Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Return to Bareback Mountain

1. "I don't think I'll ever get off all that Dalmation body paint."

2. "Do you ever feel... not so fresh?"

3. "No, not the horse you rode in on. Just you."

4. "Wow, that old guy sure cried like a little girl when we pistol-whipped him."

5. "Dang! Here am I with 200 sheep and I left my velcro gloves in the bunkhouse."

6. "You've got your lasso, I've got my Wonder Woman costume. Let's do this thang!"

7. "And then he extended a laurel and hearty handshake to the town's new... butt pirates."

8. "I guess that'll teach that bitch Matthew Shepard not to diss Judy Garland."

9. "Hey, Cosby! Don't bogart that Jell-O pudding."

10. "There it is, Jake. The Ponderosa. Now all we need to do is get into a fight with Little Joe, and Old Ben Cartwright'll will grease his arm up to the elbow, and take us out back and subject our young, supple bodies to some stern, fatherly discipline and fisting."

Best of sonicfrog
Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt. It is so big!!!

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Hey, how about a gay movie set on the high seas?" "They already did one. It was called Titanic."

"Some people don't like this route... Just an old road with abandoned chocolate factories on either side... Me?... Well, let's just say I kinda like travelin' up the ol' Hershey highway."

They enjoyed gunning down cow patties along the way... Yup, there was nothing they liked more than a good ol' poop shoot.

Best of Submariner
Who's the Biggest Bitch? Second toughest round ever.

Best of Divine Miss M
Gives a whole new meaning to "Ride 'em, cowboy."

Best of Frank IBC
I didn't know Floyd the Barber did eyebrow waxing.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Why'd you become a Cowboy, Ned?" "So I could just pee on the ground, anywhere, anytime."

"Billy, ya ever seen a grown man naked?" "Day ain't over yet."

Best of catbat
Even them thar hosses is gettin idears. [I don't know what i just typed. seriously, though, has anyone seen the movie? Are they in love? I bet they're in love.]

Photo: Ass Press Photo/Focus Features, Kimberly French

31 comments:

Submariner said...

Pardon me, cowboy. May I push in your stool?

Submariner said...

Jake? We may be on his ranch, but repeatedly telling me you'll "take one for the Gipper" is just plain disrespectful.

Submariner said...

ORA:

Get the calf, stubby.

Submariner said...

V. - follow-up to your #4

And what's with that Congressman "volunteering to be next?"

sonicfrog said...

Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt
It is so big!!!

sonicfrog said...

Oh my God! Is that Tookie William's Fro???

No asswipe. He's dead, remember? It's only a bush. Dang, I swear that pudding has gone to your brain!

Submariner said...

There ain't no way I'd live in that town - their new sherriff is Clevon Little! I DO have my standards...

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Well, we did it Jake, we successfully tarnished the last bastion of American manhood with our hit movie... Say, what would you think about a gay astronaut movie?... Do they have pudding on the moon?"

(V, your #2 and #3 cracked me up. ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"You hear that? what is that noise?"

"That's be John Wayne spinning in his grave at high velocity."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey, how about a gay movie based on the high seas?"

"Yeah, it's called Titanic."

Submariner said...

Totally crass and tasteless post alert:

Hey Jake, Now that Tookie dosn't need it, how about a new Buck-skin jacket for the holidays your old pudding pop?

And I gotta agree - #3 is a classic!

Submariner said...

Blatantly stolen from V the K two pics ago:

Who's the Biggest Bitch? toughest round ever.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Some people don't like this route... Just an old road with abandoned chocolate factories on either side... Me?... Well, let's just say I kinda like travelin' up the ol' Hershey highway."

Submariner said...

Heath? I appreciate the sentiment and the offer, but he was the Virginian, not the Virgin.

Son Of The Godfather said...

They enjoyed gunning down cow patties along the way... Yup, there was nothing they liked more than a good ol' poop shoot.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The Good, The Bad, & The Sissies

Son Of The Godfather said...

Did anyone reference "Rump Rangers" yet?

Divine Miss M said...

Gives a whole new meaning to "Ride 'em, cowboy."

Submariner said...

ORA:

Yippee-I-oh-I ay. Cow Patty.

Submariner said...

Here we are, out on the range. Where men where gauchos and the sheep are nervous...

Submariner said...

PIMF Where men wear ...

Submariner said...

See that cute little heiffer over there? I'd do 'er. giggidy, giggidy!

Submariner said...

Chaps? Check
Spurs? Check
Rope? Check
Branding Iron? Check
Looks like we're ready when Barney and Andrew getr here.

Submariner said...

I cannot believe the Academy didn't nominate you for best actress, Heath.

Frank IBC said...

I didn't know Floyd the Barber did eyebrow waxing.

Rodney Dill said...

"Billy, ya ever seen a grown man naked?"
"Day ain't over yet."

catbat said...

even them thar hosses is gettin idears.

[i don't know what i just typed. seriously, though, has anyone seen the movie? are they in love? i bet they're in love.]

Divine Miss M said...

"Say, are those two semi-nude, dalmation-clad, limp-wristed, bead-adorned houseboys yonder are looking for a ride?"

Rodney Dill said...

Hard to beat the Dalmation reference to the other picture

:)

Rodney Dill said...

"Why'd you become a Cowboy, Ned?"
"So I could just pee on the ground, anywhere, anytime."

Prough91 said...

Mama, don't let your gay sons grow up to be cowboys.