1. In retroscpect, it was probably a mistake to limit the audience to sane and normal members of the Peace Movement.
2. The crowd would have been bigger, but they were all at the Crawford Wal-Mart rioting over ninety-nine cent patchouli.
3. "Actually, Mother Sheehan, those aren't AP photographers. The Dexatrim Corporation wanted photos of your thighs for research purposes. Hence, the wide-angle lens."
4. "I'm so bored. Anybody got a lighter so I can light up that flag?"
5. "Dammit! Al Franken promised the entire Air America listening audience would show up for my signing! Where are they?"
6. "Agence-France Press? No ma'am, we're here from Dark Meat Monthly, it's fetish mag for men who are into thunder thighs."
7. "Okay, next time I'll shower before the book signing."
8. Cindy Sheehan's Mad-Libs are always the same: "A BushHitler is always fun to visit on a hot summer BushHitler. There are lots of BushHitlery things to eat. You can start off with a hot dog with mustard, relish, and BushHitlers. Then, it's time to go on the roller coaster, which should settle your BushHitler. Other amusement park rides are the Dodge-Em which has little BushHitlers, that you drive and run into other BushHitlers, and the Merry-Go-Round where you can sit on a big BushHitler and try to grab the gold BushHitler as you ride past."
1. Look at those skinny little white pens. Damn, I miss Reverend Al.
2. I bet I could do some killer lines on this table.
3. "Sharpies are pretty good, but airplane glue, that's your Lexus of all inhalants."
4. The bar graph of the declining number of people who give a sh*t about Cindy Sheehan was a particularly cruel touch.
5. Cindy Sheehan:Not One More Mother's Child, Chapter One: "I resolved to end the love affair with Revered Al tonight . . . summarily, like Martha Stewart ripping the sand vein out of a shrimp's tail . . . though the term "love affair" now struck me as a ridiculous euphemism . . . not unlike "sand vein," which is after all an intestine, not a vein . . . and that tarry substance inside certainly isn't sand . . . and that brought me back to Reverend Al."
Best of lawhawk
Damn, where's my assistant with the the frickin' Cheetos. And my Evian water. And my M&Ms, with the green ones picked out. Those give me the willies.
Best of sonicfrog
Cindy Sheehan. Meet Andy Worhol.
Best of evariste
"Rove's did what?!" "Enormous 'Job Fair & Free Shower' banners, you say?"
Best of The Man
Is someone serving yellowcake at this party?
Best of Submariner
I haven't seen crowds like this since the second night of Gigli!
Nothin, nothin... Just kicking back, workin up a yeast infection. You?
Actually, this has been the quietest stay on my adventure! How I long for the chatter and exuberance of the ANWAR! Your travelogue photographer, -- The Roving Gnome
Best of AlphaMu42
Reporters to Cindy: "We were told there would be punch and pie..."
Best of TC Lynch
"I'll sign your Willy for a Finn ... No, wait...come back!"
Best of Anonymous
"Nobody knows, the trouble I haven't seen, nobody knows my sorrow..."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Cindy was warned that any competing news of even moderate interest would affect the turnout... "F*ck you, George Takei!", she thought to herself.
Just outside the tent entrance: Nelson Muntz: "HA HA!"
Jean-Paul Sartre: "Hell is other people." Cindy Sheehan: "Where the hell are all the other people?"
Hat Tip: Sweetness and Light