Thursday, January 19, 2006

A Reasonable Man, Open to Negotiation


1. Andrew Sullivan simply loved his new lawn service.

2. "Awwwright! I just got a teaching job in Massachusetts!"

3. Mad Max 4: Brokeback Warrior: "Dammit, Humongous, I wish I knew how to quit you!"

4. "Well, goodbye mom. My date's here. Don't wait up!"

5. After one weekend with Andrew Sullivan and Barney Frank at the Kennedy Compound, Humungous retreated to the Outback. "It was just too scary," he recalls now. Later, he converted to Christianity and opened a chain of men's business casual clothing stores.

6. Another Democrat witness shows up to testify at the Alito confirmation hearings.

Best of Cybrludite
Just walk away from Iraq & Afghanistan. Just walk away, and I'll offer you a long term truce!

Chief Wiggles takes the "Max Max" approach to armoring Army supply vehicles a step too far.

Best of Submariner
I'll take "Andrew Sullivan's Daydreams" for $200, Alex.

So, there I was at the Blue Oyster, and Andrew F'n Sullivan walks up and asks; "May I push in your stool, dood?" So I backs into him like this...

Best of lawhawk
Damn it Ted, we told you not to go out like that in winter. You might catch a cold!

Bring out the Gimp.

John Kerry's latest version of events in Vietnam were suspiciously like Pulp Fiction's scene in the basement with Maynard, Zed, and the Gimp.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"You can't even take a shower... with a beautiful woman... without taking off your clothes!..."

"Honey?... Babysitter's here."

Best of bad-d-d-dude
No need to call Homeland Security, officer, that's just Barney Franks' limo driver signaling that he's here to pick him up.

Best of Whoopsie-Daisey
Look Mr. Sullivan, it's like this; you don't ask how I "make 'em in this heat" and I'll keep bringing you your "Java-topped Spermcicles."

Best of sonicfrog
Hrrmmmph.... Hhrrrmmmmph.... Damn It! I just can't get this fart to come out...

All right, Mr DeMiller, I'm ready for my close-up...

OK Max. I Dare You! No... I Double-Dog Dare you to drive that tanker!!

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"And now, VH1's Behind the Music looks at the tragic life of Rex, the rejected wannabe star of the Village People!"

Best of Rodney Dill
Assey Ferguson 2006 Farm Equipment Calendar.
Dubya finally finds too late the Weapon of Masked Destruction

Best of catbat
Two cowboys enter! only pudding leaves!



Props: Ace

40 comments:

Submariner said...

Jason was in his own world. He believed in the WWF because he was the nation's biggest wresting dork.

Cybrludite said...

Just walk away from Iraq & Afghanistan. Just walk away, and I'll offer you a long term truce!

Cybrludite said...

Chief Wiggles takes the "Max Max" approach to armoring Army supply vehicles a step too far.

Submariner said...

I'll take "Andrew Sullivan's Daydreams" for $200, Alex.

lawhawk said...

Damn it Ted, we told you not to go out like that in winter. You might catch a cold!

Bring out the Gimp.

John Kerry's latest version of events in Vietnam were suspiciously like Pulp Fiction's scene in the basement with Maynard, Zed, and the Gimp.

Submariner said...

The "Governator" instituted creative ways to deal with political adversaries.

Submariner said...

Still courtesy of Jane Fonda's private collection of Barbarella out-takes.

Submariner said...

Muhammed, would you like drive into the dunes and make like camels; you know - two humps?

Submariner said...

Does this loin cloth make my rear look fat, Fatima?

Submariner said...

Sen. Byrd took one look and said, "Looks like a black sympathiser to me. String him up."

Son Of The Godfather said...

G*ddamned helmet laws.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Mad Max, a post-apocalyptic story where seemingly, only cool cars and S&M shops were unaffected.

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA - the "Wierd" kind:
"You can't even take a shower... with a beautiful woman... without taking off your clothes!..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

I hear the remake casts Ted Kennedy as the "Max" character. Can't wait to see Mad Ted: Beyond Thunderdope

(no, we don't need another hero... seriously.)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Either he's in a bloated diving suit w/bell helmet, or homie has GOT to cut back on the 'roids.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Honey?... Babysitter's here."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Bless me father, for I am about to sin:
I read an article where the pope likes to get away from it all and "disappear" for several hours at a time...

bad-d-d-dude said...

No need to car Homeland Security officer, that's just Barney Franks' limo driver signaling to Senator Franks that he's here to pick him up.

Submariner said...

ORA:

Bump-te-bump.

Submariner said...

Why, yes, Barney. I am a man who likes "wide, open spaces..."

sonicfrog said...

Identity: - Male
Age: - 20's-30's
Profession/status: - killer
Eccentric: Yes - wild - eccentric - emotionally unstable
How much of work is main antagonist actually present in: - 60%
Body type - muscular (man)
Ethnicity - White
How sensitive is this character? - mean, arrogant

PS. Yes, this is an actual profile of Humongous I found on the web. If it ain't here, it doesn't exist.

Whoopsie-Daisey said...

Look Mr. Sullivan, it's like this; you don't ask how I "make 'em in this heat" and I'll keep bringing you your "Java-topped Spermcicles."

sonicfrog said...

"I'm humongous from mad max, lord of the wasteland with crazy ill
Troops all at my command, don't you ever fall victim to my master plan,
I'm the dealer of death and here's your motherfuckin' hand."

A friendly rap from the band Biohazard (1999).

sonicfrog said...

Hrrmmmph.... Hhrrrmmmmph.... Damn It! I just can't get this fart to come out...

sonicfrog said...

All right, Mr DeMiller, I'm ready for my close-up...

sonicfrog said...

And if you elect me, I will make sure there is enough Juice and leather toys for everone!

sonicfrog said...

OK Max. I Dare You! No... I Double-Dog Dare you to drive that tanker!!

Jonathan said...

"And now, VH1's Behind the Music looks at the tragic life of Rex, the rejected wannabe star of the Village People!"

Submariner said...

So, there I was at the Blue Oyster, and Andrew F'n Sullivan walks up and asks; "May I push in your stool, dood?" So I backs into him like this...

Rodney Dill said...

Assey Ferguson 2006 Farm Equipment Calendar.

Rodney Dill said...

"I only tattoo what the voices in my head tell me to tattoo."

Rodney Dill said...

"Hey Dood, I got your car right here."

Prough91 said...

If you think he's tough, you ought to see his dominatrix.

Arnold did a little soft core porn before becoming governor.

Rodney Dill: "Who was that masked man?"
Prough91: "I don't know, but my butt's suddenly sore."

Submariner said...

Hillary Clinton daydreams of the perfect way to attire Bill when he's "First Gent."

Submariner said...

ORA:

One leash and ankle-hobbles short of a Doralee Rhoads' fantasy for Mr. Hart.

Rodney Dill said...

Dubya finally finds too late the Weapon of Masked Destruction

Submariner said...

Disgusted, Max said; "When I asked if you had any 'gas,' I meant gasoline you dipsh!t..."

catbat said...

two cowboys enter! only pudding leaves!

Mr. Right said...

It was only five minutes into the picture, but at the precise moment Jason appeared on screen, the entire audience knew that the "Friday the 13th" film series had finally jumped the shark!

sonicfrog said...

I smell teen spirit!