1. "Now line the plow up with the moonbat protesters and gun it!"
2. "Daddy, you are the undisputed Master of the Bad Touch."
3. "Just park it here, I'll hose mommy's remains out of the mower blades."
4. "Aw, don't worry about it. Barfy's in a better place now."
5. "Fat ginger kid in a pumpkin shirt at 5 o'clock. Give me RAMMING SPEED!"
6. "Oooh, dad, I'm so-o-o-o-o-o impressed with the way you rigged the gearshift with duct tape. O-o-o-o-o-o-o-h, lookout McGyver, here comes my dad, yes, sir!"
7. "Hey, dad, if you're raising me to be a big, butch tractor dyke, maybe we should ditch the pink snowsuit and buy me some plaid flannel shirts."
Best of Kevin Walker
"Blind man! 25 points!" "F*ck that! Crippled man with the nurse! 100 points!"
Best of Whoopsie-Daisey
Dana Plato's childhood would forever be blamed for her unfortunate fascination with chains, vibrating machines and crawling up into the lap of various "big" men
Best of Son Of The Godfather
A Haliburton contractor shows pink-elf how to raze the Smurfville debris in order to put up a Starbuck's.
'Ow to Speak Pedophile: "tractor pull"
Best of Van Helsing
"Now I'll show you why we named the snowman Rachel Corrie."
Best of Submariner
"That thing got a hemi?"
Daddy? Why do we always ask the hitchikers first if they "have a familiy?"