1. "It's not you, John. It's me. I hope we can still be friends."
2. "C'mon, John. We're both liberal Democrats. Inter-racial, inter-generational homo-eroticism is just our way of saying 'Good morning.' So, let's get some orange juice."
3. "You bring the sheep, I'll bring the pudding."
4. "Hillary says she needs more African-American eulogy practice. Would you be willing to take a bullet, Senator Obama?"
5. "Don't believe a word Sullivan says. I kick ass in the sack."
6. "She's a runaway. She has no family who'll even miss her. Every freshman senator has to make a snuff film for his iniitiation. Hell, Hillary has a whole DVD library... with star ratings."
7. "It's an honor to meet you. And I agree, America sucks. Would you sing 'Banana Boat' for us?"
8. "They say that cat McCain's a bad mutha..." "Shut yo, mouth." "But, I'm talking about McCain." "And I can dig it."
9. "Hey, Barack, can I have my nipple clamps back?"
10. "Well, before you get too mad at Senator Byrd for doing that 'The New Senator's a what?' bit every morning, you have to take into account how hopelessly senile he is."
Best of David Simon
Yep, that's the most disgusting foot odor I've ever smelled. Boxer will leave you alone, guaranteed.
Just so we have this straight, I'm only supporting you because I don't feel like watching Heche and Degenerate maul each other at another inauguration.
Best of jeff
"So John, being that I'm a bit young for all that, was it the Hanoi Hilton that screwed you up, or Hanoi Jane?"
Best of andthenblammo!
"Hey, you're not selling NoWay products, are you?"
Best of Cybrludite
You take the white milk and the dark chocholate and you get a pair of pandering assholes...
Best of Submariner
Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?
"That white shirt really sets off your mocha skin, Barak."
"Thanks John; that blue shirt perfectly matches your eyes."
"Ammenities complete. Let's go screw with Kennedy..."
Michael Bolton passes the virus disk to Samir Nagheenanajar...
Best of Robert
I think, my apprentice, that you are ready to take your final step into the power of the Dark Side of the Force
Fairly used. They're public figures, so they're fair game. We don't need no stinkin' copyrights. But, it came from the Chicago Tribune Newsblogs.