Tuesday, December 13, 2005

A First For the Blogosphere?

Note: Yesterday, at some time in the morning, PST, a judge signed off on the adoption decree for my (former) foster son CJ. I can't be sure, but this is likely the first time in internet history that a blogger has legally adopted another blogger.
The adoption was delayed for several weeks because some nutjob crashed a pick-up truck into the courthouse, set it on fire, and then had a standoff with police.
Which, if you knew CJ, is absolutely appropriate.)


1. Little Known Superheroes #374: The Green Condom.

2. "Excuse me," the dyslexic UPS man asked. "I have a truckload of MALES to deliver. Can you direct me to Andrew Sullivan's house?"

3. Desperate to end the stand-off, the police sent in the Michelin Man's brother to try and talk him into coming out peacefully.

4. "... Okay, the driver was 93 years old. Did anyone have 93 in the pool? Anyone?"

5. "Apparently, he missed a turn while arguing 'put out or get out' with his step-daughter." The best episodes of Cops are always set in Florida.

6. "I come to you with an urgent message: Mars Needs Women."

7. Worst Marketing Concept of All Time: The Luby's Cafeteria Drive-Thru.

8. "The driver claims he was distracted by news reports of a lesbian knife fight."

Photo: KGW

24 comments:

jeff said...

Yet again, Keizer exports it's problems to Salem.... (V the K, you live here? I'm from Stayton, used to live in Keizer)

jeff said...

...yeah, the military is coming to haul the truck away. Something about it being able to go up stairs better than anything short of an Abrams tank.

jeff said...

What an idiot... all the useless state buildings in this town and he goes and crashes into the county courthouse.

jeff said...

I understand he didn't want to be late for jury duty.

evariste said...

Mazel tov, V the K and CJ the K!

Kevin Walker said...

"Does this suit make me look fat?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Klaatu, Barada, Nikto!

(Congrats V & CJ!... Oh, and sorry about that truck/standoff thing... I skipped my morning coffee)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Michelangelo emerged shell-less, bloodied, and defeated. He knew the other Ninja Turtles would shun him.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"It's a couple of blues dudes... They say there 'on a mission from God'..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Cool, they named a county after Mrs. Cunningham.

Son Of The Godfather said...

IRONY ALERT:
MARION backwards = No, I ram.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"It's a station wagon full of nuns... Why does that sound familiar?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"It's Hugh Grant again... pants around his knees unlocked the parking break."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Fun is fun, David, but I swear to God, if you yell 'BANG!' one more effin time, I will rip your spine out through your neck!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

New Ad Campaign:
If your nicotine habit is so bad you can't concentrate on the road, why not try Salem cigarettes?

AM42 said...

The driver claims he was distracted when he saw the Oh Henry! bar heiress walking by wearing a bra as a top.

(btw- congrats V the K!)

Bad Penny said...

Congrats to V the K and son!

Submariner said...

Post Election Stress Trauma is no laughing matter. If you are still despondent over what "might have been," get help.


CONGRATS V and CJ!

Submariner said...

Dick Durbin decides to elevate from rhetoric to action over the violence in Iraq.

Submariner said...

He says it's a protest over Agatha's surviving the "dunking" and that we should now burn her at the stake.

Submariner said...

3 inch steel pipe for a cane! And the Pentagon can't buy body armor for the Hummers?

Submariner said...

OK, I guess I'm dressed now. I guess it's time for me to umpire the Mets-Yankees game...

Submariner said...

He says he was just collecting the 25 points for the smelly pirate hooker on the curb.

Submariner said...

I TOLD you I wouldn't NOT pay too much for this muffler!