Monday, December 26, 2005

Sudden Impact

1. "Into the Mud! Scum Queen!"

2. And then, in front of 79,000 screaming fans, the victim's heart was held up as a tribute to Quetzalcoatl to give thanks for a winning season.

3. Jackie Chan claims to do all his own stunts, but this screencap from "Rush Hour 3" looks like a stunt double to me.

4. "A bet's a bet. Now, let's take you to the locker room and get you lubed up."

5. "Unh-unh-unh, no Rapture for you. You can stay left behind and burn with the rest of us, Jesus-boy."

6. Then, Tommy Maddox spiked Pauly Shore in the crotch, and it was the best Christmas ever!

7. The first Superbowl in Outer Space was plagued by failures in the gravity generators.

8. Gesundheit!

9. "When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation of being felt-up by a hunky NFL linebacker."

10. "Make a wish!"

Best of Rodney Dill
Wouldn't we all like to do this to eminem.

Best of Van Helsing
There are easier ways to get authentic NFL gear than pretending to be a football.

Best of Submariner
After making the miraculous catch and saving the life of fan who had fallen from the upper deck, #92 stood up, spiked him and was flagged 15 yards for excessive celebration.

Best of Submariner
Thankfully, Pittsburgh now employs armored CHUD defenders.

And I say "Dick York" was the better Darren, d*mmit!

Best of Prough91
I told you, no red socks with brown pants!!!



AssPress Photo/Tony Dejak

22 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Wouldn't we all like to do this to eminem.

Van Helsing said...

There are easier ways to get authentic NFL gear than pretending to be a football.

Son Of The Godfather said...

What the hell did Quentin Tarantino do to piss off the Steelers?

Son Of The Godfather said...

With feigned apologies to our hyper-sensitive "Dawn":
Just another example of the black man trying to keep the white man down.

Submariner said...

After making the miraculous catch and saving the life of fan who had fallen from the upper deck, #92 stood up, spiked him and was flagged 15 yards for excessive celebration.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Q: What sequence of wacky events ultimately led to this photograph?...
A: Play "Seven Degrees of Robert Downey Jr's Lobotomy" to find out!

Submariner said...

When asked for comment, Coach Cowher remained silent and kept a stiff lower jaw.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The last thought Henry had before slipping into the coma was, "Well sh*t, that banana peel thing really works!"

Submariner said...

Jason Gilder stood up and glared at the crowd; "Anyone else think my sister's a smelly Pirate hooker? We're a football family, d*mn it!"

Submariner said...

You're from the Brown's Dogpound? Well, I have bone for you to chew on..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Coolest Flying-Tiger kick ever, or most spastic takedown fall ever?... You decide.

Submariner said...

Elton was just so tickled to finally meet a real man, that he threw himself into Jason's arms. His wifband was not so pleased...

Question - just what the heck DO you call the partner in a gay couple? wife? husband? Pudding-pop? I wouldn't want Dawn to be offended by my lack of sensititvity - oh, that's right - she only cares about offending black women. Never mind.

Submariner said...

My apologies, gang, but someone's got to do it:

Over here, Kobe. He's open. now...

Submariner said...

Watching game film Monday, Coach Cowher observed that Jason had made one heckuva power tackle, noted that it was the ball-boy vice the ball carrier, and handed him a 2:15 Optometrist appointment slip for Wednesday in the name of "Gildon."

Submariner said...

Thankfully, Pittsburgh now employs armored CHUD defenders.

Submariner said...

George Bush sent me. He doesn't care about Browns fans.

Prough91 said...

I told you, no red socks with brown pants!!!

Submariner said...

Jason, upset by his toddler's preoccupation with the Wiggles, takes matters into his own hands.

Submariner said...

Mo Dowd commented, "I wouldn't have been knocked out of my red pumps... My skirt? Maybe; but definitely not my red pumps!"

Submariner said...

And I say "Dick York" was the better Darren, d*mmit!

Submariner said...

Dawn sent me. Don't be makin' no mo' comments 'bout no black women!

Robert said...

In an effort to increase game point totals, the NFL adds a rule that the defensive players have to wear spectators on their hips.