1. "Not in the ear! Not in the ear! How many times do I have to tell you, you stupid bitch! Not in the ear!"
2. "Do not take the brown morning-after pills. Repeat.Stay away from the brown morning-after pills."
3. "Ah, breaker one-nine, this here's the Rubber Duck. You gotta copy on me, Pig Pen, c'mon? Ah, yeah, 10-4, Pig Pen, fer shure, fer shure. Yeah, that's a big 10-4 there, Pig Pen, yeah, we definitely got the front door, good buddy. Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy..."
4. "All right, next question: Ellen, or Rosie?"
5. "All right, fellow smelly pirates hookers. Who's up for some bawdy sea chanties?"
6. "Okay, I think we have our winner in the 'Most Retarded Hat' competition."
7. "Heeeere she is....Miss Bir-ken-stock...."
8. "You better hold that closer, my Miracle Ear just crapped out again."
Best of Lyn
1 dolla bid a bid a 1 dolla, who'll give me 2... 2 dolla? 2 dolla bid who'll bid a 2 dolla?
Yes, I suffer from furniture disease. That's when my chest drops down to my drawers.
Best of Jonathan H
"Attention, attention. If you have lost a coat hanger, please come forward and identify it to get it back."
"Attention, there is a 1960 Volkswagen Bus with their lights on."
Best of Rufus Leaking
Wow, the guys at my Ikea never demonstrate how to use the hangers! They just let ya buy 'em and figure out how to use them yourself!
Best of Rodney Dill
"Yes, yes, we're just for rumpled clothes, piled in a heap on the floor. Don't hang up nothin'."
Best of Cybrludite
The one in the pink hat is the "teenaged catholic shcoolgirl" you were wanking with on IM last night...
Best of Submariner
Yes, I put a rolled sock in each pocket for the "Andrew's" in the crowd. Next question?
We are focusing the anti-Rovian ray from this hand-held field unit so everyone can remove there tin-foil for the news crews. I repeat. It is now safe to remove all foil-wear for the news crew footage...
Hillary? Senator Hillary Rodham? Your keys were drawn, so come on up and get your girl.
And we find it not only wrong, but morally reprehensible to fish your own keys out of a locked car...
"I'm, too sexy for my sweatshirt, too sexy for my sweatshirt, so sexy it hurts..."
Best of Van Helsing
Not only does the coathanger symbolize enthusiasm for abortion, it can also be used to recieve signals from the benevolent beings from outer space, which are then helpfully translated for the audience.
Best of Mr. Right
More than twenty years after its initial release, crowds of enthusiastic fans would still gather from far and wide for midnight screenings of "Mommie Dearest"...
"And we have a message for The Little Dutch Boy: We're coming for you, assh**e!"
Photos From Zombie