1. "Mr. Farakhan, there's a Mother Ship here to see you."
2. "Frank Lloyd Wright designed it during his 'enormous, terrifying air duct' phase."
3. We've secretly replaced this man's air duct with the space shuttle's main engine. Let's see if he notices.
4. "I hear you, Lou. That is one tough Jumble."
5. "I don't know any other way to put it, Lou. But, when I think about you, I touch myself."
6. "This is urgent. Some fellow named Tuttle is going around fixing ductwork without a form 27b/6"
7. One day, the office muzak played Ride of the Valkyries and everyone died.
Best of Rodney Dill .
"It's OK to talk, this room has a noise dampener."
"I said ..."
Best of ColoradoPatriot .
"Okay, Johnson, but just this one last time. Put a quarter in the slot, turn the crank and the gumball comes out from up here."
Best of Bubbalove .
(circa sometime in the late 1930's - at a meeting of the top members of the Illuminati and Freemasons) "So...you want to take this 'embryo' that is the true spawn of Satan and implant it in this floozy you know down in Hope, Arkansas? Hmm..it's devious..unexpected..I like it."
Best of Submariner .
SETI leadership was a bit confused over why their fillings heated up every time they broadcast a microwave greetings to Alpha Centauri.
"The funny thing is, this is your Hell, but they have the exact same room up there..."
Borrowed from Lileks