Monday, December 12, 2005

101 Damnations

1. "Don't worry Santa! Ace and Gary will save you! Friend of friends, prepare to save Santa... doggy style."

2. "Look at us! We're covered with manholes."

3. Ace and Gary wanted to score with firemen in the worst way.

4. How sexually transmitted Panda Measles made the leap from Pandas to humans may never be known, but the disease spread rapidly following a visit by Barney Frank to the National Zoo.

5. A passing manure spreader brought Andrew Sullivan's white party to an abrupt end.

6. "We aren't limber enough to lick our own crotches, but we have manage a work-around."

7. Two more exhibits for the case against Intelligent Design.

8. "It's no use, Gary. They're all distracted by the lesbian knife-fight."

9. "Oh, sure. Like putting on skin tight shorts and dalmation body paint and prancing around in public isn't something every married heterosexual couple does."

10. The Berkeley left throws another somber memorial march for troops killed in Iraq.

Best of Submariner
Barney Frank mused - "I wonder if I could get away with humping Kennedy's leg if I painted myself that way?"

Tim Leary wasn't sure if he was having a flashback or just visiting Disney on "Red Shirt Day."

Katie Couric and Matt Lauer found a unique way to cover the Westminster Dog Show this year...

Andrew looked at Barney and simpered, "Do you think I could get McGruff to take a bite out of me?"

The John Candy fan club will now come to order.

Ace: "Gary, you sure know how to give a dog a bone"

Best of Divine Miss M
"Pearls with dalmation print?" asked Boy George. "Oh, I simply can not handle weirdness."

Andrew Sullivan fretted for weeks over what wedding gift to send Elton John and David Furnish, but hey, doesn't everybody have a use two more semi-nude, dalmation-clad, limp-wristed, bead-adorned houseboys?

Best of Prough91
Number one reason you shouldn't wear white after labor day. (Well, that and getting beaten to death in a phone booth by Serial Mom - K)

Best of AlphaMu42
One of the few photos ever taken of the 1982 "Liberace/ Elton John" World Tour.

"Oh crap, I think we've just been spotted." (yeah... but I have done worse captions)

"Hey Gary, what's black and white and inhabits Uranus?"

Best of sonicfrog
".... and we're going to Massachusetts to get muuuurried."

Inspired by AlphaMu42
"How did we come up with these costumes? Well, one night we were sniffing each other's asses, like we always do, and it just came to us."

Best of catbat
do you think they argued about who got to be the bitch?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Joan and Melissa Rivers have officially "jumped the shark".

Out in public, they were heralded as a "uniquely eccentric" couple... Not so much at home, where they would crap on the lawn and scoot their asses across the carpet.

One theory of why they cancelled Enterprise was that they were running out of creative ideas for alien species.

So what do Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews do with their off-air time anyway?

After careful consideration, I respectfully disagree... Not all dogs go to heaven.

I think I can finally "get with" the ending of Old Yeller.

Wonder Twin Powers: ACTIVATE! "Shape of: A Spotted Sodomite!" "Form of: A Degenerate Dalmation!"

The incident ended unexpectedly when the duo wandered too close to a Korean market and were never heard from again.

(REUTERS/Andy Newman/Florida Keys News Bureau)

55 comments:

Submariner said...

Ace likes to do it "doggy style"

I sit up and beg, he rolls over and plays dead.

The Man said...

Andrew Sullivan likes it doggy style.

Submariner said...

Barney Frank mused - "I wonder if I could get away with humping Kennedy's leg if I painted myself that way?"

Submariner said...

Tim Leary wasn't sure if he was having a flashback or just visiting Disney on "Red Shirt Day."

Submariner said...

Where is Cruella DeVille when you need her?

Submariner said...

Katie Couric and Matt Lauer found a unique way to cover the Westminster Dog Show this year...

Submariner said...

Andrew was evicted from the Magic Kingdom (tm) after multiple reports that he went up to boys, flopped on his back and asked to have his "tummy" rubbed.

Divine Miss M said...

"Pearls with dalmation print?" asked Boy George. "Oh, I simply can not handle weirdness."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Would love to see these two wierdos "ruff'd" up... get it? ;)

Submariner said...

Andrew looked at Barney and simpered, "Do you think I could get McGruff to take a bite out of me?"

Submariner said...

I ain't no cowboy, but I'd learn a new trick or two for some Pomeranian pudding...

Submariner said...

Poodles are ok, but for my money? Nothing beats a nice tight seal.

Submariner said...

ORA?

The John Candy fan club will now come to order.

Prough91 said...

Number one reason you shouldn't wear white after labor day.

AM42 said...

Inspired by submariner's ORA:
Gary is half man and half dog. He's his own best friend.

AM42 said...

"Sorry, but if I could lick myself I would never have left the house."

AM42 said...

Fashion note:
Unlike vertical stripes, spots are not slimming.

AM42 said...

Recycled from the previous photo:
Just your typical Christmas in Berkeley.

AM42 said...

"Hey, what's the deal with that 8-year-old girl in camouflage crouched down by the mailbox across the street?"

sonicfrog said...

".... and we're going to Massachusetts to get muuuurried."

AM42 said...

Blatantly stolen because nobody's used it yet:
One of the few times that going with a smelly pirate hooker is probably your better option.

sonicfrog said...

Ah yes. Consider Man. A dog's best friend.

AM42 said...

"Okay Gary... I agreed to dress up with you, but do you have to keep sniffing my ass?"

sonicfrog said...

I swear I didn't pee on the counch!

Neither did I!

sonicfrog said...

And you wonder why so many cities have leash laws.

AM42 said...

One of the few photos ever taken of the 1982 "Liberace/ Elton John" World Tour.

catbat said...

haven't you noticed? they cropped out the third pup. and i thought i taught you all that bestial homosexual polygamy = love.

catbat said...

do you think they argued about who got to be the bitch?

Divine Miss M said...

Andrew Sullivan fretted for weeks over what wedding gift to send Elton John and David Furnish, but hey, doesn't everybody have a use two more semi-nude, dalmation-clad, limp-wristed, bead-adorned houseboys?

Divine Miss M said...

Elton and David were so delighted with the houseboys that on Andrew Sullivan's next birthday, they sent him 48 naked sailors.

Submariner said...

Ace: "Gary, I've got a bone for you to chew on!"

Submariner said...

David sniffed, "Oh Elton, you're such a bitch!"

Van Helsing said...

Where's Cruella de Ville when you need her?

Son Of The Godfather said...

It seems the turnout for Broke-backside Mountain was a success.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Trying to play God by crossing the DNA of San Francisco's elite with the "hyper-shiek hipness" of a dalmation-themed ensemble had tragic, yet not completely unexpected results.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Animal Farm: Berkeley:
"Four legs bad... Two legs... worse."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Another argument for neutering your pets.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Joan and Melissa Rivers have officially "jumped the shark".

Son Of The Godfather said...

Out in public, they were heralded as a "uniquely eccentric" couple... Not so much at home, where they would crap on the lawn and scoot their asses across the carpet.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Ironically, they were splattered with red paint by another moonbat chanting "Fur is murder!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

One theory of why they cancelled Enterprise was that they were running out of creative ideas for alien species.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Ed Asner and Joan Baez protest Tookie William's execution:
"You mean it's not a costume-protest?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Freak on the right looks disturbingly similar to Jack Nicholson...

All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy. All work and no play make Spot a dull boy.

Son Of The Godfather said...

So what do Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews do with their off-air time anyway?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hmmmmm... After careful consideration, I respectfully disagree... Not all dogs go to heaven.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I think I can finally "get with" the ending of Old Yeller.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Wonder Twin Powers: ACTIVATE!
"Shape of: A Spotted Sodomite!"
"Form of: A Degenerate Dalmation!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

The incident ended unexpectedly when the duo wandered too close to a Korean market and were never heard from again.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Little-known fact about SOTG:
Would share a Tootsie-pop with his Labrador before shaking hands with either of these guys.

Son Of The Godfather said...

And because I can't leave it at just 49 caps:
Who let the dog's out?... (Who, who, who, who, who?)
No, seriously, I want to talk to them.

AM42 said...

"Oh crap, I think we've just been spotted."

(yeah... but I have done worse captions)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Waddya mean, 'why did we dress up'?"

(alphamu42 - THAT was good!)

AM42 said...

Robert Iger would soon regret the drastic budget cuts he made to Disney World's costume department.

AM42 said...

(okay sotg- maybe that was good, compared to...)

"Hey Gary, what's black and white and inhabits Uranus?"

Rodney Dill said...

What would I recommended for lunch at the local pub? Well for starters I'd avoid the Spotted Dick.


(Yea its late, but just too good to pass up)