Saturday, January 21, 2006

The Adventures of Rajeesh, The East Indian Fireman

1. "You mean I get to choose from whom to receive the lap dance. By Vishnu, this is a no-brainer."

2. The emergency room receptionists aren't buying Rajeesh's story of how it came to be stuck in the water bottle.

3. "Now, children, Rajeesh is going to read the story of Princess Clitoria and the Den of Unspeakable Pleasure.

4. "We'll be happy to take your big deposit Mr. Rajneesh, but there will be a substantial and naughty penalty for early withdrawal.

5. "Oh, so you just look like a Mexican. Well, in that case, welcome to First Security Bank, how can we help you? Gina, cancel the 911."

6. "Oh, and this must be the money from your casino. What do you mean 'not that kind of Indian?'"

7. "And then I finish you off with kind of a twisting motion, like this. So, what do you say? Shall I get the Jergen's lotion?"

8. "Sorry for the misunderstanding. Most of the time when a man in a fireman's outfit shows up, it's just a Strip-O-Gram."

9. "All right, ladies, I will put the donation water bottle up at the fire house. Now, may I extinguish the blazing inferno in the employee's lounge."

10. "Why do you find it so funny that I come from Bangalore?"

Best of Prough91
Get your hand off the end lady! I'm going to blow!

Best of WALSTIB
Is that a 5 gallon jug between your legs or are you just REALLY glad to see us?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Cheech Marin: Firefighter

Bruce Valanche finds himself in a charitable mood.

"How 'bout a nice cool drink from the thing between my legs?"

Best of Submariner
Fireman's thought bubble; "If she strokes the neck of that bottle one more time I'm getting the hell out of here!

Let's just say that I have a better "interest rate" with attractive chicks...

So, Mr. Rajneesh; I want to be a fireman too! Can you teach me to handle that hose?

Best of Cybrludite
Sooo, would either of you ladies care to discover how curry powder is similar to asparagus?

Best of CJ
"Let's have lunch. We can go to that new Deli. Oh! New Deli. I miss my home."

From the newspaper in my quiet, little pissant, redneck, podunk, jerk-water, green-horn, one-horse, crud-hole, right-wing, inbred, unkept, out-of-date, white-trash, kick-ass.. Midwest Toowwwwn!

P.S. Hi-diddly-ho to any HughHewitt-a-rinos who wandered over from Blogs4Bauer. Pretty shocking, isn't it?

25 comments:

racer boy said...

Mustache rides, 25 cents!

Rodney Dill said...

"Donation for a new hose, lady?"
"Ok, but jees, they make prosthetic everything these days."

Prough91 said...

Get your hand off the end lady! I'm going to blow!

To himself: Why do I only get the fat pirate hookers?

Ernie was wearing full protection.

Anonymous said...

Is that a 5 gallon jug between your legs or are you just REALLY glad to see us?
-WALSTIB

Anonymous said...

Elephantitis Genitalia? Down the hall on the left.
-WALSTIB

Son Of The Godfather said...

I heard this works with a hole in the bottom of a popcorn tub at the movies... why not a water bottle at the bank?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Put Edwina... back in bottle?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Cheech Marin: Firefighter

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Yes ma'am, I am a little 'dirty' from fighting fires... And my name does happen to be 'Sanchez'... Why do you ask?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Pop your cork, mister?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Fireman thought bubble: "Yeah, ya heffer, if you'd only donate the daily money you spend on the Haagen-das..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Well, Mr.Juarez, we couldn't loan you the money for a new firehouse because of some... err... 'flags' we use for, you know, your kind... But here's 67 cents to get you started, and best of luck to you... Security?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Bruce Valanche finds himself in a charitable mood.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"How 'bout a nice cool drink from the thing between my legs?"

Submariner said...

Fireman's thought bubble; "If she strokes the neck of that bottle one more time I'm getting the hell out of here!

Submariner said...

Let's just say that I have a better "interest rate" with attractive chicks...

Submariner said...

hmmmm, "Compound my interest" with the two of you in the vault? OK.

Submariner said...

No, we got rid of dalmations in favor of "one-eyed trouser snakes." Would you ladies like to see 'im?

Submariner said...

No, no... McGruff likes is "rrrrrruff!" I just like it hot and steamy.

Submariner said...

Eileen, "So, how about it? You know Me and Julio, down by the school yard."

Juanita, "Eileen, you're so funny! You know you can't eat Mexican on your diet..."

Submariner said...

Look lady, I appreciate the offer and all, but I already get enough lard in my burritos...

Submariner said...

Well what do you know? I thought "chew the fat" was only a synonym for talking...

Submariner said...

So, Mr. Rajneesh; I want to be a fireman too! Can you teach me to handle that hose?

Submariner said...

While Tommy waited in the car, Cheech gathered contributions for the "Stoned Mountin' Project."

Cybrludite said...

Sooo, would either of you ladies care to discover how curry powder is similar to asparagus?