1. Closer, closer,... yes, soon I will take you to Florida where the consumption of your flesh will make the dolphins live forever. Edgar was later convicted of transporting young gulls across state lines for immortal porpoises.2. Once a mighty 1970's cultural phenomenon, Jonathan Livingston Seagull now lives quietly in Key West with longtime companion, Bruce.
3. Once again, imprinting has gone horribly awry.
4. Coming this summer from New Line Entertainment and Dreamworks SKG: White Rain. Terror has a whole new meaning.
5. I had no shoes and I was sad. Then I met a guy who was covered in seagull crap and I laughed and laughed and laughed.
6. ORA --- Tom Lehrer's got the pigeons in the park covered. The seagulls at the beach are all mine.
7. California Green Party Senate Candidate "Wind" consults with his advisors.
8. The training was tough, but eventually, the seagulls would learn to pull Bruce's finger.
9. Years of research, millions in grant money, and it turned out Pixar was right and the only word in the seagull language is, in fact, "Mine."
10. The years of accusations finally took their toll on Father Flaherty, who now serves communion only to seagulls, "the purest of God's creatures."
Best of Submariner
Henry then made his fortune making sausages from the birds' carcasses, marketed under the trade name "A Tern For The Wurst".
Negative on the fly-by, Maverick. The pattern is full.
Jonathon Livingston's last thought? "Tha last fry tasted like Alka Seltzer."
Best of Mr. Right
Craig headed off to the beach with a cooler full of cocaine-laced minnows and a dream... leave no tern unstoned!
Best of Citizen Grim
Brutus quivered in ecstacy at his wet dreams of seagulls picking the flesh from Caesar's decaptitated head, but he would eventually be forced to put them aside in favor of the more pragmatic knife-between-the-ribs.
By some twist of fate, he opened his eyes to find that he had mistakenly been sent to Oyster Hell, sentenced to be pecked at by incontinent seagulls for all eternity.
Best of John
Corky from "Life Goes On" abandoned his budding carreer in Hollywood for chance to become the next seagull taming sensation.
Best of Cybrludite
Hugo Chavez in an alternate universe where there actually is a just God...
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Can't leave it at a caption ending in a "nine"!
Penniless and hungry, James showed the other homeless folks just how easy dinner could be had with only a single piece of bread and a tennis racket.
Fair Use! From this source. Hat Tip: Renna
21 comments:
Henry then made his fortune making sausages from the birds' carcasses, marketed under the trade name "A Tern For The Wurst".
Bad, I know. But V. has no one to blame but himself after #1.
ORA:
Negative on the fly-by, Maverick. The pattern is full.
Craig headed off to the beach with a cooler full of cocaine-laced minnows and a dream... leave no tern unstoned!
[Sorry, but it seems to be bad pun day...]
Brutus quivered in ecstacy at his wet dreams of seagulls picking the flesh from Caesar's decaptitated head, but he would eventually be forced to put them aside in favor of the more pragmatic knife-between-the-ribs.
Wind braced himself for the consequences of coming in 3rd to Diane Feinstein and Chindy Sheehan for Senate. The Winged Ones were calling him home.
By some twist of fate, he opened his eyes to find that he had mistakenly been sent to Oyster Hell, sentenced to be pecked at by incontinent seagulls for all eternity.
It's thanks to guys like this that I can't eat my lunch outside without it turning into a scene from "The Birds." He'd better hope they don't develop a taste for eyeballs.
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,
......
oops I didn't read number nine,
nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine,
nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine,
nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine,
nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine,
nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine,
nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine,
nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine,
close enough.
Corky from "Life Goes On" abandoned his budding carreer in Hollywood for chance to become the next seagull taming sensation.
Proof positive that, as scavengers, seagulls will eat positively anything.
Oh, won't you eeeeeeat....frieeeees.....Freeeee...bird, yeah!
You invade the earth with the Storm Troopers you have, not the Storm Troopers you may want or wish to have at a later time.
I looked at the Storm Trooper picture and clicked the comment link above it, doh!
In continuation of #1:
"Young gull, get out of my mind,
My love for you is way out of line,
Better run, gull,
You're much too young, gull."
With apologies to Gary Puckett and the Union Gap
You don't need a picture of Ted Kennedy bloviating over anything. Use a picture of Barney Gumble, and no one will know the difference.
Hugo Chavez in an alternate universe where there actually is a just God...
In Dunnwich the whippoorwills will try and catch the soul of a recently deceased sorcerer. In Innsmouth, it's seagulls.
Odd that the media hasn't been plastering pictures of Kennedy looking like a dork all over. After all, they do that to Bush, and we all know from Kos & Oliver Willis how badly the MSM leans in favor of the Rethuglicans...
Can't leave it at a caption ending in a "nine"!
Penniless and hungry, James showed the other homeless folks just how easy dinner could be had with only a single piece of bread and a tennis racket.
(Wow!... "terns"... "young gulls"... some GREAT caps there!)
Jonathon Livingston's last thought? "Tha last fry tasted like Alka Seltzer."
Post a Comment