1. "Considering I'm into my seventh month carrying your demon-spawn, I'd plan on buying about 6,000 boxes of Cartwheels if I were you."
2. "Okay, now that we've done the Menage-a-Girl-Scout fantasy, it's our turn. Put on the plushie bulldog suit."
3. "Oh, I don't know if I should, girls. You know what they say, a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!" Parents felt safe leaving their girls with Mr. Butterman, but only their girls.
4. "Real frackin' hilarious filling the prop-bag with dog-shite. I swear to God, I'm going to break into your homes and smash your freakin' skulls with an axe-handle."
5. "Yeah, that 'Do you have Oreos?' joke just gets funnier every year, Mr. Mayor. However, I think it lacks the ironic edge of my annual joke of pissing on your 'Thanks-a-lots.'"
6. "I never thought about it that way, but you are right. Our logo really is deeply lesbionic."
7. "Hurry up and take the damn picture! My contractions are starting!"
8. "Get out of my gawdamm light! Where are my gawdamm Pecan Sandies! I will scratch your gawdamm eyes out." Lindsey was well on her way to earning her 'Diva' merit badge.
9. "No, I was never in Girl Scouts, but I once ate a Brownie."
10. "Oh, sure, when you need to sell a few more boxes of Thin Mints and Peanut Butter Patties it's all giggles and flirtatious glances and 'who cares about restraining orders...'"
From the home of the shiny green suit.