1. "What the hell happened to me last night. The last thing I remember, Uncle Ted was fixin' up some of his 'special cocktails' and I woke up wearing Barney Frank's underwear with a twenty dollar bill on my pillow and my ass feels like I just crapped out a few dozen Taco Bell habenero fajitas!"2. "For the last time Mr. Yale D Student, My name is not Mr Dood!"
3. "Dammit, John, I wish I knew how to quit you!"
4. "So, Mr. Dood, you ready for another day of ineffectual tantrum-throwing while history passes us by?"
5. "Oh, get over, it Mr. Dood. She was just a stripper, she didn't have a family, and Uncle Ted took care of the body. You're clear."
6. "The truth is, John, I have no idea how I ended up naked on the Lincoln Memorial."
7. "I don't know how they do it. The booze, the drugs, the hookers, the Satanic bloody orgy, the lesbian dwarves, the goat races. Kennedy looks fresh as a daisy and McCain doesn't have a hair out of place."
8. I really wanted to do a Goofus and Gallant caption, but I'm kind of short on Gallants.
9. "Dood, would you stop with the choking noises and help me out here. I need a six letter word for 'kept man.'"
10. "Well, if you're just going to sit there and fake a heart attack, then I won't let you be my running mate in 2008."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Before he could identify the antichrist within the realm of the Democratic party, Mr.Dodd is speared with a red pitchfork, seemingly from nowhere.
Mr.Dodd attempts to focus his gaze elsewhere as Kerry blows his wad under the table.
Dodd is odd, but Kerry is scary.
Best of Submariner
Holy crap, John! Did your cook serve frijoles AGAIN?
Calgon; take me away!
Have you seen this list of witnesses against Alito? Smelly pirate hooker, Tin foil hat maker, Inflated scrotum guy from Berkeley.. Good Group.
Best of Cybrludite
Dodd: Ok, no more cabbage & black-eyed peas for Kennedy, even if it is New Years!
Best of Rodney Dill
Insta-poll: Sucks vs. Blows. You decide.
As Sen. Kerry reveals his sith name as Darth eVaider, Dodd ponders -- "Darn all the good sith names are taken, I guess I am stuck with Darth Doody."
Best of ColoradoPatriot
American Idol just isn't the same without Simon.
Dodd and Dodderer
Best of Robert
Dodd and Kerry adopt a new, more mature strategy for dealing with the Bush Administration. They're going to hold their breath until the President withdraws the troops.
Best of Shayne
"I'm sorry, John. I really thought I could pull out in time."
Best of lawhawk
Couldn't keep up with Teddy, could you? Naw, me neither.
Best of Occasional Reader
"Hey, Mr. War Hero, you can hold your breath all you want, it's still right here in Robert's Rules of Order: 'Whoever denied it, supplied it'."
Fairly used from the WaPo's Best of 2005 Series
55 comments:
Before he could identify the antichrist within the realm of the Democratic party, Mr.Dodd is speared with a red pitchfork, seemingly from nowhere.
Senator Kerry, failing to properly plan for the sperm bank being closed in observation of MLK day, is forced to hold on to his deposit "chipmunk style".
Androgenous Jedi (rear), readies a glowing red light saber to quell the Attack of the Clowns.
Mr.Dodd attempts to focus his gaze elsewhere as Kerry blows his wad under the table.
"Excuse me, Mr.Dodd?... Mr.Kerry?... Can either of you spell integrity?"
Strange Math:
Thousand dollar suits, two-hundred dollar haircuts, sixty-dollar manicures, and you still end up with two assholes.
So you claim to come from a "working class, Italian, Catholic home..." What the hell do you know about "American middle-class values?"
Kerry under his breath to Dodd so, Chriss, whattaya say we blow this hearing and go see "Brokeback Mountain?"
Holy crap, John! Your cook serve frijoles AGAIN?
Have you seen this list of witnesses against Alito?
1 - Smelly pirate hooker, 1968
2 - Tin foil hat maker, 1969
3 - Inflated scrotum guy from Berkley, 1984
4 - etc. ad nauseum
Can't a single DNC operative find something to give us at least a claim of "Substance" when we vote against this Bush nomination?
Good! Dood is "Hear no evil," Skerry is "Speak no evil," and Kennedy is, Kennedy is... Where the Hell is Kennedy? Someone check the bar!
Kerry: (Thinking) "Damn, I just can't think of any better captions than submariner's and SOTG's for this picture."
(No, that's not what Rodney Dill is Thinking)
Dodd - "That damn Alito whooped me upside my lefty temple with a clue-by-four!"
"Kidd Decision? What the hell is Alito doing bringing up the law?"
在 铺地毯!
So sorry - wrong cap link.
And in politics, "Beavis and Butthead" won the Senate talent show today for the 5th straight year...
Submariner said...
So sorry - wrong cap link.
Actually, I think it kinda works!
Dodd: Ok, no more cabbage & black-eyed peas for Kennedy, even if it is New Years!
Insta-poll
Sucks vs. Blows
You decide.
Submariner said...
在 铺地毯!
Gesuntiet!
Dodd struggles with a Kerry nuance.
RD - "Sucks vs. Blows" That is a keeper!
Cvbr, looking back at it, you're right, it would work for these two aliens... but, Babblefish doesn't have an English to Romulan option.
Dodd and Kerry shouldn't take it so hard. Their party is still more relevant than the Green Party.
As Sen. Kerry reveals his sith name as Darth eVaider, Dodd ponders -- "Darn all the good sith names are taken, I guess I am stuck with Darth Doody."
OK, now "Darth eVader" is definitely worth something... V, show Rodney what he's won!...
I wish he would have been stuck with that moniker during '04!
American Idol just isn't the same without Simon.
Dodd and Dodderer
"Damn, John. Wielding all this power is pretty exhausting, isn't it?"
Obscure Childish College Game Reference:
"Dude. Doorknob!"
Dodd is odd, but Kerry is scary.
CP, Just be gald that Mikulski or Boxer didn't take Paula's seat for this pic!
uh, make that gald = glad
Uh, no, Ms. Coulter, I do not. Please end the histrionics and tell us; just what is the difference between "Sh!t" and "Shinola?"
Damn; If I'm forced to sit through another Gore speach, I swear I'll convert to the Green Party!
I drew Boxer, Dodd, but you drew Mikulski!
Calgon; take me away!
Kerry thought bubble, "Gotta blow, gotta blow, gotta blow right now. Gotta blow, gotta blow, gotta blow!"
Kerry thought bubble; "Whoa! Grabbed Teresa's raisins this morning! Might not be such a boring afternoon, afterall..."
Takin care of the "Niner" for my buddy SOTG -
V. check http://boortz.com/nuze/200601/01172006.html#gore for a pic just screaming for your talents.
Dodd and Kerry adopt a new, more mature strategy for dealing with the Bush Administration. They're going to hold their breath until the President withdraws the troops.
That is absolutely the last time I trust Barney Frank to book a room for us!
After their "fact-finding" mission to Iraq, things were a little uncomfortable between Dodd and Kerry.
"I'm sorry, John. I really thought I could pull out in time."
Given prough91's and shayne's excellent comments I guess that you make the movie.
Brokeback Hill
While Mr. Dodd hopes that press can't trace his bicycle back to him, Mr. Kerry prepares a press release to 'spill the beans.'
Chrissy? Is it "i before e" or "e before i?" If I'm gonna release a statement bashing George for stupidity, I don't think I should mispell words...
Try the new "Jackson's" for those heavy rainbow flow days.
Hey Dodd, did you know a Jack Bauer in college or something? He's running around shooting people and blowing 'em up with a cellphone. There's got to be a law against that somewhere that we can pin on an arrogant and corrupt Bushitler regime.
Dodd: Kerry, you ignorant slut, it's a frackin' tv show.
Couldn't keep up with Teddy, could you? Naw, me neither.
☯'s
"Hey, Mr. War Hero, you can hold your breath all you want, it's still right here in Robert's Rules of Order: 'Whoever denied it, supplied it'."
To the disappointment of everyone at the Senate's annual talent show, The highly anticipated "My Favorite Martian" sketch bombed spectacularly with John Kerry's unconvincing portrayal of Bill Bixby's Tim O'Hara and Christopher "Uncle Martin" Dodd only able to raise one of his two antennae on cue.
Christopher, you're my friend, right? I can call you Chris, okay? Can I be vulnerable with you? It's long, stress-filled days in the Senate like today that . . . that take me back to my days in 'Nam, Christmas in Cambodia, the boat ride with the man wearing the hat, rescuing that fat guy that fell overboard, long hours editing my 8 mm camera film we shot for future use when I run for President as a warrior-dove kind of candidate.
Sen. Dodd, bored with his life as a Senator in the minority party, exercises his budding powers of mental telepathy to create the sensation of gas in an unsuspecting colleage-Sen. Kerry of Massachussets--who, by the way, fought in Vietnam.
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