"

T. Harris said...

Anne: "Al, if you don't get your grimy little paw off my ass right now, I'm gonna take my right thumb and ram it plum through your left eyeball."

Al: "Whoa now, hold on there, baby. You gotta be shittin' me. What ass?"

Submariner said...

No Al, "Politics makes strange bedfellows" is just an expression...

Submariner said...

Thanks Anne, if THIS doesn't get rid of the Shehag, ain't nothin' will!

Submariner said...

Hmmmmmmmm;
usually it's the dude that sings "I Like Big Butts..."

Submariner said...

Anne appears to have misunderstood when Sean Hannity told her he'd "...like to get her @$$ on the show again soon..."

Submariner said...

Al mused; "If Jesse would just get on your right, we'd have a double-stuffed oreo ad..."

Submariner said...

What? You're not Mo Dowd? Doesn't really matter, all you white girls look alike anyways...

Submariner said...

Yeah, yeah; "I speak jive..." Very funny. What the DNC needs is a paid consultant who knows how to speak American!

Submariner said...

WaPo Poll Question of the Week:
"When standing next to each other at a Washington DC Gala, does Al make Anne look more anorexic, or does Anne make All look more obese?"

Submariner said...

Anne's thought bubble:
Is that skunk-weed or Sharpton's cologne?

Submariner said...

Al's thought bubble:
Man I could go for a tuna sandwich and a salad with a light vinagrette...

Drew said...

Where is Cheney's shotgun when you need it?

Drew said...

One of these men is not like the other... one of these men are not the same.

Drew said...

Theoretically, Ann... I could consume six of you before I would feel "full".

David Simon said...

In this undated photograph, Al Sharpton is seen with cross-dressing prostitue CiCi Lame. "I swear, I didn't know," Sharpton told reporters after posting bail.

David Simon said...

Right wing polemicist Ann Coulter and former Democrat presidential hopeful Al Sharpton announce their engagement at Le Bernardin. "If you're looking for Carville and Matalin, try the unemployment line," quipped Coulter.

David Simon said...

"Over here, officer. This is the guy who stole my purse."

David Simon said...

"My It's Just Lunch counselor is dead meat."

Jonathan H said...

Coulter was reported to have said shortly after the picture was taken,
"That's right, I DO take my men like I take my coffee; black."

Jonathan H said...

Al suddenly had a flashback to the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind when that tall, skinny alien stepped off the mothership.

jeff said...

"I said ragheads, not greaseheads!"

Submariner said...

Sorry Anne, but no; I'd break you...

Robert said...

Ann: Liberal traitor!
Al: Facist Bitch!

Ann: Make love to me right now!

Submariner said...

Well, Anne, I began baiting hooks on cane poles around ponds in northern Alabama. I was good, and people noticed. With my family's encouragement, I eventually made my way to the charter boats on the Gulf Coast where I earned the rank of Master Baiter...