Sunday, January 22, 2006

There's Something About Mikulski


1. "No, Senator, your line is 'I'm melting...melting. What a world!' Jebus, the Scarecrow isn't the only one who could use a gawdamm brain around here."

2. "I know that your powers of retention, are as wet as a warthog's backside / But thick as you are, pay attention! / My words are a matter of pride / It's clear from your vacant expression / The lights are not all on upstairs..." (O.R.A.)

3. "Oh, sure, Senator Mikulski, we'll definitely post this pic on a Thursday... in Hell!!!!!"

4. At last. A pic of one of Prough's real girlfriends.

5. "So, are you a ... mountin' lion?" "Forget it, Mikulski... not even if Humungous loaned you his face mask."

6. When Sen. Mikulski was invited to lead a Pride March, she expected something totally different.

7. "Mikulski, but let me explain. When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connnected in the great Circle of Life. You, by the way, smell like antelope crap."

8. "I'm sorry Mrs Mikulski, you're not qualified to work at KMart, and you'll have to return the smock."

9. "Usually, we pick the dumbest and weakest of the herd to cull, but Senator Boxer was getting botox."

10. After wandering into the Plushie Convention, Senator Mikulski got beaucoup compliments on her walrus costume.

Best of Divine Miss M
Lions and tigers and dingbats, oh, my!

Best of Mo K
Heavens to Murgatroyd! They promised me Barney Fwank! Exit, stage right.

Best of Catbat
Even the ruler of the island of misfit toys had to politely decline her rent application.

Best of Rodney Dill
Brokeback Mountain Lion

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Shouldn't she be somewhere telling someone to "go into the light" or "this house is clean" or something?

Mikulski unveils the new Democrat mascot... A clawless, toothless, pussy.

Aren't we short a Wardrobe?

Best of Submariner
"Why yes, I was sodomized by a cougar last night. But to really fill a void in my life, I'd like to experience a really big cat; if you know what I mean..."

"Oh, big deal, so the kid walked in on us. I'm sure it won't traumatize him, but just to be sure, I'll send him to herd sheep on Brokeback Mountain with those two cowboys. That should make a man out of him."

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"What a hairy, smelly, foul-breathed creature! Don't you agree, Mr. Lion?"

Best of Mr. Right
Only afterward did Leo the MGM Lion learn that in her case, the MGM stood for "Mikulski Goes Moo!"

Best of Cybrludite
"Great, I only can pick-up one TV channel, and they're showing some Sid & Marty Kroft crapfest from the '70s..." - Lileks' personal vision of Hell

...and this is your brain on drugs. Any questions?

I got this on a tip, but sometimes people who submit don't want me to give their names, but You Know Who You Are!

40 comments:

divine miss M said...

[In a clipped British accent] Why, the lion is male, of course; there's nothing queer about ol' Barbara!

divine miss M said...

Lions and tigers and dingbats, oh, my!

Prough91 said...

Like to touch my Pussy? (Prough91's first drunk submission)

The lion would lick his own ass, but yet the thought of licking her sickened him.

Three minutes after this picture was taken, V the K shot the lion for screwing with his girlfriend.
(That was for #4)

Mo K said...

Heavens to Murgatroyd! They promised me Barney Fwank! :-(
Exit, stage right.

catbat said...

even the ruler of the island of misfit toys had to politely decline her rent application.

Anonymous said...

Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Chappaquiddick), way over on the left, joins Sen. Barbara 'Li'l Oink' Mikulski (D-Munchkinville), also way left, in celebration of World Cluelessness Day . . .


And yep, I know who I are.

Yep, and I are Captain Canada! said...

Separated at birth?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Mikulski misheard the lions request for a damned job.

Son Of The Godfather said...

the Circle-jerk of Life

Son Of The Godfather said...

You DO know they sometimes eat their young, don't you?... Not sure about lions though.

Rodney Dill said...

Brokeback Mountain Lion

Son Of The Godfather said...

Shouldn't she be somewhere telling someone to "go into the light" or "this house is clean" or something?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Wherever there's a Democrat, you just know there'll be a lyin'... err... a lion.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Mikulski unveils the new Democrat mascott... A clawless, toothless, pussy.

Submariner said...

Kennedy, once the "Lion of the DNC" accompanies Mikulski as "arm candy." Whether this says worse things about him, her or the party is up for debate.

Submariner said...

With the help of "green screen technology," they would appear to be on the podium with FDR to show that party leadership had always endorsed her.

Submariner said...

Seconds later, Leo ripped off his plushie head and stalked off muttering something about "pride of the pride..."

Submariner said...

"Why yes, I was sodomized by a cougar last night. But to really fill a void in my life, I'd like to experience a really big cat; if you know what I mean..."

Submariner said...

Why?!? Because:
a) Pirates don't need that much ballast, and
b) Even a blind man would refuse to pay for your >shudder< "services."
But, hey! At least you got the "smelly" part right...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton reprise their roles as Vincent and Catherine in Beauty and the Beast: 2006

Son Of The Godfather said...

The Chronicles of Captionia:
I see the first two... But where's "The Wardrobe"?

heh

Submariner said...

V. - great pic on Fox sports that is captionable:
http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/pgStory?contentId=5268734&pageNumber=59

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sure, the cute lion is fun for all the kiddies... Too bad they don't realize yellow eyes are a sure sign of liver failure and almost certain death.

Submariner said...

V. - also some very captionable pics on an SI thread "In Case You Missed It." First one I found worthy is at http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/multimedia/photo_gallery/2006/01/20/gallery.missedit/index.6.html but make sure you check them all out - 3 or 4 that may work for you including a couple for Thursdays.

Mo K said...

"Ooo-ooo.. double vision!..."

Jonathan said...

"What a hairy, smelly, bad-breathed creature! Don't you agree, Mr. Lion?"

Van Helsing said...

In the morning he put his glasses on and gasped in horror to see that the woman he had brought home from the costume party the night before wasn't wearing a costume.

V the K said...

Thanks Sub, I'll check it out.

Submariner said...

shamelessy stolen from V. in the next pic:

"Oh, big deal, so the kid walked in on us. I'm sure it won't traumatize him, but just to be sure, I'll send him to herd sheep on Brokeback Mountain with those two cowboys. That should make a man out of him."

Submariner said...

Y'know, Babs? I got this kid to bike in a huge doobie, and I still can't bring myself to "cat around" with you...

Mr. Right said...

Cousin Itt takes Kitty Kat out for his daily walk.

Mr. Right said...

On a very special Daktari, Sen. Mikulski comes to the rescue as she fits Clarence the Cross-Eyed Lion with a pair of long-awaited glasses! (ORA)

Mr. Right said...

Only afterward did Leo the MGM Lion learn that in her case, the MGM stood for "Mikulski Goes Moo!"

Submariner said...

Moments later the fund raiser was disrupted when Barfy jap-slapped Babs, saying "Go find your own pussy, dike!"

Robert said...

Isn't that Benny Hill?

Cybrludite said...

Number 23 in "Scenes from Hillary's Subconcience"!

Cybrludite said...

"Great, I only can pick-up one TV channel, and they're showing some Sid & Marty Kroft crapfest from the '70s..." - Lileks' personal vision of Hell

Cybrludite said...

...and this is your brain on drugs. Any questions?

Cybrludite said...

The sad thing is that Prough's girlfriend is the one in the fur-suit. It's always somewhat creepy when furries manage to hook up.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Can't leave it at a "niner":
If they ok gay marriage, next you'll have people marrying animals...