(I thought I was through with these guys, but it's been a very slow week for finding captionable material, and also, I kind of snickered when I read the original Reuters caption: (Brokeback Mountain) is playing well in limited release and opens wide in the new year. 1. "Uh, guys, this contest to see who's longer has been going on for two hours. Stop staring and get back in the truck."
2. "Hey, what do you say after we get done sodomizing each other, we drive over to Old Navy and do some massive shoplifting ... you know, just to defy the stereotype?"
3. "I Wanna Be a Cowboy/And you can be my cowgirl..." (ORA)
4. "Guys, when we agreed to the swap, this isn't what we had in mind. Guys... guys?"
5. "Jolene's a nice girl and all but she just doesn't understand my needs... like my need to be anally fisted."
6. "Well, Jake, I guess you now know the real reason the Cartwright brothers are nicknamed 'Hoss' and 'Little Joe.'"
7. "Can I borrow your lasso? This weekend, I'm lip-synching 'It's Rainin' Men' dressed like Wonder Woman at the Blue Oyster Bar."
8. "Nothing like riding a stallion to make you feel like a man." "But, honey, your horse is a mare."
9. "When you played cowboys and indians as a kid, did the indians tie you up, slather your naked body with Crisco, and make you sing for them?"
10. "What's the big deal, Jolene. Lots of cowboys decorate their bunkhouses with posters of cowboys." "Yes, but by Tom of Finland?"
Best of Rodney Dill
"We're just one Caballeros short."
"No we can't invite the Goat Sex guy, ya should already know that Cattlemen and Sheepherders don't mix."
"Ever help a real cowboy take off his boots, boy?"
Best of Rufus Leaking
It all started with "Lets play cowboys and 'Native Americans'" Now this!
Best of Skizz
Maybe we can invite our Indian companion friend --- Indian Companion --- and we can play "Cowboys and Indians".. except this time with a full bottle of Canola oil.
Best of ColoradoPatriot
"I dunno, man. Ever since I saw you in that there Marine movie in nothin' but that Santa hat, I've kinda had a thing fer ya."
Best of Vonski
No, Billy Ray, that's not the target for your love missile, it's the ring made from where I keep my can of Skoal!
No, it's your turn to play Laura Ingalls Wilder and my turn to play Manley, you bitch!
"Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at howdy."
Best of catbat
"what's that, gals? you're lookin' for wrestlers for your naked cowboy traveling cage match association? yee-haw!"
Best of Robert
Care for a Cowpoke?
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Regis Philbin." "Dick Clark." "Regis Philbin!" "DICK CLARK!" (The argument escalated until they exchanged blows - V)
"I dunno, I have feelin's for ya 'n all, but I can't get the image of that hot, Romulan, Santa's helper out of my mind!"
"...and so the doctor says, 'Rectum?... Darn near KILLED 'im!'... heh heh heh... (sigh) ... Somehow, it's not as funny after what we did last night."
Best of Submariner
Jake - "Ginger or Maryanne?"
Heath - "The Professor."
Jake - "Yeah, me too."
(AP Photo/Focus Features, Kimberly French)
P.S. I can also recommend this parody: Bareback Mountain
45 comments:
"Hey Jake, guess what I can do with the saddle horn?"
"We're just one Caballeros short."
It all started with "Lets play cowboys and 'Native Americans'"
Now this!
"No we can't invite the Goat Sex guy, ya should already know that Cattlemen and Sheepherders don't mix."
V the K:
Looking for new material? Try this screen cap from LGF.
As for this particular subject, I'm drawing a complete blank.
"Sheep Skin? I thought you said 'Sheeps KIN!'"
Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.
Maybe we can invite our Indian companion friend Indian Companion and we can play "Cowboys and Indians".. except this time with a full bottle of Canola oil. (ORA)
Or in the same link you can use the "I'm Natasha Hentrich" deal Trey and Matt do. Either way.. just trying to help, even though I suck at these.
"I dunno, man. Ever since I saw you in that there Marine movie in nothin' but that Santa hat, I've kinda had a thing fer ya."
"I don't know how to quit writing gay captions."
No, Billy Ray, that's not the target for your love missile, it's the ring made from where I keep my can of Skoal!
No, it's your turn to play Laura Ingalls Wilder and my turn to play Manley, you bitch!
Mama, don't let you sons grow up to be gay cowboys.
"what's that, gals? you're lookin' for wrestlers for your naked cowboy traveling cage match association? yee-haw!"
"Ever help a real cowboy take off his boots, boy?"
(ORA) Did you guys see the size of that chicken?
Care for a Cowpoke?
Amazing that this movie did so well on the per-screen average in San Francisco. I'm shocked!
"Regis Philbin."
"Dick Clark."
"Regis Philbin!"
"DICK CLARK!"
The argument was settled... They would both be starting off the New Year with Dick.
(athankyaverahmuch! ;)
>>Amazing that this movie did so well on the per-screen average in San Francisco. I'm shocked!
In similar news, King Kong skyrockets in the per-screen average on Skull Island.
"Sh*t, they're here... Does my breath smell all semen-ey to you?"
"High Nooner"
(Christ, V... Didja have to mention "whack" and "pudding boys" in the title? heh)
"Well, we got our duds all cleaned up, have each other as solid alibis, and have pretty much covered up our tracks... Except for the bleeding asshole thing... That's gonna be a tough one to sell."
(so it's gross... the whole thing is gross! ;)
"I dunno, I have feelin's for ya 'n all, but I can't get the image of that hot, Romulan, Santa's helper out of my mind!"
"Hope my sideburns didn't chaffe your thighs too bad."
Andy Rooney voice:
"Did ya ever notice that when celebrities are afraid of being typecast as bone smugglers, they tend to release their next movies awfully quickly?... With those same celebrities cast directly the opposing way?... In unrelated news, don't miss Heath in "Casanova" and Jake in "Jarhead" at a theater near you."
"I can't say which is more uncomfortable... Leaving you, or that condom lodged in my lower intestine."
Hollywierd Trivia:
Heath Ledger had previously tried to do a gay movie set in the medieval past... Unfortunatley, he misread the title as A Knight's Tail.
"Pretty cool Members Only jacket, Jake... What, are you like the only member?"
I just don't know, Heath. Going out with a girl seems so, so, so unnatural!
Just stop it, Jake! They only gave me a ride; I only have eyes for you!
"...and so the doctor says, 'Rectum?... Darn near KILLED 'im!'... heh heh heh..."
*sigh*
"Somehow, it's not as funny after what we did last night."
(mornin, Sub!)
"Your secret is safe with me, Jake... Although you might wanna remove that pube from your teeth."
V the K, in a heinous "bait-and-switch" ploy, posts a pic of two fleshpole-dancers on the sacred "scantily-clad-wymenfolk" Thursday".
Your sideburns are AWESOME. No, YOUR sideburns are AWESOME. No, YOUR sideburns...Oh, just kiss me cowboy!!
Oh Heath! If you don't quit giving me that look I'm gonna have to make a bum rush...
(back atcha, SOTG)
Yep, it's true, Jake; 14 cowpokes go out on the drive, but 7 couples reach trail's end... You game?
Oh, very f'n funny - "steers and queers," and "which one are you?" as if you didn't know!
Hadta turn down another application for that "Jacko" fella today...
V., re your #3
Yippee-i-OH!-yippee-YAY!
Jake - "Ginger or Maryanne?"
Heath - "The Professor."
Jake - "Yeah, me too."
Do you think that if we invited Bill Cosby, we'd get chocolate "pudding pops?"
Dawn: In Memoriam:
"Call me all the gay names ya want, but if you try to stereotype me as a black woman, talk to the hand, sistah!"
"Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at howdy." - From the movie, "Jerry McGayer"
top ten rejected titles for broke back mountain.
http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/contest/
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