1. "It's step-turn-kick, step-turn-kick, step-turn-step, and flair! Where the hell did you turds learn choereography!"
2. "My name is Sergeant Fletcher. NOT Sgt. Feltcher! And the next one of you turds who makes that mistake will feltch my boot out of his ass!"
3. "I want this latrine so clean I can eat my lunch off of it... because I intend to!"
4. "Which one of you turds deleted PowerPuff Girls from my TiVo?"
5. "What is so funny about me wanting to stare at my privates?"
6. "Do YOU have a PROBLEM with my CULOTTES, Turd?"
Best of Van Helsing
"I see a booger! Your nose does not pass inspection! That will be 50 pushups! And I'll eat the booger!"
Best of Divine Miss M
"Pearls with fatigues?! Are you mad, Private?"
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Does this look like a canker sore to you?"
"And the next time you're caught with a heated-bra mannequin in the latrine, you'll be doing push-ups until Michael Moore is thin and Alec Baldwin is coherent, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"I fail to see the humor in my announcing the guest speakers here today: Major Woody and Private Partz!"
Best of Occasional Reader
Why the USMC doesn't allow Drill Instructors to train their own brothers: "DOES THIS BOTHER YOU?! DOES THIS BOTHER YOU, PUKE?! I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU! DOES THIS BOTHER YOU?!"
Best of Vonski
"No, private! I will not preemptively bless you before you sneeze! That's not the way it works... first you sneeze and THEN you get blessed. Got it, son?!"
Best of Submariner
"You aren't half the man that Demi Moore is, are you grunt?" "Sir, yes sir! I mean, Sir! NO Sir! Aw sh!t - what's the right answer to THAT question?"
"You just can't wait to leave my Army, sit in a bus depot and have dogs lick you face and other parts, can you, puke?"
Best of Mr. Right
And if you EVER touch my Barbie Doll collection again...
"Does it feel good when I rub you there, maggot? You will not finish until I tell you to finish! Is that clear?" "Yes, Sgt. Sullivan, Sir!"
I got it from Yahoo News/Shannon Stapleton/Reuters (Captioning will be light today. I have one mother of a cold. Please pick up the slack.)