Monday, December 26, 2005

Smelly Pirate Hookers, Ahoy!

1. I want to say "Me Love You Long Time," but that would be milking a stereotype for the sake of humor. Oh, wait, they're not African-American women.

2. "Me love you long time."

3. "Dammit, Ming Lee, I thought you said this cowboy and wrestler bar would be a great place to pick up men."

4. Santa should have known that any guy who asked for four Tia Carrera clones would turn out to be on the naughty list.

5. While the other hookers lamented a slow night, Ming Lee managed to sell a handjob to a Being of Pure Light and Energy from the Green Dimension.

6. Georges Seurat's Apres-Midi avec Smelly Pirate Hookers.

7. "Then, my customer asked for a 69, so I gave him Mongolian beef and broccoli."

8. Four Thai prostitutes ponder the question, "If you're at a tsunami relief concert, and people start doing the wave, is that in bad taste?"

9. "So, if Lorentzian spacetime contains a compact region Ω, and if the topology of Ω is of the form Ω ~ R x Σ, where Σ is a three-manifold of nontrivial topology, then ... hold on a second, Hey, soldier boy, you want to party? Me love you long time? No? OK... anyway, as I was saying, if all hypersurfaces Σ are all spacelike, then the region Ω contains a quasipermanent intra-universe wormhole.

10. "On second thought, let's not form an all-girl grunge band. That's just too 1994."

Best of Rodney Dill
Jinger Bears

Best of Submariner
"Seared. Seared into my memory... Those are words I've heard used regarding the pain when you take a leak after coming back with a little something extra following a visit to Bangkok...

Despite the visual clues, there are still some that wonder how Phuket, Thailand got its reputation as an adult version of Disneyland...

Best of ColoradoPatriot
"You right, Ming. Chuck-E-Cheese not same since Navy close down shipyard."

"Could be worse...Could be brack radies at mall. American-Joes can be ruthress with racial stereotypes."

Best of Rufus Leaking
Only one of them was BORN female - can you tell?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"I've only got two and a half bucks here... Could you love me short time?"

Ming knew she shouldn't have opened the repo-man's trunk.

Where the marketing guys came up with the "Capital One" slogan.

They made Ming angry... they won't like her when she's angry.

When George Takei says "sometimes, I like to relax with the ladies", he means it literally... That's him on the right.

Inspired by Son Of The Godfather
Akira Kurisawa presents Showgirls.

Best of Divine Miss M
I get my kicks above the waistline, Sunshine!

47 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Jinger Bears

Rodney Dill said...

Upon viewing the comments for this picture, Dawn's head exploded.

Divine Miss M said...

Ah, yes, Hong Kong, home of the Shiny...Green...Suit!

jeff said...

A year later, the ladies of the Thai night were ready with their swimwear...

sonicfrog said...

OH, so they ARE doing a live-action version of "Futurama". And they're using the story from the "I Dated a Robot" episode featuring Multiple Lucy Lu-Bots.

sonicfrog said...

The Sex-Bot manufacturer releases version 2."OH MY" just in time for Christmas.

Submariner said...

Only a totally self-absorbed Hollywood type would give a hooker a "star" necklace - looks like Sean Penn was here first.

Submariner said...

Meanwhile, Maureen Dowd sits at the bar, staring at her huge red pumps, sipping a Sloe Comfortable Screw,and singing Send in the Clones...

Submariner said...

Just tell Grandma-san that you forgot dinner because you were hanging out at the bar with the geisha convention; she'll understand...

Submariner said...

I'm so freakin' bored! Wanna go trash a Surf village?

Submariner said...

I put on stupid red hat. I wear stupid red mini. Why round eyes not believe I elvish ice princess?

Submariner said...

ORA:

Jim Henson kept it quiet, but Fraggle Rock did have its seamy side...

Submariner said...

Despite the visual clues, there are still some that wonder how Phuket, Thailand got its reputation as an adult version of Disneyland...

Prough91 said...

What Santa brings bad little boys.

ColoradoPatriot said...

"You right, Ming. Chuck-E-Cheese not same since Navy close down shipyard."

ColoradoPatriot said...

"Could be worse...Could be brack radies at mall. American-Joes can be ruthress with racial stereotypes."

Rufus Leaking said...

only one of them was BORN female - can you tell?

Rufus Leaking said...

The sound of Christmas, from left to right, Ho. Ho. Ho and Ho.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Quagmire: "Sushi bar, oh yeah!... Giggidy!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I've got two and a half bucks here... Could you love me short time?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Not blessed with similar "attributes" as the other hookers, Min Lee becomes green with envy.

(V, #5 & #7... nice!)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Even they turned away Michael Moore.

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA:
Ming knew she shouldn't have opened the repo-man's trunk.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Where the marketing guys came up with the "Capital One" slogan.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Four whores, and seven years ago..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Please don't hate me, I need sugar:
"They said this was the seediest bar in town, where everything could be bought... for a price. An easy woman, a cheap pickup quip, even that new Brokeback Mountain movie. Being skeptical, I went in to investigate... and I bought it all, hooker, line, and stinker."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Rare photo of the Howard Stern Show green room.

(Just caught Rodney's "Jinger Bears" cap... That's a keeper! heh)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"When, what to my wondering eyes should appear? It now hurts when I pee, so it must be a tear."

Son Of The Godfather said...

They made Ming angry... they won't like her when she's angry.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Inspired by Rodney Dill's cap:
A Hari, Jari Klismass

Son Of The Godfather said...

I'm guessing that's not supposed to be a Star of David around her neck, so I can't do a J.A.P. reference... probably.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The gentleman in back has apparently discovered that it's not butter, but Imperial Margarine."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Man in back: "Could I get a shot of penicillin please?... Better make it a double."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Margaret CHo

Son Of The Godfather said...

On his latest film, Akira Kurisawa loses his edge.

Son Of The Godfather said...

When George Takei says "sometimes, I like to relax with the ladies", he means it literally... That's him on the right.

Son Of The Godfather said...

OJA:
Do I really have to ask what these women have in common with a submarine?

Submariner said...

Nope. Giggiddy, giggidy. heh heh heh

Mornin' SOTG - not sure which is best: George Takei, Stern green room or four whores...

Cybrludite said...

Few knew that Santa had been pimping out the elf chicks since the '70s...

Submariner said...

While his posse was out front looking for tricks, Herme was in the back, filling "cavities."

When Elves Go Bad - pg 169

Van Helsing said...

How Girl Scout troops celebrate Christmas in Bangkok.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Where John Kerry really spent his Christmas in Cambodia.

(It's seared into his memory)

Submariner said...

SOTG - funny but you gotta wonder...
"Seared. Seared into my memory... Those are words I've heard used regarding the pain when you take a leak after coming back with a little something extra following a visit to Bangkok...

Divine Miss M said...

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples, but the pearls ain't free.

(I get my kicks above the waistline, Sunshine!)

Submariner said...

Inspired by Rufus Leaking #1

Sesame Street visits Bangkok:
One of these ho's is not like the others!
One of these ho's just doesn't belong...

Submariner said...

Today's episode of Sesame Street is brought to you by the letters H and O and the number 4.

Submariner said...

Down at the Rusty Nail, the girls were really excited when they heard that Old Navy was opening. Then the let down of finding out it was only a new mall shop...