1. Well, Jesse can still pick his friends at least.
2. "And then Sheehan ran her lips up the side, like so."
3. I think we can all agree that Jesse's sobriety test was l-o-o-o-o-n-g overdue.
4. "Ssshh, be vewy vewy quite. I'm shaking down guilt-widden libewals."
5. "Sssh, Sssh, now let's not get into a big debate over who illegitimately fathered who, or who embezzled what to pay off who?"
6. "SSShhhh, be quiet now. The guards said Tookie was taking a well-deserved 'dirt nap,' and I think he is entitled."
Best of Cybrludite .
In today's news Adam Sandler decked a reporter from Fox News at Reverend Jackson's press confrence.
Best of Van Helsing .
"Shh. I hear Tookie speaking to me from beyond the grave... Something about how he already misses Mike Farrell and that tight white manhole..."
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell .
"If the nose does itch, then I must scratch it, b#tch!"
"No, Jesse, you've got it all wrong. It's the pinky that you extend when drinking a cup of tea! You're soooooo Harlem!"
Best of occasional reader .
"Ixnay on the aceray ustlerhay!"
Best of Submariner .
I've used Lava, Clorox, 20 mule-team Borax and straight hydrochloric acid; let me tell you, absolutely nothing will remove the scent of Sheehan...
Jesse responded to the paternity question with a "Shhhhh" then said with a chuckle, "Unlike the Star Wars (tm) movies, I will be making no surprise announcements that I am anyone's daddy."
Best of bubbalove .
Here, Jesse can be seen sneakily flashing his room number sequence to the cute blonde white girl off to his left.
Jesse Jackson signals for a young woman and her male friend to be silent from shouting, "Who dat iz!?" "That's just my baby daddy." "Who dat iiiz!!?" That's just my baby daddy!"
SF Chronicle photo by Michael Maloney