1. After seeing her own body naked, Cindy Sheehan claws her own eyes out. 2. Edvard Munch's The Hissy Fit
3. "Oh my God! I have no soul!"
4. "... and the old moonbat cried and asked the black cobra 'Why did you bite me?' And the cobra answered, 'You knew what I was when you put me around your neck.'" --- The Moonbat and the Cobra, a Native American folktale.
5. Nothing moved Mother Moonbat more than the gift of Yasser Arafat's large intestine, which she wore around her neck from that day forward.
6. Ever since that night in the ditch with Al Sharpton, it hurts when she pees.
7. Sometimes wedgies feel so good that you just have to cry.
8. Someone really should have warned her about Indian food.
9. Mother Moonbat would soon regret her vow not to wipe herself until all troops were withdrawn from Iraq.
10. "It's not fair! I thought black was supposed to be slimming!"
Best of Gavriel
Cindy Sheehan checks her onion-juice soaked hands in preparation for her next televised interview.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Her head then split open to reveal Arnold Schwartzenegger, who had been trying to reach Mars covertly.
In that brief moment, she realized the the dire consequence of having forgot her tinfoil beanie... but it was too late, the Rovian satellite waves had already zeroed in.
Those first brief moments of determining if you let out a little fart or a poopie can be unsettling.
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Awwwww, dammit! WHY did you HAVE TO buy a vowel?!?"
Cindy's solidarity with Tookie prompted her to don her Crips sweatshirt, while her memorial to Liberace prompted her to don her black feather boa.
Best of Prough91
“ ...and when Al put it right in my face, this was approximately my expression.”
Best of sonicfrog
"I’m Melting, MMmmelting! What a world, What a world!"
{Actually, a commenter at SondraK’s blog had the same thought - V}
Best of Submariner
Bratwurst in the deli's window? Oh, Al! Jesse! I miss you so much!
When I bite into a York's Peppermint Patty (tm), I get the sensation of a 7-11, giant, economy bag of ice being forced up my nether regions... twice...
Best of Van Helsing
"I could have had a V8!"
Best of Anonymous
"They found Casey alive? Oh crap!"
Best of occasional reader
“NO! WIRE! HANGERS!... EVER!!!
Best of AlphaMu42
Suddenly, Cindy is struck with an overwhelming sense of remorse for having exploited Casey's death to advance her own personal agenda... No wait, it's just gas.
Best of ColoradoPatriot
"KAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNN!"
Best of Frank IBC
Separated at birth from Martin Short.
From Breitbart on a tip from Chip
46 comments:
Cindy Sheehan checks her onion-juice soaked hands in preparation for her next televised interview.
(but yours are way better)
"WHY WON'T ANYONE BUY MY PAMPHL... ERR... BOOK?!?"
(V, your #2 gets the soda-in-the-nose award of the day!)
"Hey Cindy, what do these laser pointers feel like when aimed right at your pupils?"
Her head then split open to reveal Arnold Schwartzenegger, who had been trying to reach Mars covertly.
When the public no longer pays attention to you, use "jazz hands" to garner interest.
"Dang it, Jessie, what's my next line?"
Hands don't make an effective tissue during a sneeze attack.
"Awwwww, dammit! WHY did you HAVE TO buy a vowel?!?"
Cindy's solidarity with Tookie prompted her to don her Crips sweatshirt, while her memorial to Liberace prompted her to don her black feather boa.
"OK, we're gonna do this the Scanner way..."
Those first brief moments of determining if you let out a little fart or a poopie can be unsettling.
"I feel a great disturbance in the force... Oh wait, just another hot-flash... Nevermind."
Is there anything more pathetic than a middle agaed woman who thinks walking around with a rotting python carcass on her shoulders will make her look like Nastassia Kinski?
...and then Al put it right in my face.
"I’m Melting, MMmmelting! What a world, What a world!"
PS. Can't believe one got to this first!
I've cut off both my thumbs in protest of GGeorge Bush's war (that we cannot win)!
Bratwurst in the deli's window? Oh, Al! Jesse! I miss you so much!
When I bite into a York's Peppermint Patty (tm), I get the sensation of a 7-11, giant, economy bag of ice being forced up my nether regions...
twice...
ORA:
They look like two such strong hands, don't they?
Note to self:
Alum powder in eyes is NOT a good solution to crow's feet formation.
What do you mean "I suggest 5 or 10 gallons of Sear's Weatherbeater for full coverage?"
And if V. the K. doesn't start posting Best o' again, I'm going to move the table out of the way!
Dang it! Last two belonged under the other picture.
"I could have had a V8!"
This is cold, but here goes:
"They found Casey alive? Oh crap!"
You know, vampires and demons have the same reactions to Holy Water.
and on that note
"I sprayed her with my Super Soaker, and she then began to shout about a burning sensation all over her. I wonder why?" "I don't know what is going on with her, Cardinal."
"I saw W's necktie and had to fight this overwelming urge to yank it; Y'know what I mean?"
"Absolutely, Cindy. I get that way every time I see a black knitted scarf..."
"NO! WIRE! HANGERS!... EVER!!!
Suddenly, Cindy is struck with an overwhelming sense of remorse for having exploited Casey's death to advance her own personal agenda...
no wait, it's just gas.
Even Cindy can no longer stand her own fetid stench.
JAMA - An often overlooked diagnosis for stupidity is Spontaneous Brain Freeze, not to be confused with Spontaneous Combustion, which actually will usually end the said condition of stupidity.
To her horror, Cindy realized the shooting, burning agony of her skin could only mean that she had again stepped into the sunlight without putting on her anti-U.V. paste. The Master would surely punish her now!
"KAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNN!"
(But I concede to the Mommy Dearest reference above.)
"Ok, I'm hearing it again:
'Mom.... you're.... embarrassing.... the.... hell... out.... of.... me.'
What do you think that means?"
In that brief moment, she realized the the dire consequence of having forgot her tinfoil beanie... but it was too late, the Rovian satellite waves had already zeroed in.
Next time don't try to eat the ice cream so fast, dumbass.
Punk'd: Moonbat Edition
We secretly replaced Ms.Sheehan's bongwater with Windex... let's see what happens!
"Sometimes... when I get really nervous... I like to take my hands out of my buttcrack and smell them like this..."
Tent business may suffer:
Mix 1 ounce of ammonia per 1 ounce of Visine. Stir lightly, then refill Visine bottle...
This story's been dead quite awhile... Looks like rigor mortis has set in.
Depending on how long the scarf is, Cindy may be just an escalator-ride away from martyrdom.
Very ORA?:
"The good news is the earwig made its way through and you have survived... The bad news is, it was a female and has laid its eggs."
(That one gave me nightmares as a kid!)
Separated at birth from Martin Short.
Not a caption, but doesn't this pic just scream out to be photo-shopped with the Emperor's "dark Force" lightning bolts shooting from her fingers and attacking her own eyes?
heh heh heh
The crowd stood aghast as Ms. Sheehan turned back into Bill Bixby.
A bereaved mother who has tirelessly fought to prevent further deaths like her own son's, clenches her hands in frustration at the Bush administration's lies.
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