1. "Oh, just picking up a few things from 'Adult Pleasurama' for the boys in Bravo Company."
2. "DVD's of every Ben Affleck movie. We figure they'll demoralize the insurgents into complete submission."
3. "Paris Hilton dropped her American Express card during the last USO tour. I bought Faberge eggs for the entire Occupation Force."
4. "Looting is so much easier when you have a Blackhawk at your disposal. Oh, yeah, Go Pistons!Woooooo!!."
5. "Yeah, Al Franken's making another USO tour, and whenever that happens, we have to stock his tent with moisturizers, soy milk, green M&M's, pink silk thong underwear and lilac-scented bath beads."
6. "Why do I need 6,000 lbs of dog turds and a Blackhawk helicopter? Well, Congressman Murtha is about to visit our unit, and we just want to show our 'appreciation' for his little suggestion about us surrendering."
7. "Marshall Field's wasn't going to throw in free gift wrap, so I pistol whipped the Customer Service manager."
8. Uh-oh, desert camo and jungle camo... fashion faux pas.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"This is my rifle, this is my gun... Holy shnikes!... Shoes half-off at Kabul-mart!"
The memory of having to find a landing zone during the busy Christmas shopping season was seared, seared into her memory.
Lisa's smile would disappear once she realized she locked the keys in the trunk of her Blackhawk.
"Well, usually it's an unmarked van that shows up with this stuff, but as long as you're selling... I'll take 3 DVD players, an X-Box, and a Playstation... Untraceable, right?"
See, it's not true... We aren't there just to take their oil... They also have some techno stuff that's the shiznit for cheap!
Best of Submariner
Puh-leaze don't tell dad you saw me at the mall! He said not to take the Blackhawk anywhere with traffic...
It is, like, just so cool distributing food to the poor this way!
It was really cheap "shopping" for Christmas presents after we captured the first couple of palaces. But have you ever tried to return a gold-plated AK-47?
Best of AlphaMu42
"No, this isn't mail for the boys in Bravo Company... it's from them. It's for some Austrian video gamer."
Best of Divine Miss M
Uday Hussein's worst nightmare: a strong woman with a great smile and heavy artillery.
Best of Van Helsing
That Austrian video gamer isn't the only one who's stacked.
Best of Chip
Halliburton, schmalliburton, I need my Chunky Monkey! I don't care about their politics, dammit!
Thanks for the help, camera man, not.
Best of Occasional Reader
When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight, protected by M-60 door guns.
From a series in Stars and Stripes of photos taken by our brave, amazing soldiers in Iraq.