Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Fatwah This Ya Crazy Bastitch

1. This is, like, way less impressive without the dummie.

2. "This tastes like goat piss... really, really good goat piss."

3. "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking."

4. "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"



Cybrludite: Achmed was a chemist. Achmed is no more. What Achmed thought was H-two-O, was H-2-S-O-four!

Submariner: After I clear my palate I will regale you with my version of Climb Every Mountain.

lawhawk: The hills are alive... with the sound of Ahmadinejad drinking hydrocloric acid...

lawhawk: Live, from Tehran, it's Chevy Chase doing his favorite spittakes.

5. "Plotting to exterminate the Jewish Race. It's my anti-drug!"

6. "Look at the size of these nostrils. Do you really think one finger is enough?"

7. "This is sign language for 'Crazy bastard want him some nukes!'"

8. "You mean the whole time I drank that water my pinkie was extended like a limp-wristed sissy-boy?"

9. "Me? Flaccid?"



Cybrludite: "I will give you best deal on a used car or my name isn't completely unpronounceable!"

Submariner: I'd like to talk with you about constipation...

Rodney Dill: "Ack! Ack! Kafur Ball, Sorry."

lawhawk: I'm Chiggy von Richtoven and I'm going to destroy all of you.

Submariner: "What are we going to do now?" The same thing we do every day, Fidel. Try to take over the world!

Occasional Reader: "Why, yes, it IS a 'Members Only' jacket. Thank you for noticing."

Occasional Reader: "Wonderful, the backdrop is ready. Now, you will all wait here, while I change into my Julie Andrews 'Sound of Music' costume, yes?"


10. "The Final Jeopardy answer was 'pubic mound'. How much did you wager... Oooooooh, I'm sorry ..."

11. "Damn it, John Stamos, I wish I knew how to quit you!"

12. "All right, who threw that spitball?"

Submariner: Oh Mango! I want you; be mine alone!

Submariner: David Heddison gives an emotional press conference after the Time Tunnel collapses, killing 3 crewmen.

Rodney Dill: "I told Kobe I was open, but I wasn't."

Occasional Reader: "Was I denying the Holocaust AGAIN?! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!" [pounding head]

Submariner:
Yes! Dammit, yes... I did have an affair with "Ahab, the Arab; sheik of the burning sand."


AssPress Photos/Hasan Sarbakhshian via Yahoo News by numerous requests.

28 comments:

Cybrludite said...

(For pic #2) I will give you best deal on used car or my name isn't completely unpronounceable!

Cybrludite said...

(For pic #1) Achmed was a chemist. Achmed is no more. What Achmed thought was H-two-O, was H-2-S-O-four!

Cybrludite said...

(For pic #3) You like me! You really, really like me!

Cybrludite said...

(Pic #2) Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week. Try your waitress, and remember to tip your veal!

Cybrludite said...

(In series. and I appologize for giving y'all this to wake up to...)

"Ok, I will try your refreshing beverage."

"Say again? What I just drank was Mike Al-Moor's flop sweat that had been collected and distilled?"

"Retch! Puke!"

(On the plus side, now we know what they use to make Zima...)

Submariner said...

Last pic:

"I had Israel suicide-bombed, but I coulda had a G-8!"

Mornin' Cybr - that last made me queasy - nice!"

Submariner said...

Last pic:

V. the K. has quit selecting "Best o'" caps? That makes me cry. Oh well, we must look on the bright side - we can still bomb Israeli's!

Submariner said...

2nd pic:

What? Me offend Dawn by using stereotypes in talking about black women???

Submariner said...

Third pic:

Damn! Someone at the UN DID blink during my ramble.

Submariner said...

Screw Cindy Sheehan or drink 8 ounces of high test? Glug, glug, glug. Even I have dignity limits...

Submariner said...

First pic:

After I clear my palate I will regale you with my version of Climb Every Mountain.

Submariner said...

Last pic:

No, the answer was "White Phosphorous Grenade" but thanks for playing Tanks and Turbans.

Submariner said...

Second pic:

I'd like to talk with you about constipation...

Submariner said...

First pic:

This is what I promise Arrakis! IF you will only follow me and do whatever ridiculous thing enters my mind as soon as I voice it (destroy Israel)...

Rodney Dill said...

(bottom photo)
"My fellow Iranians, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws America forever. The bombing will begin in five minutes."

Submariner said...

Last Pic:

Oh Mango! I want you; be mine alone!

Whoopsie-Daisey said...

Last pic:

The UN only voted to call Israel an "abomination against all law-abiding Arab nations" but refused to directly outlaw its existence. So far.

Submariner said...

Second pic:

Ha! "Cheers, where efrybudy know your name..." PTUI! Not one American pronounce mine right.

Rodney Dill said...

(Works for pics 1 and 2 in sequence)

"Ack! Ack! Kafur Ball, Sorry."

lawhawk said...

Photo #1:
The hills are alive... with the sound of Ahmadinejad drinking hydrocloric acid...

Live, from Tehran, it's Chevy Chase doing his favorite spittakes.

Photo #2: I'm Chiggy von Richtoven and I'm going to destroy all of you.

Photo #3: It's that damned white light flashing again. This time it's telling me I might have gone too far... naw... just teasing. I'm still going to blow up the world.

Submariner said...

Second pic:

"What are we going to do now?" The same thing we do every day, Fidel. Try to take over the world!

Submariner said...

Second pic:

I believe in charity to the useless. So; as you can see I only have 1 finger left on my left hand. Please send the "Helen Thomas" creature to my suite. It may cleanse me.

Submariner said...

ORA:

Last pic:

David Heddison gives an emotional press conference after the Time Tunnel collapses, killing 3 crewmen.

Rodney Dill said...

#3
"I'm very sorry, I told Kobe I was open, and I wasn't."

Occasional Reader said...

(Pic #2)

"Why, yes, it IS a 'Members Only' jacket. Thank you for noticing."

Occasional Reader said...

(Also pic #2)

"Wonderful, the backdrop is ready. Now, you will all wait here, while I change into my Julie Andrews 'Sound of Music' costume, yes?"

Occasional Reader said...

(pic #3)

"Was I denying the Holocaust AGAIN?! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!" [pounding head]

Submariner said...

Last pic:

Yes! Dammit, yes... I did have an affair with "Ahab, the Arab; sheik of the burning sand."