Why Bill Cheats

1. "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE SPECULATING ABOUT MY DAYDREAMS, MY SUBCONSCIOUS, AND MY SECRET LESBIAN FANTASIES."

2. Everybody's doin' a brand new dance now/C'mon baby do the
loco-motion..."

3. "Ein Volk! Ein Dyke!"

4. "The Republicans run the Congress like a plantation. And if any of you even think of voting for them, I swear to God I'll cut off your foot and sell your children."

5. "And as we all know, spying on Americans is wrong... unless they're conservative radio talkshow hosts, political opponents with FBI files, or bimbos your husband banged who need to shut the Hell up!"

6. "Hey, Rev, does your choir know anything by the Indigo Girls?"

7. "Senator Byrd! No! You put that cross out this very minute!"

8. For shame, Senator Clinton! Don't you know how many Smurf villages were firebombed to procure the pelts for that jacket?

9. "Hey, you, the hottie with the white hair and coat hangers. I'll be back to pick you up later."

10. "It's all right, everyone. Try to remain Calm. No sudden moves. Howard Dean is not usually dangerous unless something startles him."

Best of Submariner
So anyways, there I was on the plane and these two brothers started talking, but the stew couldn't understand them. Lucky thing I was there to interpret their jive...

A moment later, Hill whipped her head left and let fly, setting a new expectoratin' record by hitting the second tier balcony...

Harry Belafonte muttered, "If she doesn't shut up soon, even I am going to vote for a Republican!"

Best of Van Helsing
I'm a freak in heat/A dog without warning/My appetite is sex/Cuz, oh, me so horny... And I think you know what I'm talking about... Is Sheila Jackson Lee in the house?

Best of The Man
Some people say I am playing the race card. That's nothing but jive-talk, bitches. You know what I'm talking about.

Best of The Man
Ms. Clinton's aides told her that doing The Robot would probably not win over the crowd.

Best of sonicfrog
Domo arigato, Mrs. Roboto, domo...domo

Best of Shayne
"... and sometimes, after I eat some bran flakes, it sounds like this..."

Best of Rodney Dill
Hillary alienates even more New York voters by indicating that she is a Braves fan.

"But, Mr Wonka, I want to eat the blueberries."

Best of Mr. Right
"Um... excuse me, can I get some help up here? Someone put the red felt banner on this podium on backwards... the hammer and sickle are supposed to go in the front!"

"I like big butts and I can not lie/You other brothers can't deny/That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist/And a round thing in your face/You get sprung...

Stolen from Getaway Pundit.