Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Small Furry Captions For a Small Blurry Photo

1. Seeing that Gore is open, Kobe passes him a white hot ball of fused hydrogen.

2. "Dammit, Tink! It was a one-night stand. Get over it."

3. Gore's acid flashbacks have become so vivid they are now visible to outsiders.

4. Goru-kan unleashes a massive ball of white-fire-breath. "Your soul is mine... Fatality!"

5. "And I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I... Will Always... Love You-ou-ou-ou!"

6. "Dammit, Energy Being, I wish I knew how to quit you!"

7. Sensing that this Redeemer is a complete retard, the Oracle decides to fire up Halo just for the Hell of it. --- ORA---

8. "Brains! Brains!"

9. In a misguided MLK-day tribute, Al Gore does Al Jolson.

10. "Walk into the light! For the love of God, Walk into the light!"

Best of [Curious Onlurker]
"You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain/ Too much of love drives a man insane/ You broke my will, but what a thrill/ Goodness gracious great balls of fire..."

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Get in mah belly!", screamed Gore as he tried to catch the firefly.

Best of Submariner
"I've got the whole world, in my hands... come on, sing along, what are you people, uptight or something..."

Arioch! Arioch! Blood and souls for my lord Arioch!
Louis, upset that he was no longer the only complete wacko trying to drum up a national audience, orders the mother ship to take out Al with a personal-sized photon torpedo.

Sauron looks in to see how Al's doing.

Best of Chevy Rose
The Internet Isn't The Only Invention Gore Takes Credit --"LET THERE BE LIGHT!"

Best of Divine Miss M
"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"

Lastday. Carousel begins.

Best of jeff
To dreeeam...the impossible dreeam....!

Best of Mo K
"These hands have been touched by God!" (cue "Young Frankenstein" music)

Best of Van Helsing
Gore demonstrates how he caught the winning touchdown in Superbowl I, which remarkably occurred on the same day Prince Albert invented Penicillin.

Best of Occasional Reader
"NO, malevolent energy being, I will NOT engage in swordfighting with the Klingons! Instead, I laugh at you, hohoho!"

"That's where I saw the leprechaun! He told me to join the Angry Left."

Best of Anonymous
"And on the eighth day, I said 'Let there be LIGHT!' This was after I invented the internet."

Best of Rodney Dill
"I'll KILL da Wabbit!"

Best of Mr. Right
In a futile effort to get even with the world for denying him his Presidency, Al Gore's giant ego attempts to blow out the sun.

One moment later, a loud "smack" was heard, Tinkerbell was gone, and Al Gore found himself banned from Disney World for life.

Neil Boortz on a tip from submariner.

47 comments:

Cybrludite said...

I've seen this movie. This is the point where Kyle MacLachlan shoots him with a flamethrower to make the alien slug-thing crawl out so he can blast it.

Anonymous said...

You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain
Too much of love drives a man insane
You broke my will, but what a thrill
Goodness gracious great balls of fire

[Curious Onlurker]

Rodney Dill said...

Al's light at the end of the tunnel is the northbound Amtrak Express.

Chevy Rose said...

"Gore Coughs Up Huge Glowing Excretion On Stage - Proof Positive He Isn't From Earth"

Jonathan said...

"Get in mah belly!", screamed Gore as he tried to catch the firefly.

Submariner said...

algore demonstrates how NOT to play "pat-a-cake" with a firefly in his new children's book How the Nation Ripped Out My Heart, Chewed It Up, and Spit It Out - the Bastards!

Submariner said...

algore demonstates the proper technique for flaming George W. Bush to an enthusiastic group of DNC supporters.

Submariner said...

I've got the whole world, in my hands...

Chevy Rose said...

The Internet Isn't The Only Invention Gore Takes Credit --"LET THERE BE LIGHT!"

-----
"Fusion Of Confusion" - Gore's New Source Of Power

Submariner said...

ORA:

Arioch! Arioch! Blood and souls for my lord Arioch!

Rodney Dill said...

...still choking on 41's thousand points of light.

Submariner said...

Most people would light intestinal gas from a different orifice, but in Al's case, they seem to be interchangeable...

Submariner said...

Louis, upset that he was no longer the only complete wacko trying to drum up a national audience, orders the mother ship to take out Al with a personal-sized photon torpedo.

Submariner said...

ORA:

Oona, you must get the key!

(That way I can get the votes needed to take Florida...)

Submariner said...

Greatest media whore of all time? Cindy Sheehan? Jesse Jackson? AMATEURS! Can either of them do this!

Submariner said...

Al unveils his newest invetion for the better-ment of the world - mini-nuclear reactors. Fortunately, all that was left afterwards was the x-ray on the backdrop.

Submariner said...

I'd like to leave the stage now. Would someone PUH-LEASE go get my lower torso back from that cyclist?

Submariner said...

O-O-Ok! lo-homa! where the wind comes whistlin' up your pants!

Submariner said...

Al Gore, hit behind the right ear with a small truncheon, is expected to recover just in time to make another inane diatribe at Easter comparing President Bush to those who crucified Christ. At press time, we were not yet informed whether that would be the Jews, the Romans or the Republican Party. Stay tuned to CBS for continuing coverage.

divine miss M said...

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"

divine miss M said...

Lastday. Carousel begins.

The Man said...

I want to believe

jeff said...

To dreeeam...the impossible dreeam....!

Submariner said...

In this still from Raiders of the Lost Arc, the Nazi expedition's leader is just beginning to have his face melted by the "power" they unwittingly unleash by seeking to use the Arc as a weapon...

Mo K said...

"These hands have been touched by God!" (cue "Young Frankenstein" music)

For the "Greaseman" fans out there.

:-)

Submariner said...

The Roof! The Roof! The Roof is on Fire...

Submariner said...

"No, I know what ING is. I mean what's that?"

"Oh; that's just algore giving another incendiary rant..."

Submariner said...

Sauron looks in to see how Al's doing.

Submariner said...

ORA?

Keep your hands at the level of your eyes!

Van Helsing said...

Gore demonstrates how he caught the winning touchdown in Superbowl I, which remarkably occurred on the same day Prince Albert invented Penicillin.

Prough91 said...

Watch me juggle this ball of light while I have a flower in my ear.

Occasional Reader said...

"NO, malevolent energy being, I will NOT engage in swordfighting with the Klingons! Instead, I laugh at you, hohoho!"

AM42 said...

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo

V the K said...

"I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine."

Occasional Reader said...

"That's where I saw the leprechaun! He told me to join the Angry Left."

Anonymous said...

"And on the eighth day, I said 'Let there be LIGHT!' This was after I invented the internet."

Rodney Dill said...

"I'll KILL da Wabbit!"

Mr. Right said...

In a futile effort to get even with the world for denying him his Presidency, Al Gore's giant ego attempts to blow out the sun.

Mr. Right said...

One moment later, a loud "smack" was heard, Tinkerbell was gone, and Al Gore found himself banned from Disney World for life.

Mr. Right said...

After the comet had struck down the former Vice President, Pat Robertson was overheard saying, "Do you think they'll believe me this time?"

Rodney Dill said...

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
I’m just a poor boy,i need no sympathy-
Because I’m easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,doesn’t really matter to me,
To me

(Queen)

SparkS said...

""Rise up o ball of light. I say rise up light ball!!!!"

Robert said...

Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. John 3:20

Submariner said...

Though only a "mini-sun" created at Cal-Poly, its light still had full effect. As algore, vampire, crumbled to dust, the world became aware of what DC insiders had known for years.

Rodney Dill said...

"Lieberman and I can still win, but whereinthehell am I gonna get three more votes... wait a minute, I hear singing."

Gaijin Biker said...

HOOOORYUKEN!

Anonymous said...

Dear God, I told you people!