Thursday, November 10, 2005

Topic: Things in France That Are Hot For Reasons Other Than Muslims Set Them On Fire


So, we have to look at old hags like Katie Couric and the French get to look at this? (Thanks --- Ace of Spades HQ)

1. Je ne suis pas une prostituée puant de pirate

2. Magritte's "Ce n'est pas une hottie."

3. "Some would say 'breasts not bombs.' I say, 'why not both?'"

4. You know, captioning goes a lot faster when you have both hands on the keyboard.

5. "Courage ... And Breasts!"

6. The only downside about watching French News... you have to put in a credit card number to continue.

7. "Today, in an effort to solve the problem of Muslim unemployment, the French government announced a plan to build to build thousands of 7-11's throughout Greater Paris."

8. "... in other news, will these tiny spaghetti straps hold, or will my firm supple breasts exceed their tensile strength? I suggest you stay tuned."

9. Be honest. If Mary Mapes looked this good, you wouldn't care that she was a lying b*tch and crazy as a sh*thouse rat.

10. The only newscast in the world that opens with 'wakka-chikka wakka-chikka' music.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"If she was on 'FOX' news, she'd be known as 'Le Renard'!"

"Come to Butthead."

Andrew Sullivan: "Oooh, look, a story about a fire!"


Best of CJ
"Ze cowboys in ze tight jeans. Why do zey not look at me? Why do zey just lean on ze truck and eat zair pudding?"

Best of Citizen Grim
Those Breasts are the epitome of "Fair & Balanced"...

Best of occasional reader
According to the news crawl, my interest in doing anything other than staring at the newsreader's cleavage is down 84 percent.

Mr. Know-it-all Cybrludite upgrades Caption #1
"Je ne suis ni paunt, ni un pirate!"

41 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

Damnit! Difficult to French-bash on this one. Norman, please coordinate...

(OMG, V... All yours are winners!)

Son Of The Godfather said...

A real sick bastard would try to "disappear" that dress in Photoshop... heh heh... Yeah... A real sick bastard... Giggidy... Oh, was that out load?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"All your bulges are belong to us."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"And in other news, it doesn't matter what the hell I say because you aren't really listening are you?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

She has my teleprompter scrolling.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Holy shnikes! They could be twins!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"If she was on 'FOX' news, she'd be known as 'Le Renard'!"

(and my #2 = "Was that out loud?"... PIMF)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Come to Butthead."

Son Of The Godfather said...

There are some positives to the French angle here, boys...
1) She likely doesn't carry (or know how to use) a weapon.
2) She is likely to surrender easily.
3) She will do almost anything to appease.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"It's two o'clock on LCI... Do you know where your hands are?"

Cybrludite said...

Your freudian slip was showing there on comment #2, SOTG!

Cybrludite said...

...though given the chance, they'd torch her as well for not wearing a burka.

Son Of The Godfather said...

LMAO cyber! Tucked my slip back in so it won't show ;)

Cybrludite said...

In other news, it's been discovered that these riots were indavertantly caused by my zionist hair rays causing the Muslim men to go beserk. LCI appologizes for the inconvenince.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hey, don't judge me, it was funny in high school:
You know what would make that face look better?...
My balls slamming against her chin.
(Channeling Dice: "OW!")

Son Of The Godfather said...

Just let me grab a box of chocolates, some silk stockings, and I'm off to fight the Muzzies in the suburbs.

Son Of The Godfather said...

If you stare at her long enough, she leaps out of the monitor like in those damned cross-eye illusion thing-a-majigs.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Oui, SOTG, it is custom to show you how ze French kiss. We... how you say... open ze mouth a leetle bit... like this... Then we..."
Just tell your grandma you were late for dinner because you were fantasizing about a French hottie and had to rub one out. She'll understand.

CJ said...

"Ze cowboys in ze tight jeans. Why do zey not look at me? Why do zey just lean on ze truck and eat zair pudding?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Je ne suis pas "boner"?

(nice one, cj! ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Oooopsie... I seemed to have dropped my pencil...Excuse me while I bend down to get it..."
(Number in lower right shoots up to 10K)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Andrew Sullivan: "Oooh, look, a story about a fire!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

I'd warn that this picture is almost NSFW (Not Safe For Work)... But then again, neither is what I'm doing right now.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Coming up next on LCI: Al Franken, still a dickwad. Don't go away, we'll be right back."

Citizen Grim said...

Talk about "Fair & Balanced"...

occasional reader said...

According to the news crawl, my interest in doing anything other than staring at the newsreader's cleavage is down 84 percent.

occasional reader said...

French society is clearly still having trouble grappling with the concept of "perverse incentives". If you light a bunch of cars on fire in France, a) the government pays you 100 million euros, and b) this hot chick appears on t.v. to announce what you've done.

Chip said...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. There is only one reason to bail out France, ever. You think our fathers and grandfathers did it for croissants?

Have you ever seen a better example of freedom and democracy in your entire life?

This is our D-Day boys. Are you with me?

lawhawk said...

Elle est la Bombe!

Anonymous said...

We need to get one of those outfits for Kiran Chetry.

dag said...

Tetes, them French got 'em.

Crimsonfisted said...

"We French girls have boobs that will delicately fill a champagne glass. You American girls have boobs that will clog a toilet."

Anonymous said...

Crimsonfisted, do you have any proof or examples?
Care to share them with us?

Anonymous said...

This is our D-Day boys. Are you with me? This is our D-Day boys. Are you with me?

I dunno, Chip, about D-Day. Those are lovely C's, unless I'm much mistaken.

Anonymous said...

"OK, who votes ze burka now, eh?"

Anonymous said...

er...make that "for ze burka".

PIMF.

Van Helsing said...

It's really too bad that ten years from now she'll be reading the news in a burka.

Anonymous said...

Any of you guys vote for the burka for this sweet thing I'll kill ya, so help me God.

Now, as for Hillary and Nancy Pelosi, that's another proposition entirely...

Cybrludite said...

And a better version of VtK's first caption would be:

"Je ne suis ni paunt, ni un pirate!"

jsoffer said...

And if you think she can't look better, just watch her picture next to Arafat. That contrast is almost enough to induce the quantum whatchamacallit that can squash the universe into fundamental particles.

Submariner said...

C'est Le Bleu!

Thees just ... in ...