1. "Yes, the hot glue burns a little at first, but do you want to be Little Miss Oshkosh, or not?"
2. "How the hell did you get a Go'a'uld mind control device stuck on your temple?"
3. "I'm gonna need a price check on Aisle 4."
4. "Yeah, she was about a quart low, but she'll be fine soon as I get this 10W30 into her."
5. "Dammit, which kid are you again? Here, I gotta scan your bar code."
6. "Good girl! Mommy's 'Circus of Head Lice' just moved another step closer to reality."
7. "Mmmm-hmm, I heard you, you're four months pregnant and showing, that's nice dear. Hey, your sister's body temperature is exactly 98.7. Ain't that somethin'?"
8. "There's a small micro-fracture in your positronic neural-net. Have Geordi check it out."
9. "Hey! I paid good money on QVC for this Home Phrenology Kit, so by-god we're going to use it."
10. Years later, Andrea would learn that there was no such thing as a 'Dork Detector,' but by that time, the damage had already been done.
From the usual source of hometown Americana who have got to have figured me out by now if they're serving up stuff like this.