Thursday, December 15, 2005

Thursday's Harlot

1. How 'Put out or get out' works when you're dating Chuck Yeager.

2. Ah, she'll be fine. Her airbags have already deployed.

3. Caution: Plummeting Figureheads.

4. "Well, that was weird. I'll just try to land between the bowl of petunias and the sperm whale carcass." (O.R.A.)

5. "It's rainin' skanks/Hallelujah!/It's rainin' skanks..."

6. When one of Hef's babes hits 24, he sends them to Bob Guccione by catapult.

7. "When, I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation of plummeting to certain death from 30,000 feet into a mountain glade. Also, I have ginormous titties."

8. "Oinnnnnk! Oinnnnnk! Wheeeeeeeeee!" The remake of Deliverance may not have been true to the spirit of the original film, but on the other hand...

9. I don't wanna sound queer or nothing, but no matter how nice her breasts and butt are, I can't get past the fact that she has Adam Sandler's haircut from Little Nicky.

9 1/2. "Popeye's chicken is f***kin' awesome!"

10. I still think five thousand push-ups is a harsh penalty for one tasteless Matthew Shepard caption.

Once again, stolen from another caption contest at Mr.Cranky

17 comments:

Cybrludite said...

(ORA! I suspect this will only make sense if you know the original Aeon Flux series...)

The Australian Rules Football Association never did figure out just why their "Are You Ready For Some Footie?" ads provoked such snickering from animation fans.

Submariner said...

Tonight: Pregnant parachutist plummets to pavement!
(The WB always spices up their simulations a bit.

Submariner said...

(Bottom photo)

The fluffer is done. I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. Demille.

Rufus Leaking said...

She could not read her chest mounted altimeter, and she remembered the old adage, 'When people look like ants, pull. When ants look like people, don't bother.'

Prough91 said...

Charliz Theron tries to pick her career up off the ground.

Prough91 said...

Charlize mimics her last career move.

Rufus Leaking said...

You call that Adam Sandler's haircut? I think its more like Emo Philips haircut!

occasional reader said...

Occasional Reader briefly wondered why the V the K even noticed Charlize's haircut, before going back to staring at her boobs.

occasional reader said...

[By the way, V the K, you might want to reconsider that "Reaganite" link on your blogroll; I clicked on it thinking it might be our eponymous friend from LGF, and, ah, it ain't. It's some pretty nasty pr0n stuff.]

Submariner said...

"...giggidy, giggidy; I'd Flux her."
Quagmire

Submariner said...

(top photo)

Aeon discovered a method of using queefs for propulsion...

Submariner said...

(bottom photo)

Nothin, nothin. Just working up some video footage for my French News application. you?

Van Helsing said...

Top picture:

"I know what I forgot: my parachute!"

bubbalove said...

Top Photo:
"Look! Look! I can fly better than Keanu did in his movies! See? See!?"

or

Charlize takes to the air in fright after one of the crew wearing a demon costume surprised her outside the port-a-johns.

or

Here, Charlize can be seen in free-fall attempting to reach a faster terminal velocity than her plummeting career...

V - #1 is too funny! LMAO!

Prough91 said...

It's raining sluts, hallelujah, it's raining sluts.

Submariner said...

Thought I had something about gravity causing boobs to droop, but no...

lawhawk said...

Skin tight catsuit? $150.
Free fall and cool special fx? $350,000.

Failing to be as cool as Carrie Anne Moss in the original Matrix - Priceless.

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You'd have thought I'd learned my lesson from 2 days in the valley. This isn't going to end well.