1. The real reason Santa keeps a list of bad girls.
2. It starts when you cut class to hang out in the hall with a couple of guys who promise you candy. It ends here.
3. I can't remember if this is from Miracle on 69 Street or Twas the Boink Before Christmas.
4. Santa then lifted up his belt to reveal the strategically placed mistletoe.
5. Billy really wanted that Xbox 360, and he knew that leaving out cookies and milk just wasn't going to cut it.
6. "Me love yule long time."
7. Vacationing in Vegas, Mrs. Claus works the slots and Mr. Claus works the sluts.
8. "Yeah, young chicks go nuts for old men who bring them lots of gifts. I taught Hef everything he knows."
9. "She must be really vulnerable after breaking up with that doofus Kevin Federline, Santa thought. "I am so going to score."
10. "Aw, these two hitch-hikers are really sweet," Santa thought. "Too bad neither of them is going to live to see the new year."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Gives new meaning to the term "stocking stuffer".
They give me jingle balls.
The blonde hair says "California nymphette", while the black eyebrows scream "Romulan spy".
Best of Submariner
I need a Lord of the Rings geek to tell me how to say "menage-a-trois" in elvish...
You can trust Santa: it ain't gonna be a silent night!
When I eat Peppermint and Patty, I get a sensation...
Best of AlphaMu42
Bad little boys get a lump of coal. Good little boys get a new toy train. Little boys who hack Santa's personal computer and find incriminating photos of Santa & Hermie... They get whatever the hell they want.
Best of lawhawk
Ah the Tannenbaum twins. I knew them well.
Best of Prough91
Damn, I wish I'd been better this year.