1. How 'Put out or get out' works when you're dating Chuck Yeager.
2. Ah, she'll be fine. Her airbags have already deployed.
3. Caution: Plummeting Figureheads.
4. "Well, that was weird. I'll just try to land between the bowl of petunias and the sperm whale carcass." (O.R.A.)
5. "It's rainin' skanks/Hallelujah!/It's rainin' skanks..."
6. When one of Hef's babes hits 24, he sends them to Bob Guccione by catapult.
7. "When, I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation of plummeting to certain death from 30,000 feet into a mountain glade. Also, I have ginormous titties."
8. "Oinnnnnk! Oinnnnnk! Wheeeeeeeeee!" The remake of Deliverance may not have been true to the spirit of the original film, but on the other hand...
9. I don't wanna sound queer or nothing, but no matter how nice her breasts and butt are, I can't get past the fact that she has Adam Sandler's haircut from Little Nicky.
9 1/2. "Popeye's chicken is f***kin' awesome!"
10. I still think five thousand push-ups is a harsh penalty for one tasteless Matthew Shepard caption.
Once again, stolen from another caption contest at Mr.Cranky