1. One STD test later, he found out why it was black and white and red all over.
2."Dammit, Ling-Ling, I wish I knew how to quit you!"
3. "Look, Billy. We got you that stuffed panda you wanted."
4. Just like a man; eats, shoots and leaves.
5. "This is not what I meant when I asked for two bears goin' at it doggie style!" Andrew Sullivan was very unhappy with his Christmas cards.
6. "... and technically, they're not even bears." He went on.
7. And then another panda appeared and it turned into the weirdest commercial for Oreos Double-Stuff ever.
8. *ORA* "Blood orgy! Blood orgy!"
9. The National Zoo Shows Off It's Proud New Exhibits: Sully-Sully and Takei-Takei.
10. And then Bill-Bill said, "You might want to put some ice on that."
Best of Submariner
Why do I hate them? Can't you see that they're white on the left side of their faces and I'm white on the right side?
>slap!< Who's your daddy?
Best of Occasional Reader
I may be naked, and reeking of panda love, but I still have my dignity.
Best of Prough91
Do you know how hard it is to get it up when fifty guys with cameras are just waiting for you to get it on? Well, I guess Rodney Dill does.
Best of Rodney Dill
Something that size oughta beep when it backs up.
Best of ColoradoPatriot
Ling-Ling digs fat chicks.
All I can hear in my mind as I look at that picture is the tuba music that must have been playing as she was backing up.
Best of catbat
"Hm. what to make for dinner tonight? all we've got in the house is bamboo. i ought to do some tidying up, too. move the driftwood over there, tire swing over here... not that he'll ever notice. he didn't even say anything about my fur, and how long did i spend grooming today? hours! huh, i wonder if the vets'll be by to trim our nails soon. mine are getting long, and then they chip. and he could certainly use his teeth cleaned, too! and they wonder why i'm never in the mood. after this, i think i'll nap." et cetera.
Best of Cybrludite
However it all ended tragically when an 8 year old with a .243 capped both their asses.
Best of Van Helsing
"Honey, could you drop your shoulder a little? I can't see the TV."
Best of Racer Boy
"I'm Rick James, Bitch!"