Wednesday, December 28, 2005

OBL's Niece, Not So Into the Burqa

1. "Naked Chicks Akhbar!

2. His niece is doing OK for herself, but the best Osama's nephew could do was night clerk at a 7-11.*

3. Add if you add water, Smelly Pirate Hooker makes her own gravy.

4. To find out where Wafah has hidden the soap, enter your credit card number now.

5. "Whoever said diamonds are a girls best friend never had 22psi of water pressure."

6. "Uncle Osama never let me bathe. He said the proper way for a Muslim girl to bathe was for her uncle to lick her clean with his tongue."

7. The bathwater was later sold on eBay for $29.99 a pint.

8. "Time Out! Rubber Ducky's beak is stuck again!"

9. "The advantage of the champagne bath is that you get drunk and clean, that's one better than Osama on any given day!"

10. "And then the kid said, ''Ello! My name is Simon. I like to do drawrings!' It got a little weird after that." (ORA)

Best of Rufus Leaking
Wafah said, "Both Osama and I shaved our beards!"

Wafah unfamiliar with a bathtub, could not figure out why this was so uncomfortable. Later, she found the directions, and found that she was in it sideways.

Where is my left hand? Why do you think it's not polite to pass food with your left hand?

Best of Submariner
Don't worry Uncle, I'll be out in time to light the menorah...

Don't I have pretty mouth? But trust me, I don't "squeal like a pig" or I'd a been honor killed long ago.

Best of Rodney Dill
1:48... 1:49... 1:50 ....Man, Rodney Dill can hold his breath a long time... 1:55

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Great, and after I'm done boinking her, I'll track down Hitler's piece-of-ass cousin.

Is "Wafah" her name, or the sound Al Pacino makes when he sees her nekid?

Hey, where's that left hand, missy?... Wafah drop the luffah?

Her eye's say so much... Mostly "Hey homo, why are you captioning those sheepherding rump-rangers above instead of a nekkid woman in a bathtub?"

Hey, now there's TWO Bin Ladens I want to shoot a missile into!

Best of Van Helsing
Wafah can blow bathtub bubbles with the best. When they burst, they release a delicious aroma of recycled falafel.


* Mornin', Dawn

(Jeff Riedel/GQ Magazine/Handout/Reuters)

38 comments:

AM42 said...

Sorry, no caption... I just have to say that #3 should have a 'spew alert'

Submariner said...

'Allo, Sailor! Wanna float your boat in my tub? 10 pound 6, Gov...

Submariner said...

Don't mind the aroma - Shrek drew the bubble bath for me.

Submariner said...

It used to confuse me but now I know why the radical Islamists always scream "Yahoo! Snackbar!!!"

Rufus Leaking said...

Wafah said, "Both Osama and I shaved our beards!"

Submariner said...

Osama was always embarrassed when his niece showed up and he had to introduce her - Musta bin Bathin.

Rufus Leaking said...

Wafah unfamiliar with a bathtub, could not figure out why this was so uncomfortable. Later, she found the directions, and found that she was in it sideways.

Rufus Leaking said...

The drain did not include a hair trap, and soon, the tub overflowed, flooding the first, second and third floors. . .

Rufus Leaking said...

Where is my left hand? Why do you think it's not polite to pass food with your left hand?

Rufus Leaking said...

Wafah has that look on her face that says "I smell sheep" its congenital.

Submariner said...

Snake oil? No - "honey water."

Submariner said...

Sheesh! I brushed up against Sheehan in DC and no matter how hard I scrub, I can't get rid of the stench!

Submariner said...

Don't worry Uncle, I'll be out in time to light the menorah...

Submariner said...

Don't I have pretty mouth? But trust me, I don't "squeal like a pig" or I'd a been honor killed long ago.

Submariner said...

"Half the man my Uncle is???"
Puh-lease! I need one that's at least twice the man he is if I expect to enjoy anything.

Submariner said...

It feels like I'm wrinkling up, just like the Madrassah taught concerning bathing.

Rodney Dill said...

Yo' Mama Been Whorin'

Rodney Dill said...

1:48
1:49
1:50
"....Man, Rodney Dill can hold his breath a long time."
1:55
...

Prough91 said...

Cristal's new advertising slogan: Champagne...how a dirty girl gets clean.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Great, and after I'm done boinking her, I'll track down Hitler's piece-of-ass cousin.

(Rufus and Sub... some excellent caps there!)

Submariner said...

You can only see the family resemblance if you invert her. (Of course if Rufus is right on the shaving, even that is out of the question...)

Thanks SOTG - just beat you to a couple, I'm sure - slow day don'cha know?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Is "Wafah" her name, or the sound Al Pacino makes when he sees her nekid?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Picture should be titled "Osama's Fatal Heart Attack".

Submariner said...

One can only hope so, SOTG...

Rufus Leaking said...

This one is for submariner:

"Cleansed of Slime? Not yet, why?"

Van Helsing said...

Wafah can blow bathtub bubbles with the best. When they burst, they release a delicious aroma of recycled falafel.

Submariner said...

ORA?

Scrubbing Bubbles! Hoo hoo!
We scrub hard so you don't have to-oo-oo-oo-oo

Submariner said...

To ensure proper palatability, always ensure that you cleanse your Baklava well before pouring the syrup over it. Then enjoy your desert fit for a Sultan!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hmmmm... The hottie niece of a crazy, f'd up mass murderer...
My enlightened superior morality would have me shun her.
My inner Quagmire would "hit it and quit it." Giggidy!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hey, where's that left hand, missy?... Wafah drop the luffah?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Monkey-paw in hand, SOTG wished he could become a bar of Irish Spring. He immediately regretted not being specific when he ended up in Michael Moore's soap dish.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Her eye's say so much... Mostly "Hey homo, why are you captioning those sheepherding rump-rangers above instead of a nekkid woman in a bathtub?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

It.Is.So.Wrong.
Hey, now there's TWO Bin Ladens I want to shoot a missile into!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Last words of Akeem Alawan III:
"Osama amigo, don't you think your niece is f-ing hot?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Sorry, all outta towels, Wafah... but there's a Kleenex box on the counter."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Look, it's just not going to work out, ok?... My uncle drinks too much at parties... Your uncle is a maniacal, murderous pig f*cker... These are real obstacles, Wafah."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Get in bathtub, SOTG, you dherty, dherty infidel."

Son Of The Godfather said...

If Osama is my Uncle and Cheney my papa,
It only goes to follow, that I'm my own fatwah!


(Everybody sing!)