Monday, December 19, 2005
Arrrrrgh! My Eyes!
I know what you're all thinking. Damn it, V, if you're giving us this and Sheehan on Monday, the babe on Thursday better make Angelina Jolie look like Kathy Bates.
1. Tubes of frosting, they're not just for breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner, mid-morning snack, second breakfast, mid-afternoon snack, pre-dinner snack, post-dinner snack and midnight snack any more.
2. "Hey, hideous women whose sons weren't killed in Iraq are entitled to desperate pleas for attention, too!"
3. "I'm not exactly sure what she does, either, but Senator Clinton says she's an indispensible member of the staff."
4. The lawsuit against TSA's new biometric scans was the one time everyone supported the ACLU.
5. Please, for the love of God, don't ask to see her "happy little trees."
6. They just look like shapeless pink blobs to me. Her paintings aren't any good either.
7. Coincidentally, all five of her babies died of lead poisoning.
8. "It's not art, you idiot. That sick perv just bit my nipples off!"
9. A tape of this episode of Postcards From Buster was sent to the White House with a note reading. "Come on. Just try and cut our funding. We double dog dare you."
10. Bertha was later evicted from the trailer park for her 'Anatomically Correct Garden Gnomes' display.
Best of Prough91
Bob Ross' sister didn't do nearly as well with her show… until it moved to Lifetime.
From Gary Larson’s Reject pile: Trailer Park Mammograms.
Best of Submariner
Surprisingly, even inflated-scrotum guy didn't ask for a signed copy of Bertha's "Nipple Prints From the Edge."
What do you mean "I suggest 5 or 10 gallons of Sear's Weatherbeater for full coverage?"
No, babushka, in my country you don't have party, party has you!
Best of Van Helsing
At first Bertha considered her bleeding nipples to be a problem. But then she learned she could make a nice living breastfeeding lawyers.
Best of Bubbalove
10 year-old Michael Moore is seen here at Summer Camp painting art cells for a movie he wants to make when he grows up called "Camp Counselor Roger and Me."
Best of AlphaMu42
Reason #325 why the 'Breasts not Bombs' compaign is not as popular as one would expect.
Greg Sanders' enthusiasm for collecting evidence quickly wanes when he discovers that this woman is the only suspect in the latest case
Although Dolly Parton has been a USO volunteer for over 30 years, few people know that she no longer signs her own letters to the troops.
Just your typical Berkeley 3rd grade Art teacher.
Best of Rodney Dill
Expose yourself to Art
Best of catbat
That's an insult to the eyes. Absolutely sickening. I can't believe she'd use napthol crimson alongside cadmium red.
Best of The Church Lady
"Well, I see that some of us have to bare our breasts in order to create art. Isn't that special?"
Best of ColoradoPatriot
In a final desperate attempt to wrest his attention away from his work, Dr. Rorschach's wife unwittingly stumbles onto an idea that would make her a rich, albeit sexually frustrated, divorcee.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Sorry V, I get mixed up with the lingo the kids use nowadays... I meant for you to show us some phat boobies, not fat boobies. My bad.
Billy-Bob thought that everything seemed fine at the trailor park... That is, until Ned the milkman showed up with two large, red paint splotches on the inner thigh section of his white uniform.
"Uhm... OK... Most of our illiterate clients just sign with an 'X', but that's o.k. too..."
From Knowledge B. Power