Boyfinger Goes Black (I Hope He Never Comes Back)

1. "Driver! Take me to the Black Bloc!"

2. The Emir of Kuwait's sudden death from heart attack occurred at the end of Boyfinger's performance of the Dance of the Seven Veils.

3. Boyfinger's been dating a lot more since Highlights magazine added a personals ads section.

4. "Oh, Driver? Do I look like Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice?"

5. "Thank you, driver. If you hear any screams that sound like a child being sodomized in the back seat, it's just me rehearsing 'Man in the Mirror'."

6. The pop star offers ices/And hopes the boy will not resists/When he tries to practices/Few people even know exist --- Apologies to E. Gorey.

7. "A is for Ahmed, smothered in mustard/B is for Blanket, whose rectum was ruptured... --- More apologies to E. Gorey

8. Boyfinger's Hallowe'en costume, the Island Monster from Lost.

9. The camera never lies. The boy is clearly labeled 'Toy.'

10. "Take Me to the headquarters of the N-A-M-B-L... well, spelling it out doesn't make much sense, now, does it?"

Best of Rodney Dill
"Will Mr. Death be joining you later?"

Best of Divine miss M
"Billie Jean is not my lover/She's just a girl who claims that I am the one/who stole her abaya."

Best of Submariner
Good Ahmed. Did you stock the limo with Je... er, uh, Muhammed Juice?

Sagging, bagging pants? Oh no you will not! I'll not have a son of mine leaving the mansion looking like a freak...

Louis; after you drop him off, see if you can round me up a smelly pirate cabin-boy for some shiverin of me timber, if you know what I mean...

Best of The Man
Andrew Sullivan knows how Jackson's boy feels. Whenever he goes on dates, his boyfriend has him cover his head in public to avoid being seen with him.

Best of Occasional Reader
I'll pass on the "I may be [condition] and reeking of [substance], but I still have my dignity" meme for this one.

Best of V the K
"So, Blanket, how did you enjoy your first day at Brokeback Day Care?"

Best of Big_Iron
"We're off to see the Imam, the wondeful Imam of Ooze!

Best of Prough91
Michael was so embarrassed when he showed up at the rally wearing the wrong color sheet.

Sith Lord traveling with his midget executioner.

Best of Van Helsing
Doesn't the kid get a last lollipop before Death drives him off to the firing squad?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"He arrived a few weeks ago. We have no idea who he is, so we call him 'John P.Doe'. We're keeping numerous records of his antics with young children... We're calling it the 'P.Doe File'."

AssPress Photo from Excite news on a Tip from Divine Miss M.