1. "See, I like babies, but I'm not into men as such." Jodie Foster's search for sperm donors could be described as "informal."
2. "Just between you and me, John Hinckley is hot."
3. "Four your in-flight meal, you have a choice of mystery-meat with a side of fava beans and a nice chianti, or lasagne."
4. "Jodie, check out the stud in 22-F. He could put me in an upright and locked position any time."
5. "I am so sick and tired of you spoiled brat passengers and your constant whining. 'I want more peanuts!' 'I need a pillow!' 'The wing is on fire!' Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!"
6. "That Lithgow guy in 14-A is really starting to freak me out." (ORA)
7. "... and, furthermore, having Channel 6 on the headsets devoted to John Denver's Greatest Hits is just tacky."
8. "There seems to be some commotion in Coach. Does anyone know what 'Allahu Akhbar' means?"
9. "The other passangers quit when we got to 72 bottles of beer on the wall. Make them sing, damn you!"
10. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but the captain finished off the vodka before we even backed away from the gate."
Best of Cybrludite
"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing." "The One Ring?" "No, Jodie. Your acting talent."
Best of Submariner
I don't care if you think it's "phallocentric," we will continue to refer to that as "the cockpit," Jodie, not the "panic room." (At least not in front of the passengers...)
Jodie felt sorry for the majority of the passengers, knowing they would make the mistake of staying awake as the plane flew through the portal...
I don't want to alarm anyone, but I just noticed that George Kennedy is on board.
Come to the cock-pit with me hon. You've been elected to inflate the "auto-pilot," if you know what I mean...
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Excuse me... Perhaps I can help... I speak Jive..."
"Everytime I put on my headphones to listen to the Arecibo channel, I keep hearing this 'whoosh' sound in a funny little pattern."
"Tell me Clarice, do the lambs still scream?"
"Mmm-hmm... Thank-you-for-flying, buh bye."
Best of Rodney Dill
"I'm gonna punch that midget in 5A if he says 'the plane, the plane,' just one more time."
"But isn't Emergency Blow submarine terminology?"
Best of Lyn
We've been ... Left Behind!
And quit calling me Shirley.
Best of Van Helsing
"The passenger in seats 13A through C farted again." "Dammit, why can't Michael Moore take a private jet like other limousine liberals?"
Best of lawhawk
I knew it was a bad idea when you have Boromir on board in the presence of My Precious....
Best of sonicfrog
Well, damn it. Of coarse I ate her! What's the big deal? What did you expect me to do, eat the crappy airline food??? Hannabal is my father after all. And you're the brainiac that sat her right next to me on a long trans-Atlantic filght.
Best of Prough91
You have got to quit the hand job, people are looking.
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Don't look now, but Eminem is eavesdropping on us!"
Best of Kevin Walker
Dang it! I meant "There may be fifty ways to leave your [b]lover[/b], but there are only six ways out of this plane."
This one was just blatantly stolen from Mr. Cranky