Thursday, December 29, 2005

OK, One More Whack at the Pudding Boys

(I thought I was through with these guys, but it's been a very slow week for finding captionable material, and also, I kind of snickered when I read the original Reuters caption: (Brokeback Mountain) is playing well in limited release and opens wide in the new year.

1. "Uh, guys, this contest to see who's longer has been going on for two hours. Stop staring and get back in the truck."

2. "Hey, what do you say after we get done sodomizing each other, we drive over to Old Navy and do some massive shoplifting ... you know, just to defy the stereotype?"

3. "I Wanna Be a Cowboy/And you can be my cowgirl..." (ORA)

4. "Guys, when we agreed to the swap, this isn't what we had in mind. Guys... guys?"

5. "Jolene's a nice girl and all but she just doesn't understand my needs... like my need to be anally fisted."

6. "Well, Jake, I guess you now know the real reason the Cartwright brothers are nicknamed 'Hoss' and 'Little Joe.'"

7. "Can I borrow your lasso? This weekend, I'm lip-synching 'It's Rainin' Men' dressed like Wonder Woman at the Blue Oyster Bar."

8. "Nothing like riding a stallion to make you feel like a man." "But, honey, your horse is a mare."

9. "When you played cowboys and indians as a kid, did the indians tie you up, slather your naked body with Crisco, and make you sing for them?"

10. "What's the big deal, Jolene. Lots of cowboys decorate their bunkhouses with posters of cowboys." "Yes, but by Tom of Finland?"

Best of Rodney Dill
"We're just one Caballeros short."

"No we can't invite the Goat Sex guy, ya should already know that Cattlemen and Sheepherders don't mix."

"Ever help a real cowboy take off his boots, boy?"

Best of Rufus Leaking
It all started with "Lets play cowboys and 'Native Americans'" Now this!

Best of Skizz
Maybe we can invite our Indian companion friend --- Indian Companion --- and we can play "Cowboys and Indians".. except this time with a full bottle of Canola oil.

Best of ColoradoPatriot
"I dunno, man. Ever since I saw you in that there Marine movie in nothin' but that Santa hat, I've kinda had a thing fer ya."

Best of Vonski
No, Billy Ray, that's not the target for your love missile, it's the ring made from where I keep my can of Skoal!

No, it's your turn to play Laura Ingalls Wilder and my turn to play Manley, you bitch!

"Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at howdy."

Best of catbat
"what's that, gals? you're lookin' for wrestlers for your naked cowboy traveling cage match association? yee-haw!"

Best of Robert
Care for a Cowpoke?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Regis Philbin." "Dick Clark." "Regis Philbin!" "DICK CLARK!" (The argument escalated until they exchanged blows - V)

"I dunno, I have feelin's for ya 'n all, but I can't get the image of that hot, Romulan, Santa's helper out of my mind!"

"...and so the doctor says, 'Rectum?... Darn near KILLED 'im!'... heh heh heh... (sigh) ... Somehow, it's not as funny after what we did last night."

Best of Submariner
Jake - "Ginger or Maryanne?"
Heath - "The Professor."
Jake - "Yeah, me too."

(AP Photo/Focus Features, Kimberly French)

P.S. I can also recommend this parody: Bareback Mountain

45 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"Hey Jake, guess what I can do with the saddle horn?"

Rodney Dill said...

"We're just one Caballeros short."

Rufus Leaking said...

It all started with "Lets play cowboys and 'Native Americans'"
Now this!

Rodney Dill said...

"No we can't invite the Goat Sex guy, ya should already know that Cattlemen and Sheepherders don't mix."

lawhawk said...

V the K:

Looking for new material? Try this screen cap from LGF.

As for this particular subject, I'm drawing a complete blank.

Rufus Leaking said...

"Sheep Skin? I thought you said 'Sheeps KIN!'"

Divine Miss M said...

Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.

Skizz said...

Maybe we can invite our Indian companion friend Indian Companion and we can play "Cowboys and Indians".. except this time with a full bottle of Canola oil. (ORA)

Or in the same link you can use the "I'm Natasha Hentrich" deal Trey and Matt do. Either way.. just trying to help, even though I suck at these.

ColoradoPatriot said...

"I dunno, man. Ever since I saw you in that there Marine movie in nothin' but that Santa hat, I've kinda had a thing fer ya."

ColoradoPatriot said...

"I don't know how to quit writing gay captions."

Vonski said...

No, Billy Ray, that's not the target for your love missile, it's the ring made from where I keep my can of Skoal!

Vonski said...

No, it's your turn to play Laura Ingalls Wilder and my turn to play Manley, you bitch!

Prough91 said...

Mama, don't let you sons grow up to be gay cowboys.

catbat said...

"what's that, gals? you're lookin' for wrestlers for your naked cowboy traveling cage match association? yee-haw!"

Rodney Dill said...

"Ever help a real cowboy take off his boots, boy?"

Cybrludite said...

(ORA) Did you guys see the size of that chicken?

Robert said...

Care for a Cowpoke?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Amazing that this movie did so well on the per-screen average in San Francisco. I'm shocked!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Regis Philbin."
"Dick Clark."
"Regis Philbin!"
"DICK CLARK!"

The argument was settled... They would both be starting off the New Year with Dick.

(athankyaverahmuch! ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

>>Amazing that this movie did so well on the per-screen average in San Francisco. I'm shocked!

In similar news, King Kong skyrockets in the per-screen average on Skull Island.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Sh*t, they're here... Does my breath smell all semen-ey to you?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"High Nooner"

(Christ, V... Didja have to mention "whack" and "pudding boys" in the title? heh)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Well, we got our duds all cleaned up, have each other as solid alibis, and have pretty much covered up our tracks... Except for the bleeding asshole thing... That's gonna be a tough one to sell."

(so it's gross... the whole thing is gross! ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I dunno, I have feelin's for ya 'n all, but I can't get the image of that hot, Romulan, Santa's helper out of my mind!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hope my sideburns didn't chaffe your thighs too bad."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Andy Rooney voice:
"Did ya ever notice that when celebrities are afraid of being typecast as bone smugglers, they tend to release their next movies awfully quickly?... With those same celebrities cast directly the opposing way?... In unrelated news, don't miss Heath in "Casanova" and Jake in "Jarhead" at a theater near you."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I can't say which is more uncomfortable... Leaving you, or that condom lodged in my lower intestine."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hollywierd Trivia:
Heath Ledger had previously tried to do a gay movie set in the medieval past... Unfortunatley, he misread the title as A Knight's Tail.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Pretty cool Members Only jacket, Jake... What, are you like the only member?"

Submariner said...

I just don't know, Heath. Going out with a girl seems so, so, so unnatural!

Submariner said...

Just stop it, Jake! They only gave me a ride; I only have eyes for you!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"...and so the doctor says, 'Rectum?... Darn near KILLED 'im!'... heh heh heh..."
*sigh*
"Somehow, it's not as funny after what we did last night."

(mornin, Sub!)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Your secret is safe with me, Jake... Although you might wanna remove that pube from your teeth."

Son Of The Godfather said...

V the K, in a heinous "bait-and-switch" ploy, posts a pic of two fleshpole-dancers on the sacred "scantily-clad-wymenfolk" Thursday".

von said...

Your sideburns are AWESOME. No, YOUR sideburns are AWESOME. No, YOUR sideburns...Oh, just kiss me cowboy!!

Submariner said...

Oh Heath! If you don't quit giving me that look I'm gonna have to make a bum rush...

(back atcha, SOTG)

Submariner said...

Yep, it's true, Jake; 14 cowpokes go out on the drive, but 7 couples reach trail's end... You game?

Submariner said...

Oh, very f'n funny - "steers and queers," and "which one are you?" as if you didn't know!

Submariner said...

Hadta turn down another application for that "Jacko" fella today...

Submariner said...

V., re your #3

Yippee-i-OH!-yippee-YAY!

Submariner said...

Jake - "Ginger or Maryanne?"
Heath - "The Professor."
Jake - "Yeah, me too."

Submariner said...

Do you think that if we invited Bill Cosby, we'd get chocolate "pudding pops?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Dawn: In Memoriam:
"Call me all the gay names ya want, but if you try to stereotype me as a black woman, talk to the hand, sistah!"

Vonski said...

"Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at howdy." - From the movie, "Jerry McGayer"

Rodney Dill said...

top ten rejected titles for broke back mountain.

http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/contest/