1. Andrew Sullivan and Barney Frank may be old worn out trolls now, but, man they looked fabulous at their senior prom.
2. "Hello Danny. Come and play with us. Come and play with us, Danny. Forever... and ever... and ever."
3. Goofus purges in the hallway. Gallant lifts the train of her gown to avoid soiling it with sick.
4. "Wooo-EEEE. You heifers shure purtied yerselfs up fer the NASCAR time trials."
5. They've got Bette Davis Eyes... if Bette Davis had been a creeped out goth chick, I mean.
6. "Where did we get these lovely gowns? Johnny Weir had a yard sale."
7. Fifty bucks says the contents of that handbag are a bottle of diet pills, a bottle of prescription horse tranq, and a platinum Visa card with white powder on one edge.
8. The Betty Ford Center's Winter Formal was always a festive occasion.
9. Interesting. Most people offered the choice of appearing in 'Caption This' or making doggie p0rn choose the doggie p0rn.
10. "Mr Polanski says you're too old, Mr Jackson says you're too old and the wrong sex, but Ms O'Donnell and Ms DeGeneres are willing to make you an offer."
Best of Rodney Dill
David Spade: "Too Easy... next."
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
Upon hearing that the Olsen twins were legal, Scott Ritter turned off the TV and cried himself to sleep.
Best of Cybrludite
Of course, Scott Ritter claims to have banged them both before they were famous...
By "the exact date they became legal", do you mean nation-wide or state-by-state?
Best of T. Harris
Keeping a straight face while utilizing the new Christian Dior line of the Easy-Lift Fart Diffuser Gown is absolutely essential.
Best of David Simon
It'll cost $500 for us to keep lifting, Mr. Clinton. $1,000 for the full cigar.
Best of Submariner
Woody Allen and Jerry Seinfeld couldn't hide their dissapointment as their "over the hill" Oscar dates entered...
Barnabus will be along presently; shortly after nightfall I would suspect.
Admit it, you sick twisted freak, you knew the exact date the Olsen Twins became "legal." Didn't you? Didn't you? Hat Tip: fizzix/Jules