1. "Don't worry Santa! Ace and Gary will save you! Friend of friends, prepare to save Santa... doggy style."
2. "Look at us! We're covered with manholes."
3. Ace and Gary wanted to score with firemen in the worst way.
4. How sexually transmitted Panda Measles made the leap from Pandas to humans may never be known, but the disease spread rapidly following a visit by Barney Frank to the National Zoo.
5. A passing manure spreader brought Andrew Sullivan's white party to an abrupt end.
6. "We aren't limber enough to lick our own crotches, but we have manage a work-around."
7. Two more exhibits for the case against Intelligent Design.
8. "It's no use, Gary. They're all distracted by the lesbian knife-fight."
9. "Oh, sure. Like putting on skin tight shorts and dalmation body paint and prancing around in public isn't something every married heterosexual couple does."
10. The Berkeley left throws another somber memorial march for troops killed in Iraq.
Best of Submariner
Barney Frank mused - "I wonder if I could get away with humping Kennedy's leg if I painted myself that way?"
Tim Leary wasn't sure if he was having a flashback or just visiting Disney on "Red Shirt Day."
Katie Couric and Matt Lauer found a unique way to cover the Westminster Dog Show this year...
Andrew looked at Barney and simpered, "Do you think I could get McGruff to take a bite out of me?"
The John Candy fan club will now come to order.
Ace: "Gary, you sure know how to give a dog a bone"
Best of Divine Miss M
"Pearls with dalmation print?" asked Boy George. "Oh, I simply can not handle weirdness."
Andrew Sullivan fretted for weeks over what wedding gift to send Elton John and David Furnish, but hey, doesn't everybody have a use two more semi-nude, dalmation-clad, limp-wristed, bead-adorned houseboys?
Best of Prough91
Number one reason you shouldn't wear white after labor day. (Well, that and getting beaten to death in a phone booth by Serial Mom - K)
Best of AlphaMu42
One of the few photos ever taken of the 1982 "Liberace/ Elton John" World Tour.
"Oh crap, I think we've just been spotted." (yeah... but I have done worse captions)
"Hey Gary, what's black and white and inhabits Uranus?"
Best of sonicfrog
".... and we're going to Massachusetts to get muuuurried."
Inspired by AlphaMu42
"How did we come up with these costumes? Well, one night we were sniffing each other's asses, like we always do, and it just came to us."
Best of catbat
do you think they argued about who got to be the bitch?
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Joan and Melissa Rivers have officially "jumped the shark".
Out in public, they were heralded as a "uniquely eccentric" couple... Not so much at home, where they would crap on the lawn and scoot their asses across the carpet.
One theory of why they cancelled Enterprise was that they were running out of creative ideas for alien species.
So what do Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews do with their off-air time anyway?
After careful consideration, I respectfully disagree... Not all dogs go to heaven.
I think I can finally "get with" the ending of Old Yeller.
Wonder Twin Powers: ACTIVATE! "Shape of: A Spotted Sodomite!" "Form of: A Degenerate Dalmation!"
The incident ended unexpectedly when the duo wandered too close to a Korean market and were never heard from again.
(REUTERS/Andy Newman/Florida Keys News Bureau)