Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Monkey Time

1. Swamped at work and at home, V the K outsources Best of selection responsibilities to SOTG, Submariner, and Prough.

2. Curious George goes Brokeback.

3. k.d. lang, Melissa Etheridge, and Justin Timberlake didn't mind the side effects of the hormones, so long as they could reach the baritone notes they had always dreamed of.

4. "Don't waste your time. Dr. Zaius just comes here for the lap dances."

5. The center monkey went nuts at a White House and threw feces at President Bush. Two weeks later, he was elected Chairman of the DNC.

6. "Then I saw her face/Now I'm a believer..."

7. While visiting Heritage USA, don't miss out on the Zoo, featuring the Tammy Faye Bakker Primate House.

8. The world and the way it would be if Jane Goodall had studied cosmetology instead of Anthropology.

9. "When did Helen Thomas get a makeover? And who are those other chicks?"

10. The atmosphere at the Mary K Cosmetics testing lab is surprisingly festive.

Best of Rufus Leaking
One look and you realize why Michael Nesmith refuses to tour with them. .

Best of Mr. Right
"Another postcard with chimpanzees/ And every one is addressed to me..."

"...Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana..." "Daylight come and Bush is Hit-ler..." - V

Oh, look! The Dixie Chicks are back!

Best of Prough91
Time has not done right by the supremes.

Although huge in the eighties, SOTG and Submariner ended up waiting on tables after Prough91 left the group.

V the K's last three girlfriends perform the theme song from "B.J. and the Bear".

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Chimpanzee DNA matches human DNA approximately 98%... and I'm 98% sure I dated the chick in the middle.

Bi-curious George

I haven't heard such wailing of hairy banshees since I accidently channel surfed to The View by mistake.

Those "ooo-ooo-ooo" noises you get when you call those 976 lines?... Not always ladies.

Best of Submariner
Roddy McDowell, Kim Hunter and Lou Wagner "get down" with their rendition of Yellow Bird, Up High In Banana Tree.

Pelosi, Boxer and Mikulski had a successful little gig on the side, until their discussion of "Who's the Boss" devolved into "So which of us IS the leader" that one fateful night.

The Capital Hill softball game between the "DNC Picketers" and the "RNC Fatcats" began with a rousing chorus of The Star Spangled Banana by Laura Ingraham's famous "Butt Monkey Trio."

Best of lawhawk
Hillary, Teddy, and Joe were the life of the party once they started with the karaoke.

This is what happens when you leave Stewie alone in the house with Brian. And a pack of deranged monkeys.

Best of Van Helsing
"Allll we are saaaay-iing is, give peace a chaaaaaance..."

From Knowledge Am Power.

49 comments:

Anonymous said...

The three stages of orgasm...
1. ooooh (left)
2. aaaah (right)
3. aiiiiiieeeeee! (center)

Rodney Dill said...

The Nairobi Trio was a hit at the Superbowl half-time show, but were overshadowed by the newest scandal as the other half of the act, King Kong, was soon to be also known as King Dong.

Rodney Dill said...

Al Gore's back up singers

Rufus Leaking said...

One look and you realize why Michael Nesmith refuses to tour with them. .

Rufus Leaking said...

Why is life so hard? Because even when you get the monkey off your back, the circus is still in town.

Mr. Right said...

"Another postcard with chimpanzees
And every one is addressed to me..."

Mr. Right said...

No! You may not touch my monkey!

Mr. Right said...

"...Do the Monkey, yeah (do the Monkey Time)
Do the Monkey, yeah (do the Monkey Time)
Ah-twist them hips (twist them hips)
Let your backbone slip (let your backbone slip)
Now move your feet (move your feet)
Get on the beat (get on the beat)
Are you ready (are you ready)
Well, you get yours, cause-a I got mine
For the Monkey Time (Monkey Time)..."

Mr. Right said...

Oh, look! The Dixie Chicks are back!

Prough91 said...

Time has not done right by the supremes.

Although huge in the eighties, SOTG and Submariner ended up waiting on tables after Prough91 left the group.

Next on behind the music, Destiny's Child's career turned south when they boycotted cosmetics.

V the K's last three girlfriends perform the theme song from "B.J. and the Bear".

Prough91 said...

Hey, do any of ya'll watch Invasion?

Prough91 said...

O.K., one more.

Hillary Clinton's wet dream.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Amazon Idol premieres tonight on FOX!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Karaoke night at V the K's place was a madhouse... a MADHOUSE!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Chimpanzee DNA matches human DNA approximately 98%...
and I'm 98% sure I dated the chick in the middle.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Protestors, comprised mostly of failed CBS producers, decry the Orangatan Scientists and Gorilla-controlled military in Planet of the Mapes.

Son Of The Godfather said...

From V's #2:

Bi-curious George

Son Of The Godfather said...

Those Code-Pink chicks have GOT to discover theBIC Lady Shaver™

Son Of The Godfather said...

Stung by the fallout from their previous defeatest rhetoric, Pelosi, Murtha, and Dean change their stance to: "cut a demo and run".

Son Of The Godfather said...

Thus Spake SOTG:
After primitive contemplation, one curious primate touched the giant, black monolith, and the three instantly evolved into a Vegas lounge power trio.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Up and Coming Animal Band Groups:
"Dolphin" rocks, but "Monkey"?... Monkey Shines!

sowwy ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Planet of the Apes (Simpsons style)

Chimpanzee 1: Help! The human's about to escape.

Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!

Chimpanzee 2: (gasp) He can talk!

Orangutans: He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!

Troy: And I can siiiiiiiiiiing!

Chimp Nurse: Oooh! Help me, Dr. Zaius!

Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
O, Dr. Zaius!

Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Troy: What's wrong with me?

Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy.

Troy: I want a second opinion.

Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy
Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
O, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Troy: Can I play the piano any more?
Dr. Zaius: Of course you can!
Troy: Well I couldn't before.
(plays piano)

Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Planet of the Apes (Simpsons style) PII:

Troy: I hate every ape I see,
From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z,
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me!

(Statue of Liberty rises)

O my God! I was wrong!
It was Earth, all along!
You've finally made a monkey,

Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey,

Troy: Yes you've

& Apes: finally made a monkey out of me!

Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!

Rodney Dill said...

If they would've voted in 2000, Al Gore might be president right now.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Looovin' you... is easy cuz you're beautiful...

Son Of The Godfather said...

I haven't heard such wailing of hairy banshees since I accidently channel surfed to The View by mistake.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Tonight, on Jerry Swinger...
("Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!")

Son Of The Godfather said...

Those "ooo-ooo-ooo" noises you get when you call those 976 lines?... Not always ladies.

Submariner said...

This one time at band camp? I had a "meange-a-quattro" with this hot singing trio...

Mornin' gang.
OK, for the best o' duties - SOTG name all Prough91's, Prough91 name all mine, and I'll name all SOTG's...

Submariner said...

meange = menage of course...

Submariner said...

"Another Pleasant Valley Sunday-ay-ay! Here in status symbol land..."

Submariner said...

ORA:

I want my Maypo!

Submariner said...

"Libby outed Plame! Bushitler! Rove's mind control waves! Haliburton!
While providing some entertainment value in short doses, the Daily Kos readers, incapable of creative thought, could only chorus previous Howard Dean rants.

Submariner said...

V. Re: your #1 - those are neither my shade of lipstick nor eyeshadow. Prough91, on the other hand... heh heh heh.

Submariner said...

Our brother is out "putting on the dog," so to speak, at an NBA game.

Submariner said...

Backstage, the Kingston Trio loved to participate in campy send-ups.

Submariner said...

"We are the simian world, we are the children..."

Submariner said...

"Jungle Rap" is a new genre sweeping the youth of the nation.

Submariner said...

Smush Parker hit on a unique way to announce to Kobe when he was open.

Submariner said...

Roddy McDowell, Kim Hunter and Lou Wagner "get down" with their rendition of Yellow Bird, Up High In Banana Tree.

lawhawk said...

Hillary, Teddy, and Joe were the life of the party once they started with the karaoke.

This is what happens when you leave Stewie alone in the house with Brian. And a pack of deranged monkeys.

Submariner said...

Pelosi, Boxer and Mikulski had a successful little gig on the side, until their discussion of "Who's the Boss" devolved into "So which of us IS the leader" that one fateful night.

Submariner said...

The Capital Hill softball game between the "DNC Picketers" and the "RNC Fatcats" began with a rousing chorus of The Star Spangled Banana by Laura Ingraham's famous "Butt Monkey Trio."

lawhawk said...

Comedy Central reveals that they've just signed an exclusive contract with the McLaughlin Group.

Van Helsing said...

"Allll we are saaaay-iing is, give peace a chaaaaaance..."

Mr. Right said...

"...Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Lift six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch
Daylight come and me wan' go home..."

Mr. Right said...

"YES! We have no bananas,
We have no bananas today.
We've string beans and HON-ions,
Cab-BAH-ges and scallions
And all kinds of fruit, and say
We have an old fashioned to-MAH-to,
Long Island po-TAH-to,
But YES! We have no bananas.
We have no bananas today."

Mr. Right said...

"I think I’m sophisticated
’cos I’m living my life like a good homosapien
But all around me everybody’s multiplying
Till they’re walking round like flies man
So I’m no better than the animals sitting in their cages
In the zoo man
’cos compared to the flowers and the birds and the trees
I am an ape man
I think I’m so educated and I’m so civilized
’cos I’m a strict vegetarian
But with the over-population and inflation and starvation
And the crazy politicians
I don’t feel safe in this world no more
I don’t want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore and make like an ape man
I’m an ape man, I’m an ape ape man
I’m an ape man I’m a king kong man I’m ape ape man
I’m an ape man
’cos compared to the sun that sits in the sky
Compared to the clouds as they roll by
Compared to the bugs and the spiders and flies
I am an ape man
In man’s evolution he has created the cities and
The motor traffic rumble, but give me half a chance
And I’d be taking off my clothes and living in the jungle
’cos the only time that I feel at ease
Is swinging up and down in a coconut tree
Oh what a life of luxury to be like an ape man
I’m an ape, I’m an ape ape man, I’m an ape man
I’m a king kong man, I’m a voo-doo man
I’m an ape man
I look out my window, but I can’t see the sky
’cos the air pollution is fogging up my eyes
I want to get out of this city alive
And make like an ape man
Come and love me, be my ape man girl
And we will be so happy in my ape man world
I’m an ape man, I’m an ape ape man, I’m an ape man
I’m a king kong man, I’m a voo-doo man
I’m an ape man
I’ll be your tarzan, you’ll be my jane
I’ll keep you warm and you’ll keep me sane
And we’ll sit in the trees and eat bananas all day
Just like an ape man
I’m an ape man, I’m an ape ape man, I’m an ape man
I’m a king kong man, I’m a voo-doo man
I’m an ape man.
I don’t feel safe in this world no more
I don’t want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore
And make like an ape man."

Submariner said...

ORA:

"They've got a pet monkey who likes / To get drunk and sing boogie woogie / And it sounds real funky / Come on / your turn boy / Sing one monkey:"

Oo-oo-oo-oo...