Monday, December 26, 2005

The Day After Yesterday

1. "You're right, Berenice. I never did grasp the irony of a smelly pirate hooker shopping at Old Navy until now."

2. "You're right. With sales like these, who needs groceries."

3. "Those bastards charged me $500 for a cookie recipe! You better believe I'm e-mailing it to everybody on the web!"

4. "Well, enjoy your bags of capital oppression, counter-revolutonary stooge!" Tawanda had been no fun to shop with ever since she began working for the New York transit workers union.

5. "And then his momma said, 'Taye, you watch these bags for me while I'm in the ladies room.' Little thing couldn't been more than eight. So, I dropped him, grabbed the bags and, well, here I am."

6. "You know, I hope the next time the Pistons go all the way, I'm closer to some place better than Old Navy."

7. "That ain't no soda pop, that's a hard liquor." "Mmm-hmmm, that's my LeRoy." (OJA: Old Joke Advisory)

8. "No baby, my credit card was already maxed in November. But me and the manager at Old Navy 'worked things out.' By which I mean I exchanged oral sex for merchandise."

9. "The shoplifting is one thing, but, girl, going back and getting the stuff gift-wrapped? You got balls!"

10. You thought I was joking about Tawanda being a communist, but peep the big red star on her shopping bag.

Best of Rodney Dill
The gals reminisce about the good ol' Tailhook days.

Best of Anonymous
Hi, I'm Cindy Sheehan and my son is dead. You?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"So this stupid-ass white kid cuts in front of me in line to ask if they have any sales on kilts..."

Best of Submariner
D*mn! Lola. How long did you spend in the tanning bed?




AssPress Photo/Jose F. Moreno

22 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

The gals reminisce about the good ol' Tailhook days.

Rodney Dill said...

"Shopping isn't just fun again, since you found those lost credit cards its been a real hoot."

langtry said...

"10. You thought I was joking about Tawanda being a communist, but peep the big red star on her shopping bag." Ahh, yes. The Peoples Republic of Macy's. Many Chicagoans bemaoning the demise of Marshall Field's (to become Macy's in 2006) would agree with you there.

ColoradoPatriot said...

Seems the New Orleans Old Navy has finally reopened.

bubbalove said...

"Chile, if them cracker-ass crackers only knew what we wuz doin' with dese $2000 FEMA debit cards, whooo!"
"Mmm honey I know, but all we'd have ta do iz say 'George Bush hate us po' black folk' and cha-ching! They'd give us another one! Hahaa"

Dawn said...

I had your site blogrolled for a while, but I'm taking you off because I don't appreciate your trying to squeeze humor out of offensive stereotypes about black women.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm Cindy Sheehan and my son is dead. You?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Shopping used to be fun in the past?

(Dawn, we skewer everyone here. If you do a close up of the bag on the left, there's some humor in there... help yourself.)

Son Of The Godfather said...

It appears that her shopping bonanza was "Epic" indeed.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"So this stupid-ass white kid cuts in front of me in line to ask if they have any sales on kilts..."

Submariner said...

...And when they said no, he asks "Then how about some Jack-o-lantern T shirts?"


(Mornin' SOTG and all the rest. Hope y'all had a great Christmas.)

Submariner said...

Dawn, if you've linked for a while and are only now objecting, that would mean the skewering of pretty much any other stereotype is ok with you, and it's only black women that make you offended? Rather racially insensitive of you, don't you think? Or is it just hypocrisy

Submariner said...

D*mn! Lola. How long did you spend in the tanning bed?

Son Of The Godfather said...

How'd she get the palm tree to fit in that one bag?

(Mornin' Sub!)

Submariner said...

So I said to myself "Self - I always thought 'shop til you drop' was a cliche" but when the Gov fell out after cashing out in Old Navy? Well I just picked up her bags and waltzed on over here!

V the K said...

With one exception, I would have used the same captions if they were white women.

Rodney Dill said...

I guess Dawn would also make disparaging comments about the humor of Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock...

Submariner said...

RD - decisions, decisions! Do I want to point out Pryor, Murphy, Rock, etc racial humor as "reverse racism" or "you'd have to be black to understand?" Tough one.

Rodney Dill said...

Not Reverse racism, but all engaged in making comments that enforce the racial stereotypes of black women. Bill Cosby also comes to mind, and others, these were just the first ones that came to mind. Personally I enjoyed the humor of all of these men, I also enjoy pointing out the double standard that lets them engage in stereotype reinforcing behavior.

But this is far too much serious commentary for someone far better known for moronic captioning behavior.

Submariner said...

So get this! Then Bill bit his thumb and says "I feel your pain..." and actually worked up a crocodile tear!

Submariner said...

An ORA just for Dawn:

"Lighten up, Frances."

Submariner said...

Jane Fonda - "So I just gave all the slips of paper to the Viet Cong leader. But enough about me, Cindy; tell me about all the things you've been doing to take down the U.S. war-machine?"