Friday, January 27, 2006

Cinema Friday, Mile High Club Edition

1. "See, I like babies, but I'm not into men as such." Jodie Foster's search for sperm donors could be described as "informal."

2. "Just between you and me, John Hinckley is hot."

3. "Four your in-flight meal, you have a choice of mystery-meat with a side of fava beans and a nice chianti, or lasagne."

4. "Jodie, check out the stud in 22-F. He could put me in an upright and locked position any time."

5. "I am so sick and tired of you spoiled brat passengers and your constant whining. 'I want more peanuts!' 'I need a pillow!' 'The wing is on fire!' Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!"

6. "That Lithgow guy in 14-A is really starting to freak me out." (ORA)

7. "... and, furthermore, having Channel 6 on the headsets devoted to John Denver's Greatest Hits is just tacky."

8. "There seems to be some commotion in Coach. Does anyone know what 'Allahu Akhbar' means?"

9. "The other passangers quit when we got to 72 bottles of beer on the wall. Make them sing, damn you!"

10. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but the captain finished off the vodka before we even backed away from the gate."

Best of Cybrludite
"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing." "The One Ring?" "No, Jodie. Your acting talent."

Best of Submariner
I don't care if you think it's "phallocentric," we will continue to refer to that as "the cockpit," Jodie, not the "panic room." (At least not in front of the passengers...)

Jodie felt sorry for the majority of the passengers, knowing they would make the mistake of staying awake as the plane flew through the portal...

I don't want to alarm anyone, but I just noticed that George Kennedy is on board.

Come to the cock-pit with me hon. You've been elected to inflate the "auto-pilot," if you know what I mean...

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Excuse me... Perhaps I can help... I speak Jive..."

"Everytime I put on my headphones to listen to the Arecibo channel, I keep hearing this 'whoosh' sound in a funny little pattern."

"Tell me Clarice, do the lambs still scream?"

"Mmm-hmm... Thank-you-for-flying, buh bye."

Best of Rodney Dill
"I'm gonna punch that midget in 5A if he says 'the plane, the plane,' just one more time."

"But isn't Emergency Blow submarine terminology?"

Best of Lyn
We've been ... Left Behind!

And quit calling me Shirley.

Best of Van Helsing
"The passenger in seats 13A through C farted again." "Dammit, why can't Michael Moore take a private jet like other limousine liberals?"

Best of lawhawk
I knew it was a bad idea when you have Boromir on board in the presence of My Precious....

Best of sonicfrog
Well, damn it. Of coarse I ate her! What's the big deal? What did you expect me to do, eat the crappy airline food??? Hannabal is my father after all. And you're the brainiac that sat her right next to me on a long trans-Atlantic filght.

Best of Prough91
You have got to quit the hand job, people are looking.

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Don't look now, but Eminem is eavesdropping on us!"

Best of Kevin Walker
Dang it! I meant "There may be fifty ways to leave your [b]lover[/b], but there are only six ways out of this plane."

This one was just blatantly stolen from Mr. Cranky

46 comments:

Cybrludite said...

(ORA) No, dammit, I don't know what colour the boat house at Herford is! Now stop trying to ambush me with a cup of coffee.

Cybrludite said...

It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing.

The One Ring?

No, Jodie. Your acting talent.

Submariner said...

ORA:

Chickopee, chickopee...

Submariner said...

Uh, no. We refer to that at "the cockpit," Jodie, not the "panic room." (At least not in front of the passengers...)

Submariner said...

Yes, miss. This "non-stop" lands at O'Hare at 9:28 and then continues to LAX at 11:14. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

Submariner said...

ORA:

Jodie felt sorry for the majority of the passengers, knowing they would make the mistake of staying awake as the plane flew through the portal...

Submariner said...

Whoooooaaaaaa! Isn't that George Takei in 11D?

Submariner said...

ORA:

I don't want to alarm anyone, but I just noticed that George Kennedy is on board.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Excuse me... Perhaps I can help... I speak Jive..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Everytime I put on my headphones to listen to the Arecibo channel, I keep hearing this 'whoosh' sound in a funny little pattern."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Jody swaps bodies with a pilot in Freakier Saturday

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Tell me Clarice, do the lambs still scream?"

Rodney Dill said...

"No, no, I meant Her. The Plane is not going down."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"See, it's the white guys who are the terrorists on this plane. The Middle-Eastern guys are good guys... It's an ironic plot twist!... But of course, by my pointing out the irony, that makes me a racist."

Rodney Dill said...

"I'm gonna punch that midget in 5A if he says 'the plane, the plane,' just one more time."

Lyn said...

We've been Left Behind!

Lyn said...

And quit calling me Shirley.

Lyn said...

Get off of my plane.

Lyn said...

Everyone, assume crash positions.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Trying to whisper: "Jeeez! I said, the toilets are out of paper!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Mmm-hmm... Thank-you-for-flying, buh bye."

AM42 said...

Inspired by V's #6:

"I don't know which is worse... that the captain of this flight is Dan Ackroyd, or that he just asked me if I wanted to see something really scary."

Son Of The Godfather said...

The crash sight would later be honored with "The Sickle of Tolerance" memorial.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"'Scuse me... Star Jones has been in the toilet for about an hour, and I DON'T want to be breathing the same air when she's through... Anyway I could get bumped down to coach?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"How do I get back to my seat?"

"Baby steps, Ellie..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"..So I tell the judge that Hinckley's GOT to be insane... Getting all hot for me watching that Taxi Driver movie when he could have watched Bugsy Malone, which was full of little kids!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I don't think it's appropriate for you to show the President's state of the union address in-flight."

"Well, you're welcomed to step outside, Ms. Foster."

Submariner said...

Come to the cock-pit with me hon. You've been elected to inflate the "auto-pilot," if you know what I mean...

Rodney Dill said...

"But isn't Emergency Blow submarine terminology?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"We were coming in low above Macho Grande..."

Submariner said...

Mornin' SOTG. Been missing your efforts. BTW - did you notice we left you a NINER down at boyfinger? heh

The Man said...

Everyone put your seat belts, this movie is headed straight to video.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Aren't there any chicks on this flight?"

(Mornin' Sub, rounded off boyfinger since we can't leave a niner!)

(and "the man"... "straight to video"... good one!)

Van Helsing said...

"The passenger in seats 13A through C farted again."

"Dammit, why can't Michael Moore take a private jet like other limousine liberals?"

lawhawk said...

I knew it was a bad idea when you have Boromir on board in the presence of My Precious....

Sean Miller: Just as long as Jack Ryan isn't around, I'm good to go.

Submariner said...

We have a potential 'situation'; Ollie North is in 6B and Cindy Sheehan is in 6C...

Son Of The Godfather said...

In-flight intercom: In the event of depressurization, an oxygen mask will drop from the ceiling in front of you. First, secure your own breathing apparatus, then that of any children accompanying you. Next, read a good book or catch up on a crossword puzzle... Do your nails or comb your hair. Finally secure the oxygen mask of any liberal you may be seated next to. Feel free to have fun with his or her air tube.

Submariner said...

Well my broker is E.F. Hutton and he says...

sonicfrog said...

Well, damn it. Of coarse I ate her! What's the big deal? What did you expect me to do, eat the crappy airline food??? Hannabal is my father after all. And you're the brainiac that sat her right next to me on a long trans-Atlantic filght.

Rodney Dill said...

"Good to go... good to go... good to go..."
"I know of 18 minutes I'd like to be missing."

Prough91 said...

Why, yes, that is a huge zit.

Josh sucked at staring contests.

Is this the plane to the Black Bloc convention?

You have got to quit the hand job, people are looking.

Jonathan said...

"Don't look now, but Eminem is eavesdropping on us!"

Submariner said...

V. re your #1:

Giggidy, giggidy, I'll volunteer...

Submariner said...

ORA:

Billy Idol - "Well, bloke. After hearing that song I'd suggest finding another line of work 'cause it's unlikely you'll ever proceed past singin' at receptions..."

Kevin Walker said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kevin Walker said...

Dang it! I meant "There may be fifty ways to leave your [b]lover[/b], but there are only six ways out of this plane."