Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Dodd, Where's My Car

1. "What the hell happened to me last night. The last thing I remember, Uncle Ted was fixin' up some of his 'special cocktails' and I woke up wearing Barney Frank's underwear with a twenty dollar bill on my pillow and my ass feels like I just crapped out a few dozen Taco Bell habenero fajitas!"

2. "For the last time Mr. Yale D Student, My name is not Mr Dood!"

3. "Dammit, John, I wish I knew how to quit you!"

4. "So, Mr. Dood, you ready for another day of ineffectual tantrum-throwing while history passes us by?"

5. "Oh, get over, it Mr. Dood. She was just a stripper, she didn't have a family, and Uncle Ted took care of the body. You're clear."

6. "The truth is, John, I have no idea how I ended up naked on the Lincoln Memorial."

7. "I don't know how they do it. The booze, the drugs, the hookers, the Satanic bloody orgy, the lesbian dwarves, the goat races. Kennedy looks fresh as a daisy and McCain doesn't have a hair out of place."

8. I really wanted to do a Goofus and Gallant caption, but I'm kind of short on Gallants.

9. "Dood, would you stop with the choking noises and help me out here. I need a six letter word for 'kept man.'"

10. "Well, if you're just going to sit there and fake a heart attack, then I won't let you be my running mate in 2008."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Before he could identify the antichrist within the realm of the Democratic party, Mr.Dodd is speared with a red pitchfork, seemingly from nowhere.

Mr.Dodd attempts to focus his gaze elsewhere as Kerry blows his wad under the table.

Dodd is odd, but Kerry is scary.

Best of Submariner
Holy crap, John! Did your cook serve frijoles AGAIN?

Calgon; take me away!

Have you seen this list of witnesses against Alito? Smelly pirate hooker, Tin foil hat maker, Inflated scrotum guy from Berkeley.. Good Group.

Best of Cybrludite
Dodd: Ok, no more cabbage & black-eyed peas for Kennedy, even if it is New Years!

Best of Rodney Dill
Insta-poll: Sucks vs. Blows. You decide.

As Sen. Kerry reveals his sith name as Darth eVaider, Dodd ponders -- "Darn all the good sith names are taken, I guess I am stuck with Darth Doody."

Best of ColoradoPatriot
American Idol just isn't the same without Simon.

Dodd and Dodderer

Best of Robert
Dodd and Kerry adopt a new, more mature strategy for dealing with the Bush Administration. They're going to hold their breath until the President withdraws the troops.

Best of Shayne
"I'm sorry, John. I really thought I could pull out in time."

Best of lawhawk
Couldn't keep up with Teddy, could you? Naw, me neither.

Best of Occasional Reader
"Hey, Mr. War Hero, you can hold your breath all you want, it's still right here in Robert's Rules of Order: 'Whoever denied it, supplied it'."



Fairly used from the WaPo's Best of 2005 Series

55 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

Before he could identify the antichrist within the realm of the Democratic party, Mr.Dodd is speared with a red pitchfork, seemingly from nowhere.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Senator Kerry, failing to properly plan for the sperm bank being closed in observation of MLK day, is forced to hold on to his deposit "chipmunk style".

Son Of The Godfather said...

Androgenous Jedi (rear), readies a glowing red light saber to quell the Attack of the Clowns.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Mr.Dodd attempts to focus his gaze elsewhere as Kerry blows his wad under the table.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Excuse me, Mr.Dodd?... Mr.Kerry?... Can either of you spell integrity?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Strange Math:
Thousand dollar suits, two-hundred dollar haircuts, sixty-dollar manicures, and you still end up with two assholes.

Submariner said...

So you claim to come from a "working class, Italian, Catholic home..." What the hell do you know about "American middle-class values?"

Submariner said...

Kerry under his breath to Dodd so, Chriss, whattaya say we blow this hearing and go see "Brokeback Mountain?"

Submariner said...

Holy crap, John! Your cook serve frijoles AGAIN?

Submariner said...

Have you seen this list of witnesses against Alito?
1 - Smelly pirate hooker, 1968
2 - Tin foil hat maker, 1969
3 - Inflated scrotum guy from Berkley, 1984
4 - etc. ad nauseum
Can't a single DNC operative find something to give us at least a claim of "Substance" when we vote against this Bush nomination?

Submariner said...

Good! Dood is "Hear no evil," Skerry is "Speak no evil," and Kennedy is, Kennedy is... Where the Hell is Kennedy? Someone check the bar!

Rodney Dill said...

Kerry: (Thinking) "Damn, I just can't think of any better captions than submariner's and SOTG's for this picture."

(No, that's not what Rodney Dill is Thinking)

Submariner said...

Dodd - "That damn Alito whooped me upside my lefty temple with a clue-by-four!"

Submariner said...

"Kidd Decision? What the hell is Alito doing bringing up the law?"

Submariner said...

在 铺地毯!

Submariner said...

So sorry - wrong cap link.

Submariner said...

And in politics, "Beavis and Butthead" won the Senate talent show today for the 5th straight year...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Submariner said...
So sorry - wrong cap link.

Actually, I think it kinda works!

Cybrludite said...

Dodd: Ok, no more cabbage & black-eyed peas for Kennedy, even if it is New Years!

Rodney Dill said...

Insta-poll
Sucks vs. Blows
You decide.

Cybrludite said...

Submariner said...
在 铺地毯!


Gesuntiet!

Rodney Dill said...

Dodd struggles with a Kerry nuance.

Submariner said...

RD - "Sucks vs. Blows" That is a keeper!

Cvbr, looking back at it, you're right, it would work for these two aliens... but, Babblefish doesn't have an English to Romulan option.

Van Helsing said...

Dodd and Kerry shouldn't take it so hard. Their party is still more relevant than the Green Party.

Rodney Dill said...

As Sen. Kerry reveals his sith name as Darth eVaider, Dodd ponders -- "Darn all the good sith names are taken, I guess I am stuck with Darth Doody."

Son Of The Godfather said...

OK, now "Darth eVader" is definitely worth something... V, show Rodney what he's won!...

I wish he would have been stuck with that moniker during '04!

ColoradoPatriot said...

American Idol just isn't the same without Simon.

ColoradoPatriot said...

Dodd and Dodderer

ColoradoPatriot said...

"Damn, John. Wielding all this power is pretty exhausting, isn't it?"

ColoradoPatriot said...

Obscure Childish College Game Reference:

"Dude. Doorknob!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Dodd is odd, but Kerry is scary.

Submariner said...

CP, Just be gald that Mikulski or Boxer didn't take Paula's seat for this pic!

Submariner said...

uh, make that gald = glad

Submariner said...

Uh, no, Ms. Coulter, I do not. Please end the histrionics and tell us; just what is the difference between "Sh!t" and "Shinola?"

Submariner said...

Damn; If I'm forced to sit through another Gore speach, I swear I'll convert to the Green Party!

Submariner said...

I drew Boxer, Dodd, but you drew Mikulski!

Submariner said...

Calgon; take me away!

Submariner said...

Kerry thought bubble, "Gotta blow, gotta blow, gotta blow right now. Gotta blow, gotta blow, gotta blow!"

Submariner said...

Kerry thought bubble; "Whoa! Grabbed Teresa's raisins this morning! Might not be such a boring afternoon, afterall..."

Submariner said...

Takin care of the "Niner" for my buddy SOTG -

V. check http://boortz.com/nuze/200601/01172006.html#gore for a pic just screaming for your talents.

Robert said...

Dodd and Kerry adopt a new, more mature strategy for dealing with the Bush Administration. They're going to hold their breath until the President withdraws the troops.

Submariner said...

That is absolutely the last time I trust Barney Frank to book a room for us!

Prough91 said...

After their "fact-finding" mission to Iraq, things were a little uncomfortable between Dodd and Kerry.

Shayne said...

"I'm sorry, John. I really thought I could pull out in time."

Rodney Dill said...

Given prough91's and shayne's excellent comments I guess that you make the movie.

Brokeback Hill

Rodney Dill said...

While Mr. Dodd hopes that press can't trace his bicycle back to him, Mr. Kerry prepares a press release to 'spill the beans.'

Submariner said...

Chrissy? Is it "i before e" or "e before i?" If I'm gonna release a statement bashing George for stupidity, I don't think I should mispell words...

Submariner said...

Try the new "Jackson's" for those heavy rainbow flow days.

lawhawk said...

Hey Dodd, did you know a Jack Bauer in college or something? He's running around shooting people and blowing 'em up with a cellphone. There's got to be a law against that somewhere that we can pin on an arrogant and corrupt Bushitler regime.

Dodd: Kerry, you ignorant slut, it's a frackin' tv show.

lawhawk said...

Couldn't keep up with Teddy, could you? Naw, me neither.

Rodney Dill said...

☯'s

Occasional Reader said...

"Hey, Mr. War Hero, you can hold your breath all you want, it's still right here in Robert's Rules of Order: 'Whoever denied it, supplied it'."

Mr. Right said...

To the disappointment of everyone at the Senate's annual talent show, The highly anticipated "My Favorite Martian" sketch bombed spectacularly with John Kerry's unconvincing portrayal of Bill Bixby's Tim O'Hara and Christopher "Uncle Martin" Dodd only able to raise one of his two antennae on cue.

bad-d-d-dude said...

Christopher, you're my friend, right? I can call you Chris, okay? Can I be vulnerable with you? It's long, stress-filled days in the Senate like today that . . . that take me back to my days in 'Nam, Christmas in Cambodia, the boat ride with the man wearing the hat, rescuing that fat guy that fell overboard, long hours editing my 8 mm camera film we shot for future use when I run for President as a warrior-dove kind of candidate.

bad-d-d-dude said...

Sen. Dodd, bored with his life as a Senator in the minority party, exercises his budding powers of mental telepathy to create the sensation of gas in an unsuspecting colleage-Sen. Kerry of Massachussets--who, by the way, fought in Vietnam.