Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Another Valentine's Day Couple

1. "It's not you, John. It's me. I hope we can still be friends."

2. "C'mon, John. We're both liberal Democrats. Inter-racial, inter-generational homo-eroticism is just our way of saying 'Good morning.' So, let's get some orange juice."

3. "You bring the sheep, I'll bring the pudding."

4. "Hillary says she needs more African-American eulogy practice. Would you be willing to take a bullet, Senator Obama?"

5. "Don't believe a word Sullivan says. I kick ass in the sack."

6. "She's a runaway. She has no family who'll even miss her. Every freshman senator has to make a snuff film for his iniitiation. Hell, Hillary has a whole DVD library... with star ratings."

7. "It's an honor to meet you. And I agree, America sucks. Would you sing 'Banana Boat' for us?"

8. "They say that cat McCain's a bad mutha..." "Shut yo, mouth." "But, I'm talking about McCain." "And I can dig it."

9. "Hey, Barack, can I have my nipple clamps back?"

10. "Well, before you get too mad at Senator Byrd for doing that 'The New Senator's a what?' bit every morning, you have to take into account how hopelessly senile he is."

Best of David Simon
Yep, that's the most disgusting foot odor I've ever smelled. Boxer will leave you alone, guaranteed.

Just so we have this straight, I'm only supporting you because I don't feel like watching Heche and Degenerate maul each other at another inauguration.

Best of jeff
"So John, being that I'm a bit young for all that, was it the Hanoi Hilton that screwed you up, or Hanoi Jane?"
"Yes."

Best of andthenblammo!
"Hey, you're not selling NoWay products, are you?"

Best of Cybrludite
You take the white milk and the dark chocholate and you get a pair of pandering assholes...

Best of Submariner
Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?

"That white shirt really sets off your mocha skin, Barak."
"Thanks John; that blue shirt perfectly matches your eyes."
"Ammenities complete. Let's go screw with Kennedy..."

Michael Bolton passes the virus disk to Samir Nagheenanajar...

Best of Robert
I think, my apprentice, that you are ready to take your final step into the power of the Dark Side of the Force

Fairly used. They're public figures, so they're fair game. We don't need no stinkin' copyrights. But, it came from the Chicago Tribune Newsblogs.

20 comments:

Submariner said...

Uh, John? What will it take for you to tighten up on the border? Latino's are making my kind somewhat unimportant in the voting demographics...

Submariner said...

One Clinton short of an "Odd Squad."

Submariner said...

'Ow to speak Awstraylyan:
Panderin'

David Simon said...

Yep, it stinks something fierce. Boxer will leave you alone, guaranteed.

David Simon said...

"Hey, wait a minute...what the hell...you know nothing about me Obama...okay, so I lift weights and I like Sondheim musicals...that doesn't mean...

Oh, you mean when I'm I going to let people know that I'm a closet Democrat. Okay, nevermind."

David Simon said...

Just so we have this straight, I'm only supporting you because I don't feel like watching Heche and Degenerate maul each other at another inauguration.

Rodney Dill said...

"No my names Obama, not Osama, so please remove that knife from my ribcage... common misunderstanding."

jeff said...

"You know John, for an old guy you've got a pretty good grip there."
"Thanks. Please let go of my hand now - it hasn't been the same since Hanoi."

jeff said...

"So John, being that I'm a bit young for all that, was it the Hanoi Hilton that screwed you up, or Hanoi Jane?"

"Yes."

andthenblammo! said...

ORA:

"Hey, you're not selling NoWay products, are you?"

Chevy Rose said...

"That worked pretty well...."Mister President"..Tehehe"

"It sure did..."Mister Vice-President"....HaHaHa"

Cybrludite said...

You take the white milk and the dark chocholate and you get a pair of pandering assholes...

Submariner said...

ORA:

Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?

Submariner said...

Word on the street is she like "dark meat" Osama, so would you please talk to the Shehag and try to talk her into keeping her hat in the ring? With a little luck, she may draw enough lefty votes to get Feinstein off both our backs.

Submariner said...

"That white shirt really sets off your mocha skin, Barak."
"Thanks John; that blue shirt perfectly matches your eyes."
"Ammenities complete. Let's go screw with Kennedy..."

Submariner said...

ORA:

Michael Bolton passes the virus disk to Samir Nagheenanajar...

T. Harris said...

"I know you ain't been around here as long as I have kid, but you don't have to dip your left index finger in purple ink every time you vote on a bill."

Submariner said...

Dammit John! Quit talking about the "giant damn anaconda in his pants" every time Pelosi comes around. I have enough problems with Boxer!

Robert said...

I think, my apprentice, that you are ready to take your final step into the power of the Dark Side of the Force

Jonathan said...

BARACK: "John, Teddy called you 'Mickey Rooney' at Happy Hour last night!"

JOHN: "Yeah? Well, he called you 'Osama' on the floor of the Senate, though."

BARACK: (pauses) "Damn, I got no comeback for that one!"