Friday, December 23, 2005

Twas the Perverted Capfest Before Christmas

1. Howard Hughes angrily demands that the youth return his urine jars.

2. Everyone agreed Helen Thomas looked smashing in her new top hat.

3. Wouldn't Scrooge have been a much cooler movie if Ebeneezer had been a giant ape who terrorized the city? What do you mean, 'No?'

4. "Tiny Tim! Get your ass back in front of that webcam right now! We've got 600 subscribers to CrippedKinkCamboi-dot-com who paid good money to see you naked with a Black Lab!"

5. But when he pulled it, there was nothing but a puff of dust and a scent of weak gruel.

6. "Every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart." Suddenly, the police had an unexpected clue to that spree of bizarre prostitute murders in Yorkshire.

7. "Get out of here boy! There's only enough room on this handcart for me and my three wives to get to Salt Lake City."

8. "You swapped my 92 Geo Metro for this wagon? Damn, Tiny Tim, you're a better negotiator than I thought!"

9. "Take my hand/Take my whole life,too/But I can't help/Falling in love with you..."

Best of Kevin Walker
"Tiny Tim! I am in need of a smelly pirate hooker! Fetch me one this instand, biatch!"

"All right! Who took my collection of vaguely homoerotic football and wrestling pictures? Was it you, Tiny Tim?"

Best of lawhawk
Release the hounds...

You.. yes you behind the bandstand... stand still with it.. How can you have any pudding and still eat your meat?

Best of bubbalove
"I say, Mum! It's 'arry Reid! What the bloody 'ell is 'e doin' 'ere?!" "SHUTUP YOU WORTHLESS URCHIN! BAAAAH!"

Best of Cybrludite
And now, Young Jedi, you will die!

Best of Prough91
You've got to be this tall to ride Scrooge.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Gary Glitter makes his selection in this photo from Reuters, Cambodia.

Best of Submariner
Quentin Tarrantino's Tiny-Tim finale was oddly reminiscent of Gallagher's "Sledge-o-matic" routine...

Back when Jake and I were young we had a "Christmas Pudding" together worth remembering!

Joan Rivers finally reached the point where she could not have another lift.

20 comments:

Van Helsing said...

"When I get ahold of that punk who replaced my dentures with Chattering Teeth, I'll..."

Kevin Walker said...

"Tiny Tim! I am in need of a smelly pirate hooker! Fetch me one this instand, biatch!"

"All right! Who took my collection of vaguely homoerotic football and wrestling pictures? Was it you, Tiny Tim?"

lawhawk said...

Release the hounds...

You.. yes you behind the bandstand... stand still with it.. How can you have any pudding and still eat your meat?

bubbalove said...

"I say, Mum! It's 'arry Reid! What the bloody 'ell is 'e doin' 'ere?!"
"SHUTUP YOU WORTHLESS URCHIN! BAAAAH!" No matter how far he traveled, the former Senator Reid could never escape the repercussions of the Democrats' utter, humiliating defeat back in '06.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF US AND THOSE LIKE US! - Bubbalove

Cybrludite said...

And now, Young Jedi, you will die! (Cue the force lightning)

Cybrludite said...

Old Whateley catches his grandson Wilbur after he tried to run away from Dunwich.

Prough91 said...

You've got to be this tall to ride Scrooge.

Rodney Dill said...

"Fake clone, Get 'im"

Rodney Dill said...

"MFC"

Rodney Dill said...

"Sorry Mr. A. Clu I didn't mean to say I actually believed in Intelligent Design."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Brilliant! His plan to get the Ghost of Christmas Future to sneak a peak at what was to come had worked. One little look at the commodities market from a future paper, and I'd be a changed man too!

(V, your #5... Damn, you the man! LOL)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Gary Glitter makes his selection in this photo from Reuters, Cambodia.

Submariner said...

Tonight on "Where Are They Now?"

Tommy Tune

Submariner said...

Literary ORA:

"Out! Out, damned spot!"

Submariner said...

Quentin Tarrantino shocked audiences with his consolidation of "A Christmas Carole" and "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." The Tiny-Tim finale was oddly reminiscent of Gallagher's "Sledge-o-matic" routine...

Submariner said...

Tiny Tim! I pay more taxes than any of that rabble! Go obtain a plethora of those $2K Katrina Cards for me.

Submariner said...

Ah, yes. Back when Jake and I were young we had a "Christmas Pudding" together worth remembering!

Submariner said...

As predicted, Joan Rivers finally reached the point where she could not have another lift. "I'll get back on that red carpet! Just you wait!"

Submariner said...

Ebbie vows a new outlook, auditions for Manudo.

Submariner said...

Sen. Byrd exclaimed "That one. That one right there called me a racist. String him up, Tiny Tim."