1. "Damn it! Looks like some hippes have set up camp in the ditch outside my ranch. Better break out the old hockey mask and fire up the wood chipper."
2. Cheney snarled. "What kind of wuss needs a chainsaw to dismember a corpse?"
3. "Nope. No gay cowboys around here. Not anymore."
4. "I'm ready. Is Hillary's armpit hair ready?"
5. It went against the better judgment of the rest of the administration, but Dick Cheney insisted that his Adrienne Barbeau-bot would be equipped with chainsaw hands.
6. "Geez Cheney, leave some zombies for the rest of us, gosh!"
7. President Bush prepares to take Heather Chandler up on her offer.
8. "Sure, go ahead. Tell the police the President of the United States trashed your camper with a chainsaw. I'm so sure they'll totally believe you!"
9. W always made such a production out of meeting Barb and Jenna's new boyfriends.
10. "You're a pussy, Nugent. Let me show you how a real man hunts a bear."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Come with me if you want to live."
With Pelosi, Reid, and Boxer given their headstart, George set out to hunt the most dangerous game.
Best of Rodney Dill
Dubya: "I done, I just cut a cord of wood today."
Reporter: "Doesn't sound like much with a chainsaw, but I guess you're concerned with conserving gas."
Dubya: "This uses gas?"
Best of catbat
"bzzzzzzz! there go my nipples again."
Best of Bubbalove
Here, President Bush can be seen during his screen test for his Hollywood debut flick "I Dismember Democrats'.
Best of Submariner
OK. You three - Kerry, Reid, Kennedy - we're gonna play a little game. Kennedy? Let me hear you squeal like a pig...
Oh Hillary? I've got a weight reduction program for you that is 100% SURE to remove at least 25 pounds before the 2006 campaign season...
Just think, if the nation screwed up the election, you'd be talkin to a man with a Vidal Sassoon hair dryer on his hip instead...
Best of ColoradoPatriot
"PATRIOT Act vote? Yeah, 220...221; whatever it takes."
Best of Prough91
Who says Dubya ain't tough? He's got a chainsaw for a pecker and when he needs a leaf blower, he eats a burrito.
Cribbed from All Things Beautiful on an Anonymous Tip