Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Bookend to Condi and the Angry Inch

1. "And then Hillary turned around and zipped up, but not before I got a pretty good look at it."

2. Howard Dean's weekly DNC sex-ed lectures were known for his clever use of visual aids.

3. The AARP prepared for Howard's speech by arranging a festive display of inflated colostomy bags.

4. The midget accordion player never showed, so Howard Dean was reduced to using Jay Leno's recycled Vi@gr@ jokes.

5. I count four gasbags on the stage there.

6. "Pat Robertson has far too much influence in Republican politics. There's simply no excuse when a nutjob who represents the most extreme wing of his party and who lost every presidential primary has that much influence over a political party."

7. With Democrat coffers nearing zero, Howard Dean resorts to selling AmWay to finance the 2006 elections.

8. "I'm crushing your heads, Mini-Me and Wee-Man."

9. "And that is why true revolution can only be achieved when the decadent bourgeoisie is overthrown and workers control the means of production."

10. "Sir, one more outburst from you and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!"

Best of Rodney Dill
Isn't placing empty thought balloons next to Howard Dean redundant?

Best of Divine Miss M
♫ Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? ♫

Best of The Man
The DNC realized that having Howard Dean suck in some helium during his speeches really took the edge off.

Best of David Simon
"I only let this much squeak out of my ass, and I still cleared the room. Taco Bell's bean burritos are something else."

"After I pick it, I like to roll it between my thumb and forefinger."

Best of Van Helsing
Dr. Demento was considerate enough to show how much was left of his fuse, so that women and children could be gotten to safety.

Best of jbinnout
...and just for clarification, Mr. Sullivan, I'm talking girth.

Best of Submariner
I don't know Barney, Mike only had it in me that far. Does that count as "penetration?"
I have to go "pinch a loaf" folks, but I'll be back in about 20 minutes so just keep donating. Anybody got a copy of the Times?

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"I was THIS close to one-upping Mondale's one-state showing in the '84 election!"

Dean thinks to himself: "I bet I can grab one of those hors d'oeuvres while that hotel staff guy walks by!"

Best of Mr. Right
"Thank you for noticing my relatively calm demeanor this evening... in answer to your question, this is the approximate size of the tranquilizer I used before taking the stage, and yes, it was a suppository!"

I had other pictures but moved this one, which I found through Sondrak the K, to the head of the queue.

27 comments:

Cybrludite said...

The truth hurts, doesn't it, Deano?

Cybrludite said...

How close am I to losing my position at the DNC?

Submariner said...

Well, medically speaking (you did know I was a doctor, didn't you?), this small wouldn't be called a "pudendum." We would only call it a pud as in "pulling your..." Why do you ask, Mr. Gregory?

Submariner said...

The Presidency? Missed it by THAT much!

V - I bow in homage over your #s 5 and 6.

Submariner said...

No problem, John. After she's had that many grapes, you can just pick her up using a thumb and index finger and carry her back to the mansion.

Rodney Dill said...

Isn't placing empty thought balloons next to Howard Dean redundant?

divine miss M said...

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?

T. Harris said...

"The next little peckerwood that pops a balloon behind my back is gonna wish he was this tall! 'Cause if I find the SOB, I'm gonna RIP HIS FRIGGIN' HEAD OFF AND SHIT DOWN HIS NECK. ARRGHHH.........

The Man said...

The DNC realized that having Howard Dean suck in some helium during his speeches really took the edge off.

David Simon said...

"I only let this much squeak out of my ass, and I still cleared the room. Taco Bell's bean burritos are something else."

David Simon said...

"I'm a little teapot short and stout."

David Simon said...

"After I pick it, I like to roll it between my thumb and forefinger."

David Simon said...

Howard Dean tries to perform y-m-c-a at a DNC karaoke fundraiser.

Van Helsing said...

Dr. Demento was considerate enough to show how much was left of his fuse, so that women and children could be gotten to safety.

jbinnout said...

...and just for clarification, Mr. Sullivan, I'm talking girth.

Submariner said...

I don't know Barney, Mike only had it in me that far. Does that count as "penetration?"

Submariner said...

How big a "contribution" do I need to make your special interest cause a DNC party plank in 2008?

Jonathan said...

"I was THIS close to one-upping Mondale's one-state showing in the '84 election!"

Jonathan said...

"The 'Vermont' neck pinch is NOT the same as Spock's 'Vulcan' neck pinch, people!"

Jonathan said...

Dean thinks to himself: "I bet I can grab one of those hors d'oeuvres while that hotel staff guy walks by!"

Jonathan said...

"Hehe! And Clinton said I wouldn't pinch Boxer's tush! This will be the easiest $2 bet I ever won!"

Submariner said...

I have to go "pinch a loaf" folks, but I'll be back in about 20 minutes so just keep donating. Anybody got a copy of the Times?

Submariner said...

Patty Murray showed me; you just grab the Spotted Owl's neck like this, then just sort of squeeze and snap your wrist forward at the same time. They're especially good grilled after marinating in Italian dressing...

MP Martin said...

Howard's known for his honesty in his fish stories more than in his politics.

sondrak said...

I actually took that pic Monday when I went to see him speak to the College Dems at Saint Martin's college here in Lacey:)

Mr. Right said...

"Thank you for noticing my relatively calm demeanor this evening... in answer to your question, this is the approximate size of the tranquilizer I used before taking the stage, and yes, it was a suppository!"

Alex Stockwell said...

"Okay, so if we lose this time, it's time for a bloody coup. Agreed?"