1. "All right, let's get her back in that cage before she chews somebody's face off."
2. "Kali-ma! Kali-m-a-a-a-a!" (ORA?)
3. Travelocity's Roaming Gnome is beaten up and robbed in a McDonald's Playland not far from Fort Bragg.
4. "Now, wrap her up good before you put her too bed. I don't want to have to explain a bunch of rat bites to another social worker."
5. "Stop playing with her. We have to get it wrapped and shipped out to Rosie O'Donnell's house by FedEx."
6. In the director's cut, Cindy Lou Who stabs the Grinch in the neck with scissors, skins him, makes a nice coat of his hide, then goes and hangs out with 101st Airborne.
7. And just when Billy couldn't imagine how Christmas could get any better, they smeared peanut butter on his pee pee and held him over the fence at the petting zoo.
8. "Oh, yeah, feel those ripe, healthy, young kidneys. Call Dr. Rostov and let him know we can make the deliver as soon as we see 100 Large in the Zurich account."
9. "All right, when you're done playing, put her back in the crate. But, for God's sake, don't forget to punch airholes thise time."
10. "The reporter from Reuters says they'll run the photo worldwide, but only if you reach *into* the kid's pants."
Best of Jeff
Janie, I warned you not to get attached to it, now give it to me so I can get it butchered and roasted in time for the party...
Best of ColoradoPatriot
"Yes, Major Mancheck...very curious indeed. This child's frozen completely solid."
Best of Robert
The military receives worldwide condemnation for it's inhumane tickle interrogation techniques.
Best of Van Helsing
"You distract him with the bottle, I'll get his wallet."
Best of bubbalove
'Indiana Jones and the Romper Room of Doom!'
"Kali-moo! Kali-m-o-o-o-o..AACK!!" The coven captain realized he needed to go back and brush up on the actual pronunciation of the spell when a big, stinky pile of squishy brown surprise jumped out of the kids pants and into his hand.
Best of Prough91
Fairly used off the FoxNews website.