Friday, February 10, 2006
1. Uber-ORA --- "All right, enough you guys. Let's just say if Curtiss were on the island, Sayid would own his ass, and if Sayid were a terrorist, Curtiss would make him his bitch. Now, stop slapping each other and just eat some cake and ice cream."
2. "I must, I must, I must increase my bust ... otherwise, I'll never be the Thursday babe."
3. "Now, now, Rosie and Ellen. No need to fight. There's plenty of me to go around."
4. "When you're a jet, you're a jet all the way..."
5. "Chillax ho's! Don't be damagin' Mack Daddy's property, or he gun have to go upside some bitches' heads."
6. "Back off, bitches! Gary Glitter is mine!"
7. "Dios Mio! What happened to your left hand, chiquita? You reach into a fryalator or something?"
8. "Hey! Guys! Stop for a minute! I'm having a hallucination that Emmanuel Lewis is giving me a direct brain massage. Does this mean I'm tripping?"
9. "All right! You're happy and you know it. Now, shut the hell up!"
10. "Hey! No activating Wonder Twin Powers at my birthday unless you're going to take the shape of presents."
Best of CJ
But soon, the girls stopped fighting and slit each other's foreheads open with cake knives and it was the best Ashura ever!
Best of T. Harris
"Step back, step back.......BOX!"
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Ever since the Rachel Corrie incident, "patty-cake" was frowned upon in the village.
"Patty-cake, patty-cake, C-4 man,
Make me a belt just as fast as you can.
Best of David Simon
No, I don't feel the baby kicking.
Why am I so angry and bitter? Mom lets you get your hair done at Andrew Sullivan Coiffure. How would you like it if you had to walk around with this bowl cut?
Best of Rufus Leaking
Stop! The lights come on the lights go off - I can't take it any more!
Best of Van Helsing
"Stop it, Fatima! Kids with leprosy should never play pattycake! You want that hand to fall off?"
Best of Rufus Leaking
Hey! Hey! Not with the left hand! Do you know where that's been?
Stop applauding! Its NOT a good thing to be one of the 72 Virgins!
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Stop celebrating, dammit! That was MY BROTHER who blew up the Zionist day care center!"
"No, no, no! It is NOT good news that Scott Ritter has arrived, you idiots! Run, before that perv approaches with the Charms blowpop again!"
Best of Rodney Dill
"There is no cake/There is no ice cream/Happy Birthday!"
Best of Occasional Reader
The girls' high-fiving over being chosen as finalists in "The Prophet's Favorite Bride Competition" was abruptly interrupted by Aisha.
Best of sonicfrog
Oprah's successor in training.
From the Washington Post Best of Ought-Five collection of pictures of people they think are better than you. Fair Use! Standard disclaimer always applies.