Thursday, January 19, 2006

Smelly Pirate Hookers Run Amok In Tampa

1. Playmateys

2. Now we know why the song is "Yo-Ho-Ho, and a bottle of rum."

3. "Thar she blows! Nope, she's done."

4. "The professor would rather look at a sea turtle than Ginger and Mary Ann's hooters? FAG!"

5. "In an emergency, Ginger's diaphragm doubles as a life preserver."

6. "My god! It's full of hookers."

7. "It's not a big ship, but we've always got room for more seaman."

8. "No, the Genghis Khan fantasy suite is over there, but feel free to ravish us on your way out."

9. "Check out the Gay p0rn cruise. They're shooting The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald and the Gerald Fitzedmund."

10. "I'm gonna take these SPH's down below and shove my mast into their poopdecks. I guess you could call me a rear admiral..."

Best of Submariner
Chiang, run Dr. Phil off that plank.

Thank goodness! Here comes the dwarf with the camel. We should be able to begin filming momentarily...

Crap. A parade of spermies be blocking this route.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!"

I had your site blogrolled for a while, but I'm taking you off because I don't appreciate your trying to squeeze humor out of offensive stereotypes about coolies, fancy-boys, and whores.

"Over there... Be that a bloated senator in an Oldsmobile?"

"There!... The fabled Island of Siliconia!"

Best of The Man
1539 - Hernando De Soto explored Florida and her friend Ambrosia.

Best of Van Helsing
"Where? All I see is a couple of sea ho's!"

Best of sonicfrog
What's this? The Poison Reunion tour???

Best of Rodney Dill
"Thar she blows, the Great White Whale" "Naw thats just Ted Kennedy farting in the wading pool."

Best of Prough91
(Stealing my own) You must be this tall to ride the pirate hooker.

Best of Cybrludite
What double entendres in the song Cardiff Rose?

Best of Cybrludite
"I am the very model of a trendy faux bisexual/I dress in black to show that I'm a tortured intellectual/My piercings have gone septic but at least I'm not respectable/I think that labels stink and that Nutella is delectable ..."

Best of Rufus Leaking
Pinafore! Pinafore! What DID I sign up for?


Tampa Bay Times on a tip from the Divine Miss M

52 comments:

Submariner said...

Do you know the way to Santa Fe?

Submariner said...

Chiang, run Dr. Phil off that plank.

Submariner said...

Can you see that gunner's willy? Well, can you?

Submariner said...

ORA:

Turns out it was actually the "Dread Pirate Roberta."

Submariner said...

Sally and the gang completely submerged their personalities into character on "National Talk Like a Pirate Day."

Submariner said...

Aarrggh; she be mizzen me mast, if you catch my drift...

lawhawk said...

If you're not careful, you'll walk my plank, if you know what I mean.

Arrrghh, it's the infamous Dick Cheney. Prepare to be boarded.

ACK, it's Ron Jeremy. Incoming.

The Man said...

Hark! We've found where the Democrats have hidden Joe Liberman.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!"

lawhawk, I vote to ban the use of "Ron Jeremy" and "incoming" in the same sentence. ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

If this porno takes place in "pirate times", where are they gonna get that cheesy "woka-chica-woka-chica" music from?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Aye, me timbers... They be shiverin'...

The Man said...

1539 - Hernando De Soto explored Florida and her friend Ambrosia.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Henry never quite fit into the pirate scene with all the raping and pillaging... No, his dream was to someday be an orchestra conductor.

Son Of The Godfather said...

They had thought it a myth, seldom seen in this day and age, but there it was before them, the H.S.S. Democratic Decency.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"They're targeting our scurvy knaves!... Time to cut and run!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Wow, Murtha's war record goes back pretty damned far.

Son Of The Godfather said...

They hoped that Long Dong Sliver (Yeah, "Sliver") would lead them to the treasure trove of penicillin.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"You said the check was in the mail... That's the third lie you've told me!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Pirates" gets rave reviews:
V the K: "Arrrr, MATE-y!"
Submariner: "Thar I blows!"
Prough: "Boobies!"
Lawhawk: "Hoist the main sail!"
The Man: "Boobies!"
SOTG: "Fan-Giggidy-Tastic!"
Mr. Right: "Boobies!"
Andrew Sullivan: "Historically inaccurate."

Van Helsing said...

"Land ho!"

"Where? All I see is a couple of sea ho's!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

I had your site blogrolled for a while, but I'm taking you off because I don't appreciate your trying to squeeze humor out of offensive stereotypes about coolies, fancy-boys, and whores.

heh

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Over there... Is that a bloated senator in an Oldsmobile?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sonofabitch!... No matter how much I zoom the picture, I still can't see her crow's nest.

Son Of The Godfather said...

David Ogden Stiers curses the day they wrapped up M.A.S.H.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"There!... The fabled Island of Siliconia!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

See it in the lower left?... Yup, that's a guy stroking his rod (or "playing with his boom" if you're so inclined)

Rufus Leaking said...

Oh Yeah! See if you can tie up a bollard as neat as that!

Rufus Leaking said...

None of the mermaids I met looked like that the day I became a Shellback.

sonicfrog said...

What's this? The Poison Reunion tour???

Rodney Dill said...

"Look a whale spout"
"Naw thats just Ted Kennedy farting in the wading pool."

Rodney Dill said...

"So that's why the call him LONG John Silver."

Submariner said...

So that's where the phrase "the whole nine yards" comes from! Bring that man to my cabin.

Submariner said...

...and that's what happens when you get the pirate code out of sequence. Always remember, and never forget; engage, win, rape, pillage, sink.

Submariner said...

Which son of a whore signed up Canuck pirates? They keep calling all me crew "hausers."

Prough91 said...

(Stealing my own) You must be this tall to ride the pirate hooker.

V, how excited were you when you found this one?

Submariner said...

Thank goodness! Here comes the dwarf with the camel. We should be able to begin filming momentarily...

Submariner said...

Crap. A parade of spermies is blocking this route.

Submariner said...

Dammit Flax, I told you not to tell your grandma you were ditching dinner to run off with a pirate because she wouldn't understand...

Submariner said...

Pretty easy to tell what keeps Roger jolly.

Cybrludite said...

What double entendres in the song Cardiff Rose?

Cybrludite said...

Fog's gettin' pretty heavy. We best put into that town's port over there. According to the charts, it's name is Innsmouth...

Cybrludite said...

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Cybrludite said...

I am the very model of a trendy faux bisexual
I dress in black to show that I'm a tortured intellectual
My piercings have gone septic but at least I'm not respectable
I think that labels stink and that Nutella is delectable

Submariner said...

I don't know nothin' 'bout no "dead man's chest," but them's some serious boobies. Bring her to my cabin.

Submariner said...

Aye matey, that be right fine pirate booty, aarrgh.

Rodney Dill said...

The Democrats were starting to see the Dubya assembled SCOTUS as looking much like this, but then the Democrats had wanted to treat the constitution as more like guidelines.

Submariner said...

Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham point out the sights to Chris Elliot and his friends during their "Republican Corporate Raiders" cruise.

Submariner said...

The Parson found fault with the Dread Pirate Roberts' habit of issueing every crew member a "trusty, cut lass" to keep at his side. He was later dropped off on Pitcairn Island as they passed.

Rufus Leaking said...

Pinafore! Pinafore! What DID I sign up for?

Submariner said...

Here we see the official flagship of the DNC - Redoubt - taking its usual cargo of black voters to the plantation.

Submariner said...

Admiral Coulter had to find me.
She had to have a mate or she wouldn't put to sea.
We had little bed, then we had a little T, and a fingerpie...

Fingerpie?

Me mouth was on 'er breast, so me finger's in the pie...

Hands across the Coulter Coulter
Hands across the pie!

sonicfrog said...

I was wrong.... It's the return of Nelson.