* I could not improve upon the original headline from the Detroit News.
1. The Lions have decided it's just less humiliating to assume the position and have the opposing team sodomize them during the first quarter.
2. "Man, I am never buying gas station sushi again."
3. "Oh, mercy, look at me! Two hits of ecstasy and I'm anybody's bitch."
4. "It's all thanks to you. Give me five, my little ant friend."
5. "Okay! Okay! I love Big Brother! I love Big Brother! Now, get this rat out of my helmet."
6. "A half-time enema is in my contract. Now, send me the waterboy."
7. "... and then the End Zone spike ricocheted and caught him right in the jewels. It was the funniest thing I ever saw."
8. Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?
9. Harrington collapses in laughter after finally getting the joke about the Oiler who nailed the Cowboy from behind.
10. It's okay Joey, just one last quarter separates you from a nice long shower and a locker room full of hunky, naked men.
Best of Divine Miss M
We're not worthy! We're not worthy!
'Scuse me, while I snort this line!
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"'Fluctuations!' ... So the Oriental says angrily: 'Yeah? Well fluc you Canadians, too!'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that kills me every time!"
Inspired by Rufus Leaking
Harrington's conversion to Islam didn't help the Lions at all. Next stop, Scientology.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"YOU MANIACS. YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"
"Hold up everybody! I want to hear that idiot from the picture below mutilate his scrotum on the broken glass!"
Best of Kevin Walker
"What was it like at the bath house? Well, I was bent over like this, and I had my hand on his ass like this, and then... Wait, nobody is recording this, right?"