Monday, January 23, 2006

And now for something slightly different

1. "I just cut one."

2. Sex and the way it was before science discovered nudity.

3. "And now class, as you can see, the penis is more or less fully erect."

4. "Oh, big deal, so the kid walked in on us. I'm sure it won't traumatize him, but just to be sure, I'll send him to herd sheep on Brokeback Mountain with those two cowboys. That should make a man out of him."

5. "When you wear corduroy, your entire body is ribbed for her pleasure." A message from the Corduroy Council.

6. "Well, if you weren't such an unfaithful ho, Mack Daddy wouldn'ta had to bash yo' face against the headboard, beeyotch."

7. "Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

8. "All right, bring in Hoss and Little Joe and let the bukkake begin!"

9. "The safety word is 'banana.'"

10. Frottage Fetishists of the O-o-o-o-l-d West.

Best of Submariner
Heath and Jake loved it when the girls left for a full day of shopping leaving them time to take turns playing dress-up as the "Ranch Biyotch."

"Why, why, why, Delilah?"

Oh, oh, oooh, crap! But don't you worry darlin, the "South will rise again."

Best of Rodney Dill
"That's sweet dear, but I'm still not telling you where I hid the remote."

"Oh Dear, I think I just Shat myself."

Best of The Man
Andrew Sullivan woke up from another one of his Anthony Franciosa dreams.

Best of Occasional Reader
"I do NOT look like Gene Wilder in 'Young Frankenstein'! SAY IT!"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Heterosexual man and woman, speaking words of love to each other... It'd NEVER fly in today's Hollywood.

"Darling, I don't want to kill the mood, but you have a gi-normous nose-goblin hangin' there..."

Judith was so ashamed about what she had been doing with Bill, she killed herself with poison.
A week later, Bill was so ashamed about what he had been doing with Judith, he buried her.

Best of Rufus Leaking
"But it wouldn't be premarital sex - I have absolutely NO intention of marrying you."

Best of Drew
Rhett, hold up there. My chastity ring seems to be caught in your zipper.

Best of jeff
Julia Roberts, staring in a Gene Wilder fantasy...

Best of Cybrludite
I can see her laying back in a satin dress, in a room where you do what you don't confess...

Best of Van Helsing
"Oh Darling. I love how my left breast swells when you gouge your elbow into my right one."


It comes from Yarrrr

31 comments:

Submariner said...

I think we're still 1 ewe, 1 camel, 16 Rockette's of questionable sexuality, 2 negroes, 1 Geisha, 2 hispanics and 1 cabana-girl short of being able to garantee Hillary won't be able to resist our "Congressional Plantation Fantasy" package...

Submariner said...

OK, Juanita, now you say "ay-yi-YI, Poppi..."

Submariner said...

Tom Jones busts a move.

Submariner said...

Heath and Jake loved it when the girls left for a full day of shopping leaving them time to take turns playing dress-up as the "Ranch Biyotch."

Submariner said...

Deanna loved the holo-deck when Will went all Wild, Wild West on her...

Rodney Dill said...

"That's sweet dear, but I'm still not telling you where I hid the remote."

Submariner said...

ORA:

"Why, why, why, Delilah?"

Submariner said...

"You mean I paid extra for the Rhett Butler fantasy and you paid extra for a Scarlet O'Hara fantasy? Who the hell is the professional?"

"Jes' a minit - jes' a damn minit! Buttlerfly's a comin'"

Submariner said...

Oh, oh, oooh, crap! But don't you worry darlin, the "South will rise again."

The Man said...

Andrew Sullivan woke up from another one of his Anthony Franciosa dreams.

Submariner said...

Go ahead, Scarlett. Rub it and make a wish.

Rodney Dill said...

"Sorry darling, I already sold my virginity on e-Bay."

Occasional Reader said...

"I do NOT look like Gene Wilder in 'Young Frankenstein'! SAY IT!"

OT: V the K, it will be a crime against man and nature if you do not post the following for captions:

http://www.moonbatmonitor.blog-city.com/galloway_hits_bottom_gets_jackhammer_continues_digging.htm

Son Of The Godfather said...

Heterosexual man and woman, speaking words of love to each other... It'd NEVER fly in today's Hollywood.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Taxidermy had it's little-known benefits... Now she would be immortal AND submit to his every carnal whim.

Son Of The Godfather said...

By the time they got all their clothes off, they'd been colorized.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Darling, I don't want to kill the mood, but you have a gi-normous nose-goblin hangin' there..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA from a suggestion above:
"No tongues!"

Damn you, Sub. Now I gots me that Delilah song stuck in my head!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sex before marriage:
Judith was so ashamed about what she had been doing with Bill, she killed herself with poison.
A week later, Bill was so ashamed about what he had been doing with Judith, he buried her.

Ha cha cha, the old jokes always woik!

Rufus Leaking said...

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex - I have absolutely NO intention of marrying you."

Submariner said...

SOTG - anything for a buddy... heh

Submariner said...

ORA:

I'm sorry, Bart, but you misunderstood me. I said I'm a Virginian.

Drew said...

Rhett, hold up there. My chastity ring seems to be caught in your zipper.

Drew said...

You weren't kidding. Your eyeballs are in fact missing! You should try to retrace in your head everywhere you've been today... it works sometimes when I lose my keys.

jeff said...

Julia Roberts, staring in a Gene Wilder fantasy...

Submariner said...

Meanwhile in the next room, grandma kept beatin' off the Indians. But they kept comin' and comin' and comin...

Submariner said...

Gene Wilder - "What if your father comes home and catches us like this?"
Liv Tyler - "Don't worry, he's on TV with George Galloway pimping a new lycra work-out wear line..."

Rodney Dill said...

"Oh Dear, I think I just Shat myself."

Cybrludite said...

(Obscure music reference!) I can see her laying back in a satin dress, in a room where you do what you don't confess...

Van Helsing said...

"Oh Darling. I love how my left breast swells when you gouge your elbow into my right one."

Submariner said...

Cybr - funny, but I always pictured Sundown as a sunset red-head...